Spanking the monkey with a Monkey Spanker (TM)

As soon as I first saw the Monkey Spanker, I thought, there’s a piece of plastic I want to stick my dick in. So I bought one. Then …

… well, it’s a bit of a long story, and unfortunately it is no longer possible for me to endorse the Monkey Spanker on this page.

If you would like to read my review of this sex toy, to find out whether it’s the best male masturbator ever, or the worst piece of junk you could buy for your junk, click here and request a password and then, assuming you are a regular reader of my blog, click here to find out whether sticking my dick in a Monkey Spanker was as good as the manufacturers would have you believe

17 Responses to “Spanking the monkey with a Monkey Spanker (TM)”

  1. Thanks for that. I feel both informed and entertained. πŸ˜‰ You’re right that the purple one does look nice. The only thing that bothers me about this is it looks like one of those devices used to measure out portions of spaghetti… Or is it just me?

  2. Gillian Colbert Says:

    Do you plan to spank the monkey at the pool? Might we actually get some vicarious gratification if you do?

    P.S. I found this very “energizing” to read for some odd reason πŸ˜‰

  3. Great review Accidental… Have you ever considered doing it for real (reviews, I mean)? Unless I’m on a BDSM toy site, the reviews tend to be primarily from women… And I don’t know about your side of the ocean, but here there are sites that will give you free products for an honest review… Just a thought. I like the monkey spanker. I like the little animation. I just don’t think M would ever use anything like that… Anybody with suggestions out there on how to make it happen, I’d love to hear them!

    • Would be happy to write reviews for free stuff. Not sure where to start though.
      Sounds like you need to work on your relationship if M’s not allowing you to explore your sexual desires πŸ˜‰

  4. is a site I write reviews for, but I’m not sure if they would ship overseas for free. But check it out. Or google it… I’ll check it out and see if I can find anything for you in your neck of the woods.

    Ha! M just likes his hand. A lot. I don’t see him taking the time to master a toy that is simply for him…

  5. […] or a rabbit or a butterfly, then it is damn sure okay for you to have a Fleshlight or a Monkey Spanker. Β Time to do away with the double standards people. Β They run both […]

  6. Monkey spanker sounds intriguing. I’ve never used one – but you’ve definitely piqued my curiosity.

  7. Purple! πŸ™‚

    You make my penis envy surge. What I wouldn’t give to know how it feels ti have a cock…


    • … and what I wouldn’t give to know how it feels to have a cunt. “I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours …” … oh, what the hell , I’m really not bothered if I do … πŸ˜‰

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