Really? What is the point?

Those of you who’ve been with me from the start, or have chosen to dig back through the archive, will know I bought my Wife underwear for Xmas. About £200’s worth of bra, briefs, thong, torselette, suspended belt and stockings. Nearly 8 weeks later I have only seen her wear the bra and briefs once. I have seen the briefs in the laundry twice more and the thong once. The rest still has the tags on or is still in the packaging.

I wonder why I bothered.

Today is Valentine’s Day.
As I hung the laundry out to dry the other day, I noticed the lace on the briefs was suffering the ravages of the washing machine already. I checked the care lable and it says they should be washed in a laundry bag which, with hindsight is not unreasonable. So I bought her another pair for Valentines, lest the briefs disintegrated before the rest has even been worn. (I have also said I’d buy Her tickets to see Her favourite theatre company who have a big show in a few weeks time.)

Today is Valenine’s Day.
I was awake 2hrs before She was, and an hour before I remembered it was Valentines Day. It’s not going to be a special day anyway. By a conspiracy of circumstance, all the grandparents are descending on us independently this evening, from hundreds of miles away, so there will be no momentous celebrations. And for various reasons, any of them babysitting while my Wife and i have some Us Time will not be an option. In the hour I had out of bed before remembering the date, I jerked off on the sofa with images of naked strangers on the laptop, and then subbed a sex blog post. What does that say about our marriage? Don’t answer that.

Anyway, I heard Her head for the shower, so scurried back upstairs to put her card and present on her pillow. She had already placed a card on my pillow. A glimmering hint of romance. We opened our respective cards. My gifts to Her were explained. (Although I told her that I wanted the briefs to last long enough to see the rest of her Xmas present worn, I did my best to do so in a way that did not place blame.)

As I headed towards the shower, the following conversation ensued:
Her : I thought about wearing my underwear today but. (The implication being, as she has explained before, that she’s going to work today, so it would be a waste of effort.)
Me : I think you’re missing the point.
Her : I don’t think I am.
Me : Ok, I think you’re missing my point.
She reached for my arm but I was already half way through the doorway and quite frankly, I was neither surprised, not cared, so I kept walking.

What was the point of buying her underwear? Really? What was the point? I’ll tell you.

I bought her underwear to tell her I still think she’s sexy. Ok, she’s not most of the time. She’s a middle aged woman dressed in frumpy underwear, a baggy sweater and jeans, and has apparently little interest in sex. Most of the time she is not sexy. But She can be. If her head is in the right place she can be. And I like it when She is. I want Her to be sexy. For me. For Her. She doesn’t need to be sexy all the time, but why the hell shouldn’t She be sexy at work? Why shouldn’t She wear sexy underwear to the office? It’s not for Her colleagues. It’s not like they’ll know. But I will. Even if she’s not in the same county, I’ll know She’s wearing it and She’ll be sexy. I’m not deluding myself that She’ll ever sneak into the office toilets, take Her smart phone out and send me a picture of Her lovely tits cupped in lace. That will never happen. Never. And I’m ok with that. Or ok enough. But She doesn’t see that. So really? What is the point?

Today is Valentine’s day.
Really? What is the point?

22 Responses to “Really? What is the point?”

  1. There isn’t one. All it does is create extra pressure that frankly, could be done without x

  2. AM, sorry buddy. But she’s got to realize that she can be sexy for herself. Wear sexy panties to work and feel a little bit naughty. She needs to want it. Based on your writings, she has her moments, moments when she lets go and enjoys sex and is willing to let go… She needs to find a way to embrace that and make it everyday…

  3. Little Miss Says:

    I wish someone would buy me sexy underwear!

  4. Gillian Colbert Says:

    I’m sorry … I’ve been worrying about you. She has to be on board with you, and it’s got to be hard feeling like your going at this alone. As much as I/We are all here for you, your wife is letting you down in meeting you half way. I hope your counseling session was useful.

    Part of me wants to have a serious talk with your wife! It’s not fair to force you to carry all of the burden.

    Stay strong, m’dear.

  5. There is a point. And that point is simple. You are not giving up. And that is a good thing.

    Hopefully, she one day sees it that way.

  6. Your marriage sounds like my worst nightmare.

    I would like to think I’d be filing for divorce already if I was in your shoes, but I also take into the account that their are kid/kids involved as well as many years worth of emotions entwined that makes such a decisive solution.

    That’s why most Men in your situation would now cheat.

    It sounds like your Wife may have self-esteem and confidence issues that she needs to address first and foremost.

    Have you thought about life as a Single Man again? Does it scare you, does it excite you?

    • I’m not really interested in divorce. I married my Wife because I liked Her. I probably still do. Most of what you have read is nothing new, the only difference being that I am now writing about it. If I can live with it for 10yrs I can live with it for another 40.

      Divorce? Cheating? Escorts? Being single? Yes I’ve thought about them all. And I’m still here. That either makes me fiercely loyal, admirably optimistic, honourably noble, stupid or a coward. But it matters not which label is used. I am still here and do not expect to not be.

    • Shit, forget your wife. It sounds like you need your self esteem and confidence looked into.

      I would highly recommend ‘Depresculinity’ by Men’s Psychology/Dr.Paul Debronksy

      Look for a download if you can’t afford it, there’s some out there and it’s very, very, beneficial.

    • Thanks for your concern Loki, and the recommendation, but my self esteem and confidence are just fine thanks. Really.
      (Though I shall have at least a quick look at that book.)
      I make my decisions based on far more information than I share here, and you can safely assume I do so with my own best interests in mind.

  7. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress Says:

    Feeling sexy comes from inside. You can try to help her feel that way, encourage her, make her know you see her in a different light. Unfortunately, if she isn’t ready to see herself differently then it will continue to be frustrating for you. I’m sorry for your frustration!

  8. Perhaps “sexy” underwear isn’t a thing that makes her feel sexy? I know it dosnt change much for me unless I’ve got someone to suprise. And in all honesty, Im a young size 8 chick and even with that im still body-conscious!

    Maybe you could just ask her what makes her feel sexy and if her answer is vague, ask her to remember the last time she felt sexy. This might give you some more ideas on how to make ‘your point’. I know for me, it’s all about being crept up on in the shower before work and just having a morning kiss under hot water 😉

    • You’re suggesting we communicate? If I laugh, it is not at your expense or from ingratitude for the suggestion, but at the preposterousness of the suggestion that a married couple should talk in any meaningful way.
      Welcome to my blog.

    • Accidental… I’ve missed you!!

    • And I’ve missed you too L-S&M, you gloriously insatiable angel of horniness.
      I’m afraid I’ve been very busy over the last couple of weeks – regrettably too busy to blog – and I’m sorry to say it may well stay that way for another two or three weeks yet.
      But rest assured, my absence is in no way connected to the content of this blog, and I will return, as debauched and frustrated as ever, just as soon as logistically possible.

  9. And we’ll all be here… Waiting patiently… 🙂 Good luck dear!

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