Super sex

Of all the superheroes to have been peeled off the pages of Marvel and DC comics and thrust onto the silver screen in glorious live-action, very few seem to have had an obvious sex life. Admittedly Mr Fantastic and the Invisible Woman are married with two kids, so they’ve obviously got jiggy a couple of times. And Superman and Lois Lane are perpetually dating, but as Brodie observes to TS in Mallrats, they couldn’t possible have sex: Superman probably blows his load like a shotgun and would blast right through Lois’ back. The only superhero fucking I can think of is in the 2009 version of Watchmen where The Comedian tries to rape (the first) Silk Spectre and later Silk Spectre II (her daughter) and Night Owl fuck on his sofa after saving a bunch civilians from a burning building. Well you would, wouldn’t you?!

But I’d suggest that Superheroes are actually just as horny and kinky as the rest of society. How many superheroes wear fetish gear? Most of them! I’ve already mentioned Silk Spectre and her latex outfit, then there’s Batman with his anatomically correct rubber suit, Spiderman in a fully hooded gimp suit, and Catwoman with a bullwhip and PVC catsuit (of course) … or less.

But recently, conclusive proof has come to my attention that, just like the rest of us, when superheros aren’t getting laid, they need some relief. And just like the rest of us, the best way they know to let off a little steam after a long hard day battling the forces of evil, is to have a quick …

3 Responses to “Super sex”

  1. Gillian Colbert Says:

    Hilarious

  2. dawninflux Says:

    🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: