Evidently Fuckin’ town

If you’ve never heard of John Cooper Clarke, make the effort to acquaint yourself with his work. He is the quintessential punk poet, and one of his most famous poems is Evidently Chicken Town.
Be warned, the language is quite strong, and his accent might be a little hard work for some folk outside the UK, but it’s an awesome poem.

And here is my perversion of this classic:

There’s fucking girls and fucking boys
Using fucking bodies as fucking toys
Every fucking cunt’s fucked a hundred tools
Every fucking hole. No fucking rules
They fuck in beds, on the fucking floor
Given half a chance they’ll fuck outdoors
They fuck till their skin is fucking raw
You can bet your ass their’s is fucking sore
They fucking grind and fucking pound
Evidently Fuckin’ Town

The fucking girls like fucking dick
If it’s fucking hard and fucking thick
With fucking thrusts so fucking deep
So fucking fast they fucking weep
When they fucking cum they fucking scream
So keep fucking Friend, till you shoot your cream
Till fucking juice runs down fucking thighs
And tears of lust fill your fucking eyes
Till fucking jiz drips from shaven mound
In the sleazy dives of Fuckin’ Town

The fucking boys just wanna fuck
Every fucking day with fucking luck
They’re fucking taught that’s a real man’s role
‘Cos any fucking hole’s a fucking goal
Their fucking cum’s sprayed every where
On fucking tits, in fucking hair
Catching fucking AIDS is beyond belief
They should’ve fucking worn a sheath.
The fucking studs all gather round
To fuck the tramps in Fuckin’ Town

We’ve got fucking chains and fucking whips
And fucking clamps on fucking nips
And fucking cuffs and fucking ropes
Just strap us up, have a fucking grope
Tie our fucking feet to our fucking hands
Give your fucking Sub fuck me! demands
You can fucking plead but you won’t be heard
Lest you fucking know the safety word
The fucking slaves don’t make a fucking sound
It’s evidently Fuckin’ Town

There are fucking whores with fucking pimps
And fucking Doms and their fucking gimps
There are fucking sluts and fucking pervs
All stimulating fucking nerves
They’re fucking straight, and fucking queer
All out and proud, no fucking fear
Of fucked up zealots and fucked up laws
Why should fucking sex be a fucking chore
With open mouths we’re all going down
All giving head in Fuckin’ Town

2 Responses to “Evidently Fuckin’ town”

  1. Wow. That is well put together. It reminds me of the Hawaiian word “da kine.” Only da kine has no meaning on it’s own, it’s a placeholder word.

    • Thanks. I can’t take credit for the style. Clarkie is a far better poet than me.
      I like the idea of a phrase that doesn’t mean anything on its own but I’m not sure I understand. Can you use “da kine” in a sentence?

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