I’m a kinky little thing … apparently

Having recently added up all the money I’ve spent on sex, and then told you all about it, Dear Reader, it seems I’ve let the cat out of the bag about my less vanilla side. “You are a kinky little thing aren’t you” was the response from one of your number. So I suppose I should fill you in on some of the details.

I was interested recently to read a blog by COYHM on kink vs fetish, and whereas, for the best part of a decade, I’ve though of myself as moving from curiously kinky to fetishistic, I now find myself reconsidering. There are a couple of my kinks that possibly do border on fetishes, but for the most part, the little twists in my sexuality are things which enhance my desire for someone, rather than being the keystone of my arousal.

You’ll have noticed from my list of pervy purchases that, other than standard items like porn, lingerie, vibrators and condoms, there are also a not insignificant number of BDSM toys and fetish clothing. That’s not to say I spend my time trussed up in a rubber gimp suit, with an e-stim dildo up my arse and a Prince’s Wand up my urethra. Far from it. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m any more than an amateur fetishist, so I shall need go into a little more depth on the topics of each of my kinks separately, but for now I shall just give you a quick over view.

By nature I am an experimenter. In some ways I am not that adventurous a character, but in other’s, if you can think of it, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll try it. Obviously I have my limits – it has to be adult, human, and consensual – if not, at best I’m not interested, somewhere in the middle I’m disgusted, and at the limit I’d probably turn into a very unpleasant, vengeful and sadistic bringer of justice. thankfully I’ve never had to go there, so lets not either.

So what do I like?

I like porn. Ok, nothing unusual there, but these days I’m not so much into what can easily be bought from newsagents’ top shelves – the models are often a little on the young side for a man of my age, they’re too airbrushed, and quite frankly, what most newsagents are prepared to sell is a little too softcore. Add to that, my most regular wank fodder these days is Amateur porn and Vintage porn …

… neither of which are well catered for on most high streets. Which is where the internet comes into its own. And the wide variety of porn available online has doubtless helped me explore and broaden my tastes. You can’t walk far through the forest of web porn without stumbling across some degree of fetish porn: you might be curious enough to take a wander down a random path and find it lined with rubber trees, or catch a glimpse of a field of pony girls.

It’s pretty much inevitable that something weird and wonderful will catch your eye and you’ll end up looking for more, and then you’ll start googling related retail outlets. Which is precisely what I did in moments of horny boredom and when I had a little expendable income, as you know, I shopped. Like so many things, having tried one small slice of pie, you end up having another larger piece, but this time you try it with whipped cream, and the next with maple syrup, and all of a sudden you find you’re doing a whole lot of baking. So what have I picked from the sexual smörgåsbord .

I like light bondage, restraint, and playing with who’s in control. But only in the bedroom. Getting tied to the bed is great, as is tying someone else to the bed, strumming on their clit till they beg for you to stop, then strumming some more … until they use the safeword. But I have no interest in edge play, body bags, breath play etc. And once the victim is released and everyone’s got there clothes back on, then everyone is an equal: D/s does nothing for me as a lifestyle.

I like mild S&M. I like wearing things like ball stretchers – nothing heavy, nothing dangerous, and again nothing that is going to cause physiological damage. This has grown out of experiments with toys like Arab Straps, and has included male chastity devices, such as the CB6000. These could be classed as D/s to an extent, but again the control is only really of interest when sex is involved. Wounding is a definite no, and only the lightest of transient pain is acceptable – spanking can be fun, but I’m not a fan of bruises and welts. As with bondage, I like to switch – I have had a lot of fun when the jack boot has been on the other foot, and exploiting the relationship between pleasure and pain, along with fantasy and role play in the context of one of my former partners, and … well, there is a collection of stories I’m looking forward to sharing with you.

I like fetish wear. Leather and PVC, but mostly rubber. I like wearing it myself and I like my lover wearing it. The feel, the look, the process (this will doubtless need some explaining later), even the smell is incredibly evocative. Although fetishwear is associated with some weird and wonderful stuff, my interest is predominantly in the fabric rather than the culture of which it is a part. And when you start getting into gimp suits, hoods, inflatable etc, my interest wanes.

I like boots. Again, nothing earth shattering there – how many men don’t like to see a woman in a pair of thigh length PVC boots. The difference for me is that this is a borderline fetish for me. I’m not into foot worship, but I cannot ignore a woman in boots, and my mind turns to sex even if I see a good pair in a shop window. (Ok it doesn’t take much to turn my mind to sex, but hey!)

I like gloves. This also probably qualifies as a fetish for me in a similar way to boots. My favourites would have to be latex or velvet opera gloves, but driving gloves would come a close second.

I’m not a fan of the frilly things or fingerless gloves that frequently seem to crop up in porn – they just seem half hearted to me.

I like anal sex. Giving and receiving. Some of the best sex I’ve had has involved my hole being used in one way or another that nature did not entirely intend, and I can think of nothing finer than being on the pointy end of a strapon. Preferably something as stunning as a Share XL …

I guess most of these things are about what is forbidden, permitted by, and acceptable to society. Or at least while society isn’t hiding behind closed doors and reveling in depraved hypocrisy. For me it’s a bit about misbehaving, and a bit about exploring who I am without being told who I am allowed to be … and having fun in the process. Doubtless I’ve forgotten to mention a kink or two, but don’t worry, Dear Reader, I’m sure I’ll eulogize about it at some point and I will be expounding on the virtues of each of the above in the future, so you will learn just what it is that excites me about these things.

19 Responses to “I’m a kinky little thing … apparently”

  1. I don’t know why but I could never read your last post and I got all worried about you. I’m happy to see you are back in the saddle and not busted….I’m getting a tad bit worried about that for myself. Plus it sucks to not be able to talk about my new hobby…more than 300 people have read my blog. I feel celebrity coming on strong. Soon I will be a household name….like kleenex. LOL Try to repost (?) Hairless Protest because it doesn’t work…it says “error”. Bonne soirée!

    • Fret not. I’m still operating covertly. I delete the last post. It will appear in a different form soon.
      Can I get your autograph before you get too famous?

    • Maybe in one hundred years when we are both really famous (Gillian already is!) teachers will say in high school English classes, “They already knew each other well before they became the legends that they are now.” I love that idea!

  2. Great post. It’s great to know that there are other people out there that like to be kinky, but don’t want to be bruised, electrocuted, super extreme… One thing that I have contemplated for a while is when the kink becomes your reality. I like to be spanked. A lot. I also like butt plugs. A lot. But I don’t want to have my ass filled and smacked everytime I fuck. But I know a girl who can’t cum unless she’s getting choked. I don’t think it would be as exciting, as hot and sexy, if it happens everytime. Do you even enjoy it as much? I don’t know. I love cheesecake, but I’d get tired of it if I ate it everyday. Sorry for the mini-rant!

  3. Gillian Colbert Says:

    “Less than vanilla” is a bit of an understatement, friend, but that could just be compared to my slightly pink over here. I think I’m strongly on the kink side … I can’t think of anything that would qualify as a fetish for me.

  4. Gillian Colbert Says:

    Yes, you’re reading that right. I might have to ride your coat tails and do my own post 😉 … I’m feeling almost dared!

  5. The kinkiest I’ve ever gotten is being stuffed by two men at once and some hard spanking. I’m open to bondage, but nothing too elaborate. But… we’ll see.

  6. workspousestory Says:

    That explains your extensive recommendations… kudos to you 😉

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