Covering up

Not so many years ago, you could walk into pretty much any British newsagent, and there’d be a good selection of well known porn mags openly displayed on the top shelf. Mayfair, Parade, Penthouse, Playboy, Razzle, Escort, Knave, Men Only … it was all good wholesome tits’n'arse’n'pussy. And as we all get more relaxed about how much flesh our pop stars flash, porn models have shaved off pubes, hoisted knees up to ears, and with fingers pulling pussy lips wide open, the photographer has moved in close enough to enjoy a good sniff. And I’m all for that. I like to toss myself off over a nice cunt close-up, and I’m more than happy to see an anus or two spread across the pages of jazz mags.

It probably won’t surprise you, Dear Reader, to know that I also look forward to the day when high street porn includes both genders, and fully erect cocks sinking into gushing cunts. Not only would that be titillating progress, but to have both genders, equally aroused in the same magazines would, I believe, be a force for sexual equality. But we’re a long way from that just yet … and I digress.

It seems that whilst we are heading towards more explicit porn, we simultaneously are heading towards increased prudishness. (See also my recent rant about Google.)

Granted, the soft end of the porn market has become a little blurred these days, and where Playboy has a history of writing lifestyle articles, and for many years Mayfair would include a car review amidst its buxom beauties, lads-mags now have boobies liberally scattered amongst articles on fashion, tech and fitness. Which is unnecessary, but nice.

As part of this progress, the covers of many porn mags have also become less restrained, to the point where many high street retailers now choose to cover up the covers with opaque plastic bags. A pity, though I can see there’s good reason for it.

But the likes of Loaded, Front and Viz may have brought censorship down upon themselves in the process, and there seems to be a prudish turn of events. I recently saw something wry much like this in a motorway service station.

We all know sex sells, and I can imagine that a lack of tits on display will disincentivise some readers, but equally bagging up the mags may give the impression there’s more smut smeared across their pages than there actually is, resulting in an increase in sales. It would be interesting to see some statistics on this, but I can’t help thinking that porn should really be left to the porn mags.