Size matters

How often do we hear the phrase that “size doesn’t matter”?
Let’s be honest, that’s bollocks.

I was reminded of this a) by reading I fucked two guys on christmas night (the men in question apparently had 8″ dicks) and b) by buying my Wife the wrong size underwear for Xmas. (Thankfully it was too small, not too large – we both know we both need to loose weight, get fit and have more sex in 2012).

Before all the girls shake their heads in despair, I did my research – I knew Her bra size, and dress size, and knicker size, and how tall She is. But parenting has not been kind to our waistlines, and almost nothing I’d bought Her fitted. Unsurprisingly, after childbirth, my Wife has developed a bit of a belly (and for the record, so have I, but that’s obviously down to other factors) and neither the suspended belt, panties, thong nor torsolette

… (when did basques become torsolettes, or am I missing some vital detail of distinction) had any real chance of fitting, and unsurprisingly (if you believe the claims of most lingerie shops, that most women are wearing the wrong size bra) looking at Her lovely tits, held by the new lace, I’d say She’s a C-cup, not a B-cup as She’s been wearing. So it’s all going back to the shop, and She can get sized up properly.

The up side of my error was twofold. I bought items that were too small – the theoretical translation being “of course I don’t think your fat darling” as opposed to “you’re not as fat as I thought darling”. Brownie points for me. And having opened her present my Wife told me She was feeling “so horny” and wanted to “fuck” me. I use the quote marks because these are words I have hardly heard Her use in years, if ever. Such has been our flagging sex life. The underwear was intended to say to her “I know we’ve not been doing so well in the bedroom for a long time, or rather we’ve not really been doing anything in the bedroom for a long time, but I still like to think of you sexually, I want you to think about yourself sexually, and I want us to think about Us sexually.” and by jove it seemed to work. She felt horny, She wanted to fuck me, and I think we both enjoyed us fucking. But she wasn’t wearing her new lingerie, and I’m quite sure we would rather she had been. Size is important.

Looking at the more traditional subject matter of the “size doesn’t matter” fallacy, ladies, I ask you, given the choice between an expert lover with a large cock, and exactly the same lover with a small cock, which do you really want in your pussy? In A Dissolute Life Means‘ Xmas tale, both her accomplices had 8″ cocks. If she had not thought this significant, why mention it? If the length of a dick were not important, why do we all think “cock” when we hear “six inches”? Why do vibrators range from tiny finger sized strokers to eye watering dilators? Size matters.

I should say at this point, I do not have a large cock. Though I’ve never really known the most legitimate way to measure it. Not that I have done so on a regular basis. Please, dear reader, please do not assume I am that insecure. But should one measure it along the top or bottom? The skin around the base of my cock curves as my shaft joins my body and/or ball sack – is it cheating to press the ruler against this curve and gain an all important half inch of self esteem? I don’t know. And frankly I don’t care. Although I have not looked this up recently, I believe that, according to Kinsey’s research, my dick is a little less than average size – somewhere around 5.5″ in length, and around the same in girth. I am average. OK. I know my dick has served both my lovers and I quite well, so I do not cry myself to sleep. Certainly my co-fuckers have never complained about my tiny pee-pee (though that particular ego assault would almost doubtless reduce it’s size still further and be counter productive when there was a cunt that needed to be filled to capacity irrespective of the tool at hand). And continuing the adage that “it’s how you use it” seems to have worked in our favours as my partners have (I think with one possible exception) all orgasmed regularly as a result of being penetrated by my nominally diminutive cock.

But would I like an extra couple of inches? Damn right I would! I’m not greedy, I don’t want a 12″ ovary thumper. But the fact that both I and the women I have fucked largely seemed to enjoy the process more when we used positions more conducive to deeper penetration confirms the validity of my desire to be able to penetrate deeper, especially when in a more relaxed position. I have no intention of using a penis enlarging pump, and certainly would not consider penis enlargement surgery (or at least not till it is a truly perfect process) but size does matter.

On the other side of the fence, most men would opt for at least medium sized tits to fondle. I’m not suggesting no one likes small tits, I’d rather be presented with a pair of B-cups than DD-cups, but again pretty much all of us have a preference. So size does matter. How many women have breast enlargements? Or reductions? Size matters.Β (On a related issue, if women are most generally not condemned for elective breast surgery, as it helps with self esteem, why do men get mocked or slammed as egotistical and overly concearned with alpha male sexuality if they want a bigger cock?)

But “why” matters not. What does matter is size. I’m not suggesting big is always best, but lets be honest, small usually isn’t.

And on that note, I’m off to make my member a little larger … if only for a few minutes.

58 Responses to “Size matters”

  1. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress Says:

    My particular preferences are for an average sized man. I read the ads bragging about 8″ cocks and just move along. There’s no pleasure for me to be stretched and pounded by that. Just one girl’s opinion though.

  2. I liked this post.

    But yes!!!! Size DOES matter. Truly, truly, truly it does. I’ve been with a man or two that were literally the size of a AAA battery. And I’ve been with a man who was about 10 inches and I just crossed my legs and winced.

    If I could have the perfect cock for the rest of my life, it would be just over six to eight inches. I prefer a thick cock to a long one.

    And when it comes to writing erotica… I find it silly to add in sizes of any kind.

    • When you said AAA battery my ego felt massaged and became engorged and erect.
      When you said the perfect cock was six to eight inches my ego felt inadequate and became flaccid and limp.
      (Does any adult male really only have a penis the size of a AAA battery. I’m genuinely surprised.)

    • I know it’s not generally mentioned in erotica, but for me I mentioned the size of their cocks because it turns me on. Large cocks do it for me. 8″ also happens to be my sweet spot. I can take up to 9″, but that’s pushing it. By sharing that bit of info I’m telling my readers another level of information about my experience πŸ™‚

      And I’m like you, I like ’em thick, too! xx

  3. Gillian Colbert Says:

    I’ve been with very small, I’ve also been with very large. Neither did it for me. I like average length. I don’t like to be in pain internally during sex, so “bottoming out” just takes me out of the mood. What’s really killer for me is width. I want to feel full and width, not length, is what makes that happen.

    • Size matters to me by way of preference, just like you mentioned breast-size. But I also happen to have a deep well and my g-spot is hit by larger cocks; the shorter ones simply don’t go there. It’s a matter of anatomy for me.

      But confidence also turns me on. One of my lovers now isn’t much larger than you and he’s hot as fuck and fucks me like his life depends on it and I love sleeping with him.

      So I guess I’m a size queen, but I’m also a cock lover. Bigger men need me so they can sink in all the way and I need them so I feel totally filled up.

      However, after saying all this, the first man ever to make me orgasm (via sex, me on top and bottom) had a smallish dick. His size turned out to be to our advantage because I could go longer.

      I love how honest you are in your posts and I’m rooting for you and a sexy 2012 like crazy. You sound positively lovely. xx

    • I hope it didn’t seem like a criticism of you mentioning bigger cocks. It was merely an observation.
      Other than persuading partners to contort themselves for my own gratification, I have never had problems getting the whole length of my dick into a pussy, and it is extremely pleasurable to do so, both physically and psychologically. So I guess there are be benefits to not having a long cock. I am grateful that my girth seems adequate, and regard that as a more important factor, but I would still like an extra inch or two.

    • “Bottoming out” reminds me of one lover I had – I could occasionally feel my cock touch her IUD, so I guess my cock must have matched her pussy pretty well. (My ego starts to swell.)

    • Nope, not at all. πŸ™‚

  4. sexuallifeofawife Says:

    My husband has an 8″ cock. Yes its great to feel all filled up and the idea does turn me on – but the reality is (that for me) sometimes it does hurt. I am a bit of a masochist – so some pain can be a turn on – but when it feels like its doing actual damage. No thank you!!!
    My first ‘proper’ boyfriend had a dick your size. Sex was great and we did it like rabbits. I got my first penetrative orgasm with him and thinking about it, I don’t get more orgasms now during sex because of the extra length and width…

    • It’s good to know normality rocks πŸ˜‰
      This has made me think though: I suspect most men know how big their dicks are, but do most women know how big their men’s dicks are? Increasingly I think I know bugger all about my Wife when it comes to sex, but I’d be suprised if She knew how long mine is, or at least not without giving it some thought.

  5. sexuallifeofawife Says:

    Well, I actually measured him the other day – without him actually noticing. I always knew he was big – but wanted to know the inches… They say curiosity killed the cat ; ) Anyway it was dark and we were mucking around with each other, so I put the tip of my middle finger along the topside of his cock at the base and the end of his dick reached my wrist. I took this measurement to a ruler and voila! Not the most scientific of studies I know – but interesting to do nevertheless…

  6. I’d say you are right, size matters, but probably less than people think. Libido matters, probably more than people think.
    I used to feel a certain sadness for men, how they must worry about this kind of thing. Up until now. Do all women have to have a certain…dare I say “pussy”? I never say that word in that context, mais bon. I have had so many body-related complexes throughout my life and now I have to find out that mine isn’t what it’s supposed to be. Ugly, in sum. Thanks Internet, thanks Mass-media for adding a new source of insecurity. Really I never knew what it looked like before waxing. I would never consider any kind of cosmetic surgery though. There are loads of ugly cars driving around that still get a person where they wanna go! LOL! Have a good Sunday.

    • By no means do all women have to have the same pussy. Or not in my opinion. And please, yes, do use the word pussy or cunt or muff or Glorious Altar of Erotic Wonder & Sensorial Delight or what ever you like. It’s your’s, own it.
      I guarantee that what ever the media has led you to believe, your pussy is not ugly. I don’t think an ugly pussy exists. I far prefer amateur porn to air brushed professional porn and one of the things I love is how they all look different.

  7. They really are all different. When you’re a kid you think there is just this absence but no, it’s really quite present. I’m relieved to know that not all men want a little girl in a big girls body.

    I like Glorious Alter…that I can say.

    • “Little girl in a big girls body”? How does that relate to what we want a cunt to look like? (Serious question – I don’t think I understand what you mean.)

      And you can have “Glorious Altar”. I hope to see its inclusion in the Tales of Miss Marble. πŸ˜‰

    • Wait…I have a video about this but I’m not too sure how to send it. It’s because women are having cosmetic surgery three times more than five years ago to get rid of whatever is ? out, over? Thus making you look like you did when you were five. I guess.

      Thanks for “Glorious Alter”. Maybe I’ll quote you!

    • Do you mean labioplasty?

    • I don’t think I inherantly have an issue with it. As I’ve stated, if I could get an extra inch or two by surgery, if there were no negative consequences (and I could afford it) I would consider it very seriously. I have not issue with women getting breast augmentation – fake tits do nothing for me in general, but if it makes you feel better about yourself, why not. And the same goes for getting your pussy tweaked surgically. Where all this starts to fall down for me, as you have already remarked upon, is what leads us to feel aesthetically inadiquate – why do we fee so?

    • I would be way too scared to do something like that…maybe if I was somehow disfigured but otherwise I would be afraid of somehow worsening my situation. I’m really flat, my mom has fake boobs, I’ve never felt that insecure about it myself. I think if a guy is already there, he probably already noticed my shortcoming. Sometimes in respect to other women, I feel a bit…not finished. Not too womanly.

      Bit like I said, the whole Glorious Altar deal took me by surprise. I had no idea that there is some kind of criteria as to how it should look. (I thought everyones was ugly! LOL!)

    • Au contraire mon ami! They are all beautiful and every tiny detail of them is a joy to behold!
      Out of curiosity, why do you think your’s is ugly? (Or did I misunderstand?) (Feel free no to answer that, or not to do so publically. Entirely at your discretion).

    • I didn’t think it was especially ugly before…but it’s not like in pornos.

    • I think you may be looking at the wrong porn. Too much Hollywood!
      You don’t have to have a face like Rita Hayworth to be beautiful, so why should you have to have a pussy like Jenna Jameson?

    • Good point. Thanks! I guess I would hate to look just like everyone else.

  8. PS: oops, altar.
    Does your Wife know about your blog? I have a serious advantage, my husband’s English is limited but I have this sinking feeling that he would not appreciate the tales of Miss Marble or her Glorious Altar.

    • I don’t think She’d appreciate me shouting about the sex we have, or even thinking about my ex lovers, never mind broadcasting about it.

    • No, I think she wouldn’t. Then again, for me, writing about this stuff seems sort of therapeutic. It’s becoming my way of working it all out. So our respective spouses don’t need to know, and we will end up (?) more fulfilled, or not. Plus I want to become famous, publish books…. I think I’ve finally find something that I enjoy and excell at at the same time.

      I wanna get filthy rich. VoilΓ !

    • Some of my motives are similar: I’m finding it helps to get my head round the issues we have. But it’s also a little hedonistic as I’m finding it quite adictive having an audience and being pulically salacious.
      Hopefully there will be no detriment and no one will get hurt.

    • That’s what I’m hoping too. I was thinking since I wrote you last, about getting famous (I really do love that idea) that I don’t think it can really happen because I’m less prolific and probably less arousing without an actual live one-person sort of audience. Did you read, “An Onanists’ Tail”? That is a good example. Without him listening I had no luck going on with my story. It was maybe my best effort.

      I am a hedonist pig. Oink, oink!

    • I did indeed read the Onanist’s Tail (though I had to google the word πŸ˜‰ )
      I’m not usually one for erotic stories, as such: I prefer my reading more explicit so I find myself skipping forward to the hot, sweaty, thrusting bits. But I really liked it and I was hoping there was going to be a sequel.

    • I tried. it just didn’t happen. The guy I wrote it to had only one comment, “There has to be MORE!”. Not yet.

    • It was an interesting premise. I htink he was right.
      But I’m curous to see how Miss Marble gets on with texting her fireman.

    • I think I’ll have to get more comfortable with words like “pussy” before I can really advance.

  9. I don’t have that much experience with cock sizes, but I’ve been thinking about it. I think a big cock would scare me, I’d be afraid I couldn’t take it, or that it wouldn’t be enjoyable. That said, I know it’s quite silly, having had a few children, I know no cock is ever going to be THAT big!
    This said, after having read Hyacinth’s tale of a Christmas past, I am thinking I need to try on more sizes before I can make an opinion πŸ˜‰
    This said, your post made me think of a different size too : body size. As I’ve been told before that I was too fat to be desirable. I know. Here, I want to use very strong and very vulgar language, but will refrain. After all, I am still married to the guy…

    • I don’t even remember reading this post but when I read your comment, I had to reply…because I am a Dawn too. πŸ˜‰ I say, “90 percent of the time, bigger is better.” but then again, I’m a big penetration fan. I guess for foreplay fans (not to say that I don’t like foreplay) bigger does not matter as much. Really, at the end of the day, erect is better! Ravenous hunger is better!

      I am too fat to be desirable as well. I am mainly the only person who thinks so, but that is more than enough. Fuck husbands who cut the grass from under our feet with snide remarks that remain engrained forever.

      Another Dawn

    • Please don’t feel restrained about using strong vulgar language round here. I do my best to use it at every opportunity to, and encourage my readers to do the same!

      Have you thought about trying fucking yourself with a really big dildo? Just to get an idea of whether you like big cocks.
      On the issue of too fat to be desirable, worst case scenario, that’s a flawed generalisation. Personally, I have a slight preference for smaller tits, as opposed to massive bazookas that a lot of men like: not everyone wants to fuck the same shaped person. Like pivoine68 says, ravenous hunger counts for a awful lot.

  10. Hello other Dawn,

    And thanks for your comment.
    I agree, erect is better… though a flaccid member is fun too, when you think of what you can do with it, and watch it unfold before your very eyes, under your touch, know that, somehow, you’ve got something to do with it changing shape…

    I don’t think I’m too fat to be desirable anymore. Not that I changed shape, just that I’m starting to change the way I feel about myself.
    As you say, fuck husbands who cut the grass under our feet with snide remarks. They do remain engraved. However, I’m working hard on the “forever” part of your comment. I was lucky enough to meet someone who didn’t find me that repellent, even if for only a short time. It helped boost that self-esteem of mine tremendously. Now I’m thinking : fuck my husband if he could not see how lucky he was to have me. I use the past tense, because he doesn’t really have me anymore. And because he somewhat changed his views at some point, though unfortunately I think too late for me.

    Bises Γ  toi


    • I’m working on the “forever” part and it is hard to get around. It is not my husband’s fault though, the seed was planted before I even had my first kiss.

      I’m so happy for you that you have turned your story around. (probably makes for a more amusing blog than mine. Lol!)

      As for flaccid, I cannot seem to take it for anything less than an insult, even though I am relatively intelligent and do read magazines when I’m at the dentist. That probably goes in the “forever” category of stuff I need to get over.

      Bises to you again!

  11. I don’t feel restrained about using strong language, here at least (I don’t normally use such language in real life, but in sex blogs? No problem!). It’s just that the language that was coming to my mind was probably unfair to him in many ways. And as I said, I’m still married to the guy, and even when I’m not anymore, I hope that I can still respect him. Maybe not on everything that happened in our lives (as with the comments above about my size), but still respect him a a person. Thus I’d rather refrain from using language that I might one day regret having used. If it makes any sense to you…

    Now, to reply to the other part of your comment : I’m pretty miserable in that area, in the sense that I’ve never fucked myself with anything other than my fingers (well, it’s something already, isn’t it?!). I don’t own a toy, vibrating or not, and I am not sure I want to buy one. First, it’s a timing issue : As I said on another support, it’s only been around a year and some that I’ve started to consider myself as a sexual being again. And around the same time, the fact our marriage was struggling was finally acknowledged. Things were done to try and improve on that, communication did become better, but however I hinted at my thinking about buying a toy, I never felt a great positive, let’s-do-it kind of response. And my relationship being what it was, I never went ahead and bought one.
    Then it’s now a money issue : since we’re in the process of splitting, I don’t feel entitled to spend his money buying this kind of things for myself, and I don’t have much money of my own, so I’m going to keep it to make sure I can put a roof above my and my children’s head.
    And finally, if I were to buy a toy, I’d probably start by buying something I know I could enjoy, rather than spend the money on something there is a chance I might dislike tremendously. Also, considering my lack of experience in that area, I’m thinking, if I did dislike it, how could I know it’s not just because it wasn’t the right type of toy for me/ because I didn’t know how to use it to the best of its ability?

    So me fucking myself with a massive dildo is quite remote on the list of possibilities.
    And though it’s something that hasn’t happened to me in quite a while, I’m pretty sure I’d rather fuck with the real thing, attached to a real person. If he’s got a big dick, then I might be less afraid knowing there is some sort of connection between us…

    And finally, on size : For me, it wasn’t a generalisation, but rather a very personal comment, from one very close someone… Unfortunately for me, this was the only person I’d been having sex with, for the longest time. On the other hand, I’ve become more attentive to the looks I get, and I now know this was not a general perception at all, even among men I knew quite well (though, sadly never in a carnal sense!).
    I wouldn’t say my tits are huge, nor are they small… This is actually the part of my body that I like best (even though I once was told that this is the last part of my body that looks good). What would you say?

    • That all makes perfect sense.
      If you’re interested in exploring your feelings about body image (and not just your own) Hyacinth’s boob day posts are an excellent place to start! And I don’t just say that because I like jerking off over pics of tits.
      (Not sure I quite understand your last question I’m afraid.)

  12. PS: Don’t hesitate! Buy a toy!!! πŸ˜‰

    • And as Pivoine says, buy a toy. You can get a bullet vibe for the price of a half decent bottle of wine.

    • (I’ll be happy to drink the other half while you are taking your new toy on a test-drive! Problem solving at its best!)

    • Considering you’re in France, I can’t help thinking its significant that I said a half decent bottle of wine rather than half a decent bottle of wine. I’m not sure if you can get a bullet vibe that cheap! πŸ˜‰

    • Not something I’ve come across before. Are you commenting via Gmail or from a WP account. The latter is pretty reliable as far as I know

    • So here’s my reply for Dawn

      Well, I don’t know about being more interesting than yours, my blog is literally a day old πŸ™‚ Not much on there yet, and since I’m really computer challenged, it might not change very rapidly πŸ˜‰ I wouldn’t say I’m happy to have turned my story around. And writing this brings tears to my eyes. In my mind’s eye, I was going to grow old with the father of my children. This really was my ideal of life. But then, life happened, and it’s just not going to happen I think. And since this is mostly my decision, I’m not really sad about it, mostly sad about the loss of that childhood ideal. It’s a grieving process like any other, and I know it’ll take time. And this is chocking me up a bit, so I cannot really reply to the rest of your comment. Ah, yes, last thing : about the toy… you’re not the firsts, and probably won’t be the lasts to encourage me to buy one. Now, whether I’ll actually go ahead and do it… that’s another story, that is somehow linked to the self image, bodily or not…

    • As for the reply to AM : Thanks for pointing towards Hy’s Boobday… Though I’m already participating ; think soapy tits and bathroom cleaning πŸ˜‰ And “exploring [my] feelings about body image” is exactly the reason I decided to join!

    • I was pretty confident you were that Dawn, and let me reassure you that based on what I’ve seen so far, you are certainly not too fat to be desirable.

    • Thank you, I appreciate your saying so. And most of me knows this. Even though I still have to conquer that little part that was heavily damaged through a lifetime of snide comments (well, my lifetime as a mother at least). As I said, now that I’ve decided to actually start looking at men’s reaction around me, I know that I’m still desirable! And even sometimes desired… About what you’ve seen so far : I need to point out that pictures are always selective (even if not touched up), and all of us probably try to show ourselves at our best, or at the very least show something that doesn’t make us feel uncomfortable just looking at it (along the lines of : no, I can’t really be that ugly!). I didn’t show you all the discards πŸ˜‰

    • I probably have an equal proportion of discards from my Members Only posts.

    • I am trying, and failing again (same type of error as before) to post a comment on your new latex haute couture design… *sigh*, *frustrated sigh*

    • Not sure how much I can help. Are you trying to comment via email or when logged into WP?

    • Also, “Not sure I quite understand your last question I’m afraid.”… do you better understand my last question now?!

  13. πŸ™‚
    Was wondering if I could get to see some of those pics…

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