Say what you mean. Mean what you say

My insomnia is back. Not in a a big way yet, but I’ve not had a decent nights sleep in over a week and this morning I was awake at 5:20am. About 2hrs before I needed to be. As I lay in bed, my dick stood attentively as it always does at such times, I gave it a little stroke, but not so much as to wake my Wife.

10min later and it was plain I wasn’t getting back to sleep so I got out of bed and went downstairs. In such circumstances I frequently jerk myself off at the kitchen table whilst reading pervy blogs or perusing LMNB, but not today. I just felt too damn tired and in need of a caffeine saturated hot beverage. I needed a wank as well, but frankly I couldn’t be bothered.

When the rest of the house finally woke I went back upstairs and found my Wife getting our kid dressed. The following conversation ensued:

Her: How are you doing?
Me: [grunt]
Her: Awake beofre 6 again?
Me: Yeah.
Her: There’s only one solution.
Me: [quizzical look]
Her: There’s only one thing that makes you sleep.
[I thought: Yes, I know that, having a wank or a fuck at bed time, but lets face it, that’s not on the cards, is it?]
Me: What’s that?
Her: Early nights.
Me: No! [Genuine indignation.]
[I thought: How the hell is going to bed earlier going to stop me waking up early!?]
Her: Euphemistic early nights.
[I thought: Strange! “Euphemistic early nights.” Does She really mean She intends to fuck me to sleep?]
Me: You’ve lost me.
Her: I’ll tell you later.
[I thought: Really? Wow!]

All of a sudden I was quite glad I hadn’t just flushed my ductus deferens. Quite glad I’ve not done so for several days.

As I type this a few hourss later, my Wife has gone to work and I’m still in a slight state of shock. Inevitably She hasn’t told me later yet, and although it would be hornier than an Styracosaurus in heat, I’ll bet you the contents of Bernie Madoff’s secret Swiss bank account that She will not be texting her intentions to me, nor the sort of photos Liam showed me last night. If only … sweet sticky dreams … if only! (If you’ve read that post and this doesn’t make sense, there’s been an update you may have missed.)

And all this may yet come to nothing. But if I’m not much mistaken, I can justifiably expect to fuck my Wife tonight. And courtesy of the last few days abstinence and recent empirical proof, She can justifiably expect to have a whole load of my cum oozing out of Her well pounded cunt and lubricating her thighs as well. Fuck! I’m horny now. (And for those with access to my Members Only posts, this is how horny!)

I know it’s probably bad karma, but now I’m rehearsing conversations in my head :
Yes, having a wank at bedtime will probably help.
Oh, you meant you think you should fuck me?
Excelent. Bend over.
Ooooh, yeaaaah. Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! What? Sorry I’ll stop. I can’t concentrate on emptying my balls into your cunt and talk at the same time. Not these days anyway. I’m too out of practice at talking dirty whilst fucking. What were you saying?
True, an orgasm a day certainly kept my insomnia at bay for 20 years or so.
Oh, didn’t you realise I tugged one off every day?
Yes. Actually more than daily. For years I had at least 2, most days,
Oh yeah. Sometimes 3 or 4. But I don’t think ever more than 7 or 8. Nothing excessive.
Is it a lot? Really? [Mock shock.] How often do you masturbate then?
Honestly? Never? How? Don’t you know how to?
Well if you’d just give me half a chance I can show you.
Of course I can show you how to wank me. That’s not what I mean. I can show you how to wank yourself, if you’d just chill out and let me near your pussy for once.
Yeah, I’m reliably informed I’m really quite good at it.
And oral. I’m one of the best at that. Apparently. I can show you.
Hmmm … hmmm … hmmm …
Damn you taste good.
Hmmm … hmmm … hmmm …
Oh, yeah, I thought you’d like that. It’s called rimming.
Oh you’ll love anal. But we can try that later. Now where was I. Oh yes …
Hmmm … hmmm … hmmm … hmmm … hmmmmmmmmmmm, hm!
See. Told you.
etc … etc … etc …

It’s not going to happen that way. Obviously. But I might try to drop some of it into the post coital conversation tonight. As I lie back with my crotch soaked in Her juices and a grin on my face. Just before I have the best nights sleep I’ve had in ages.

And even if She fuckes me tonight and insomnia still plagues me, I shall lie still, and quiet. I shall not let her know I am sleepless. If it takes my insomnia to get Her to fuck me, so be it. I don’t mind a little white lie.

12 Responses to “Say what you mean. Mean what you say”

  1. Good luck, AM xx Hy

  2. I hope she means what you think she means. It seems to be going that way …in a drawn out way. P.S. I would love to see toyr members only posts if I may. I did get a password a while ago. May I have another please?

  3. Coy. Can I just say as one frequently un-fucked husband to another, I hate coy! Coy is fun if it is followed up by… well, by “fun” damnit! “Maybe later” usually = never.

  4. deviantdiaries Says:

    I’m still catching up on my reading…hope all went well. How does one get a password…do I qualify :)?

  5. Oh…. That LMNB site is awesome… Never seen that one before. Thanks for that “suggestion”

    • It’s not quite as good as it used to be as some of it doesn’t work any more (logins, search, see other pics from user, show straight/gay/lesbian/male/female), or at least not for me. But if you’re into amateur porn there’s plenty to get your cock hard.

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