A question of mutual desire

As so often, this morning I woke early with a turgid member, and an urge to hammer it into my Wife’s dripping cunt. Guess what. That’s right, Dear Reader, it didn’t happen. Inevitably I woke before She did, but getting out of bed did disturb her a little. As I usually try to, I made sure my hard-on was as casually visible to her as possible as I quietly walked round our bed, picked up some clothes, and went downstairs for breakfast. With my throbbing cock still twitching and jiggling, I walked naked around the kitchen, fed the cat, and made my tea and toast. Then I got dressed an caught up on a little pervy blogging.

An hour or so later, I heard my Wife getting out of the shower and I headed upstairs to ask what She’d like for breakfast. We decided She’d sort it out Herself whilst I, having not yet showered (so as not to wake Her with the sound of our plumbing) attended to my own ablutions. She was still only partially dressed – black and white striped bra, black lace boy-shorts panties (why, oh why, oh why, would anyone ever not wear matching lingerie? It never ceases to baffle and frustrate me!) and as I watched her putting on her T-shirt, in the wake of Show-er, I made a point of looking at Her body. I looked at Her cleavage, the line where Her thigh meets Her mound, and the shaddow of Her bush visible through the black lace. (Have I ever told you how much I’d love to shave Her pussy for Her? On a scale of 1 to 10, I think we’re talking about a 14!) I looked slowly, and it is just possible She noticed me fucking Her with my eyes. (I was a long way past undressing her with my eyes!) Nothng was said, and as I stood up from the bed, she stepped forward and we had a brief hug. This is unusual in itself, and was a possible sign of progress, or even amorous intent. My dick started to grow, but although my crotch was pressed against Her belly, the clinch was brief, and I suspect She was unaware of my expansion. And we moved apart, but our eyes met briefly, before we both averted our respective gazes.

I hadn’t bothered to put on any underwear earlier, knowing that a) I would soon have a shower and b) I like going commando more often than is practicable. I made a point of getting undressed infront of Her. I made a point of standing so She would see me in profile. I made a point of fantasising about Her writhing body impaled on my sex, just to maintain my semi. I made a point of standing up straight, holding in my stomach a little and clenching my PC muscles, so as to enhance my sillouhette. As She did Her early morning stretches, bending over, I made a point of shuffling around Her, facing towards Her, so my partially engorged genitals passed within a foot of Her face (though I did this as casually as possible, and I’m not sure She actually noticed, but you’ve got to try). And I had my shower.

I knew She would still be in the bedroom for a while – She still had to finish Her stretches and getting dressed. I washed more quickly than usual, occasionally stroking my cock and day-dreaming of returning to the bedroom and finding Her naked on our bed, legs spread wide, torturing Her own nipples with pinches and twist, and Her fist thrusting into Her muff. Obviously this was never going to happen, but I wanted to maintain my boner and get it back in front of Her before She went downstairs and I fell flaccid.

When I returned to our room, hastily and ineffectively towelled, She was still there. I dressed as slowly as possibly without being conspicuous. I again stood so She could see how horny I was. And again we said nothing of consequence. Our eyes did not meet. And I am in no way certain my efforts were not entirely for my own titillation. But you never know.

Yes it would have been better to grope Her ass, bury my face between Her tits, or take Her hand in mine and wrap it around my shaft. Yes it would have been better to tell her, point blank, I wanted to bury my face in Her twat and my cock in Her mouth. That I wanted to fuck Her so loudly the neighbours blushed. That I wanted to taste our mingled juices as they trickled down from Her slit to Her anus But do not forget our marriage is neither fully functional, not has it been so much as consummated for months. And one day, when I have worked my way far enough through telling you of the notches on my bed-post that I can tell you all about my Wife’s sexuality, you will understand quite how unlikely this ever will be.

And as I type this, I can feel the regular dribble of pre-cum lubricating my foreskin, and my prostate and balls ache sufficiently that I have had to take pain killers. I could so easily go for a wank. Fuck knows I need to blow my wad! But just in case She wants to drain my seed for me, just in case She wants me to flood Her tight hole with jizz, just in case she wants to watch my face contort as my orgasm spasms inside her, I shall bear the pain and save my semen for Her.

20 Responses to “A question of mutual desire”

  1. ” That I wanted to fuck Her so loudly the neighbors blushed”…this is what I want too. Don’t lose hope AM. Although I think I have.


    • My opinion? If you’ve lost hope, you should tell him.

    • I guess I have lost hope in the sexual relationship I wanted to have with him. Not in him as a person. At this point I don’t really even think that sex and love have all that much to do together…how cynical. I’d like the two of them.

    • I assume you’ve considered one emotional relationship and a entirely separate sexual one? I know it’s an obvious question and no doubt it’s been covered before, but if he doesn’t want to have a sexual relationship with you, if he knows of your need for one, does he object to you having sex with someone else … assuming it would be purely sexual?

  2. Accidential (and Dawn too), it makes my heart hurt to see you is such relationships. You are a better man than I, because if I was in your shoes, there would be no stopping me from stroking her ass, brushing her with my cock (if I were to have one), and grabbing her hair and shoving it down her throat. It might end up bad, but I don’t think I would have the self control that you do… I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for you dear, hoping that one morning you wake up with her bouncing on your cock like a rabid woman!!

    • Thanks, but please don’t assume She’s never bounced up and down on my cock like a rabid woman – She has, occasionally, though probably not as rabidly as you might.

      As for if you were in my shoes, whilst i appreciate the sentiment, that assumes I was like you and She was like M. It’s a bit like me saying if I were a woman I’d never go a day without stuffing at least one of my holes with cock(s) or asking what’s it like to never have had a sexual urge?

      Jeez, I’m starting to sound like a bloody shrink. Sorry. I think I need to sit down with a box of tissues and a hard core porn movie. 🙂

  3. Gillian Colbert Says:

    I don’t know what to say, luv.

    Hugs … GC

    • Thanks. But am I the only one to see some positives in this? I’ll need to reread it.

    • Gillian Colbert Says:

      I see positives, but at the same time I see both of you not just taking that final step … hence, “I don’t know what to say” … for me anyway.

      You two remind me of me and my guy back in the day when I was WAY to inhibited to do anything about the erection he would wave in my face. Not understanding that he wanted some affirmation too.

      Either way … I still say “hugs”


    • What do you think it was that brought about such a pronounced change?

    • Gillian Colbert Says:

      Can you clarify? Pronounced change in whom?

    • Your change from “way too inhibited” to BDSM blogger. (If you regard that as a change.)

    • Gillian Colbert Says:

      Ahh! I read an erotica book by mistake. I thought it was a traditional romance and it wasn’t but by the time I figured it out I was half way done with the book, dripping wet and feeling as if I’d just figured out exactly what had been “wrong” with me all these years.

      After devouring a tremendous amount of erotica and being unhappy with the quality of the writing, I decided to try my hand at it. The blog was an outgrowth of the short stories and novella because I had lots of questions and thoughts around BDSM and a blog seemed like the natural outlet.

      Blogging has been instrumental in dropping my inhibitions. Were that me in that situation the way I am now .. you’d have been on your back getting ridden like a Lipizzaner Stallion. What’s the point of denying sexual urges, especially within a marriage? But that’s after 24 years of inhibited sex and lots of reading, thinking and writing.

    • I see.
      I was naïvely hoping to use your transformation as an inspiration to help engineer a possible epiphany for my Wife. Fool that I am. But as She’s not really a fan of romantic literature, I doubt that’s gonna work.
      Never mind.

      To use your analogy, I long to be ridden like a Lipizzaner stallion again, but sometimes I feel like I might as well have been gelded and am just pulling a dray, or hacking round a Thelwellian gymkhana ring. Oh well, maybe I’ll yet put out to stud before I’m lead to the glue factory 😉

    • Gillian Colbert Says:

      Maybe you just need to break through your own reticence. Next time, grab her. What can get worse? You’re not fucking now…

      I personally think your wife is very like me, she’s controlling the sexual aspect of her/your life to compensate for other areas of insecurity. But you two stay in this stasis. Omelettes don’t get made without breaking eggs and one of you is going to have to change to get this ball rolling.

      I sound preachy, and I don’t mean it that way, I just look back on all the time I wasted and don’t want to see anyone else do the same. Life goes by so quickly.

    • Eggs. Omelettes. So true, so true.

      The risk I am aware of that surrounds first moves, especially overt, blunt, first moves, is that they could erase the possibility of second moves.

      I’m not sure She is knowingly controlling the sexual failure we share. If anything, I am. She runs away from it. I turn my back on it. There’s a degree of frame of reference, I know, but …

      My current thought is that, at our next counselling session, I might try and shoe-horn sex into the conversation. So far, it’s been the large grey dildo in the room.

    • Gillian Colbert Says:

      That sounds like a beginning … as always, I want only the best for you and send all my hopeful thoughts your direction.


  4. I always try to steer clear of offering advice because there’s much I’m not privy to… But you make my neither region ache as if I had blue balls too. Make it go away… It hurts!!! Sending all the empathy I can as a woman.

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