Bollocks!!!!!

After Oops!, my pubes have grown back. And as ever I’ve taken my eye off the ball (pun intended!) and I have a hairy bush again. Well, hairy for me anyway – my pubes are probably about ¾” long. Hardly a forest I know, but when it comes to my man fuzz, I far prefer a neatly trimmed suburban hedge to untamed scrubland.

So I phoned Zoe to make an appointment.
– Sorry, you have dialled incorrectly. Please hang up and try again.
Strange. I’d used the contact stored in my phone and had not dialled manually. Ok, try again.
– Sorry, you have dialled incorrectly. Please hang up and try again.
Odd. I know Zoe was having staffing problems and has opened a second salon nearer her home, about an hour’s drive away, but surely she’s not closed the salon. Try the website.
– Website under construction.
This is not looking good.
Thankfully the last time Zoe had ripped the hairs from my cock and balls and ass, she had given me the number of the other salon, just in case I had issues booking in future. So I called it.
– Hello, Zoe’s new salon. How can I help.
– Hi, I was wanting to book an appointment with Zoe at her other salon but I can’t get through on the phone.
– Ah, the other salon went into liquidation a couple of months ago…

Bollocks!
Big hairy bollocks!!
Big hairy bollocks and sweaty arse cracks!!!
Big hairy sweaty bollocks and sweaty hairy arse cracks!!!!
(Obviously I’m using the afore mentioned body parts purely as profanity, and not to describe my own physical state. Despite the currently hirsute nature of my own dangley bits.)

It seems Zoe’s staffing problems couldn’t be resolved and her first salon has fallen victim to the economic climate.
I’m genuinely disappointed for her, but also I’m disappointed to have lost a good local salon. And it leaves me with a dilemma – do I now opt for …

  1. a 2½hr round trip by road to Zoe’s new salon
  2. a 1¾hr round trip and a rail fare to visit one of the city centre salons I used to go to, and pay nearly 60% more to get waxed, or…
  3. hope I can find a new salon locally

Option 1 is far from ideal as it’s going to take up most of a morning and just be a pain in the arse. (This pun, not intended.)
Option 2 isn’t that much more convenient and is significant;y more expensive.
Which leaves me with Option 3. Having moved out of The Big Smoke and into a dormitory town a few years ago, I had one hell of a job finding a salon that was prepared to handle testicles. Nowhere local seemed to offer a BCS wax. So my hopes weren’t high. I’d had to phone numerous salons and the few that did male waxing would only do arms, legs and torso. A couple said yes, they did everything, but as soon as they were pressed, it turned out they didn’t understand the meaning of the word everything. Afer weeks and weeks of searching, I finally stumbled upon a website that advertised training for beauty therapists wanting to do male waxing, and that led me ultimately to Zoe.

But I didn’t have high hopes of finding another local salon prepared to tackle my tackle.

Fortunately the 3yrs or so that I’ve been getting waxed by Zoe have seen some changes. Obviously more men must be getting their under carriage exfoliated, as it turns out there are now 3 local salons offering full body male waxing, including what seems to now be termed intimate waxing.

The closest (geographically) looked good, until I recognised the photo of the shop front: it shares a building I used to work at. (The site of An unusual day at work.) A little to much potential for crossing the paths with former colleagues, as titillating as it might be to bump into Julie as I walked out of a male waxing salon. No, strike that from the list. The second closest salon looks good though: reasonably close, well priced and the (professionally taken advertising) photos look good. And with a hint of pervy interest, I noticed that it only seems to mention female staff. (I have no particular issue with men touching my genitals – I’ve been there and done that numerous times –  and despite the fact that men know far better the need to be gentle with delicate baubles, in my experience they do seem to be a little rougher when it comes to waxing. And it’s always nice to have a woman handling the goods.)

So I sent a regretful email to Zoe, lamenting the closing of her salon, and wishing her the best. I shall miss her, in an odd sort of way.

As of this morning I’ve booked a waxing for the end of next week at a new salon, about 20min ride away. The website claimed to do male intimate waxing, and indeed the online price list included Speedo, Brazilian and Hollywood. Thankfully when I spoke to them, they turned out to be just she – Caroline – who works from a treatment room in her own home. She sounds friendly, professional and confirmed that she does know the meaning of everything.

Putting your delicates in the hands o f someone new is always interesting, so fingers crossed, but rest assured I shall keep you informed.

15 Responses to “Bollocks!!!!!”

  1. Wishing you luck at your waxing 😉 hope this new saloon as good as you hope.

    • Thanks. I do wonder whether I should opt for someting conservative, like a Speedo. for the first time. Just to make sure Caroline is as good as she sounds. But I have been wondering about an El Diablo for a while. Decisions … decision …

    • Personally I like either of you choices, Maybe ask your fine lady which she would prefer to see.

      I am sure whatever style you choose you should feel happy with, it is all down to personal choice after all and what you feel comfortable with.

      Others can have an opinion, but if you not happy with the way it looks then there is not much point is there?

    • My Fine Lady has only ever once commented on my pubes. Years ago she asked whether I “shaved down there”, which I acknowledged (although on that occasion I had recently been waxed). Nothing more was said, and the subject has never been raised since. Not even on the few occasions I’ve had a Hollywood.
      For me, as long as my pubes are short and significantly neater than my genes dictate, I’m happy. My decision is usually based on whim … or the beautician getting carried away!

    • Your fine lady sounds a lot like myself, as no preference over my partner’s pubic area either.

      Although, I must admit it is nice to see a man who take as much care of that area as us girls do.

    • Ha ha. You read sex blogs and therfore mark yourself out as nothing like my Fine Lady. But there in lies a tale.

    • I read a lot different type of blogs not all concerning sex hehe, my interests are many and wide.

    • I didn’t mean to suggest they weren’t. (I’ve just been looking at your blog.) But my point stands. I can’t imagine my Wife going anywhere near a sex blog. Ever.

    • Lol ah I see what you mean now sorry.

      I am just like reading, exploring and understanding my subject matter better.

      Even asking people nicely permission to reblog their writings hehe.

  2. The illustration is so helpful! I’ve never seen those choices before. I like El Diablo.

    • I made up most of the names myself, and half the shapes there are my own designs – I’ve never seen them on the menu. But they do illustrate that pubic hair doeen’t have to be boring. 😉
      I probably won’t get an El Diablo this time. In my experience it’s very rare to have someone else wax me and get the shape symetrical, so I often opt for something more conservative and do the final shaping myelf at home. (I’ve only ever been waxed by one person that took the trouble to get all the hairs around my anus too, which is another reason for a DIY finish.)

    • Great job on the illustration! I’d have no idea at all that you did it yourself. Clever ideas, concepts and names.

      For plastic surgury, the patient stands and they mark the body up before they are in the operating theater. You could do the same. Mark the points and the curve while in front of a mirror. If your camera has a grid display you can use it to double check.

      For the anus, do you use wax? The difficulty of that area would be the number one reason I’d pay someone!

      I am curious though, why not an epilator for all of your pubes? It rips the hairs out, is cheaper, and more convenient.

    • You’ve just given me an idea for some illustration fun.
      Hair around my anus is one of the reasons I get someone else to do the waxing. Another is something that is peculiar to men: while the skin around a pussy is naturally reasonably taught it’s not on a cock and sack. The beauticians I’ve been waxed by have invariably asked me to pull my dick or scrotum in one or more directions, just to keep the skin tight, while they aply and remove the wax. It’s really difficult to do those bits with one pair of hands, and it’s not that much easier with an epilator: if the skin is at all slack it’s very easy to get it caught by an epilator. You can probably guess the consequences!
      I do have a couple of epilators which I use to finish the job off. They mostly get used around my crack and hole, as that’s far easier than wax. But I tend to use microwave wax above my dick as the skin is naturally tighter and wax gets the hair out quicker, more effectively and more comfortably.

  3. […] I suggested a few possible styles for pubic topiary back in Bolocks!!!!!, there were several voices amongst your number. Dear Reader, who suggested I should go for an El […]

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