The bulk of my sex toys, porn and kinky clothing is kept in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets. It is a lockable wooden chest, about 14″ x 10″ x 8″ that was actually my tuck box when I was at boarding school. I’ve never hidden the box itself – it has always just lived openly in my bedroom (when I lived alone), or beside my desk (in our spare bedroom) – but it always remains locked. It currently contains the following:
- 4 books
- 6 porn mags
- 6 porno movies (2 x VHS / 4 x DVD)
- 4 CDRs of porn
- 9 CBT toys
- 1 pair of hand cuffs
- 2 items of underwear
- 1 pack of condoms
- 1 butt plug
- 2 epliators
- 5 items of rubber fetishwear
- 1 bottle of talc
- 1 bottle of rubber polish
- and a handful of other sexy things, like a fetish map of The Big Smoke and some vintage porn post cards
The box is full!
And as previously mentioned, I have items (masturbators, CB6000s, porn, etc) in various other hiding places around the house. It’s about time I got the situation under control and knew where everything was without having to think about it. But there is no more room in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets. Having a second box is one option, but that’s going to start to raise suspicions (And yes I know, Dear Reader, that some of you think that would be a good idea) but the more realistic option is to have a bit of a cull.
Today it starts.
3 of the porn mags are going in the recyling. They are the more recent ones, and having had a quick flick through them, whilst the voluptuous tits and splayed pussies did indeed give me a boner, when I looked at the faces of the girls to which they were attached, I lost it as I really wasn’t that interested in jerking off over 20yr olds. (No offence to the 20-somethings in my audience!) The remaining 3 mags I’m keeping: one is a copy of the first porn mag I ever bought (though sadly not my original copy) and the other two were respectively published in the month I was 13 and the month I was born, and these were a 30th Birthday present from Geri, my ex-girlfriend, . (Yes, she was even my ex-girlfriend at the time.)
Next on the list, the larger of the two epilators, which will go on eBay. Now that I have found a good place locally to get my cock’n'balls waxed, I have little need for an epilator, other than to do a little pubic detailing, for which the smaller tool will suffice. And the mains powered one takes up almost as much space as my Fleshlight.
Finally, for the moment, are the 2 VHS tapes. Along with several others that are either buried at the back of a desk drawer or in a box in the loft. But don’t worry, I’ll not be getting rid of these completely: I’ll be digging out an old VHS player, hooking it up to a PC and transfering the films to a password protected folder on a hard drive. Then I’ll dispose of the cassettes.
I still don’t know if that will give me enough space in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets for all my naughty little secrets, but t least it’s a start!