DLS #10 : Life laundry

There comes a time when you look at all the stuff you have in your house and realise it’s time to do some life laundry. To get rid of the pile of trade magazines you always meant to harvest interesting articles from, the T-shirts that no longer cover your ageing gut, and the old hi-fi that mostly works but has only seen service as door stop for the last 5yrs. It’s time to de-clutter.

I’m currently going through this process and am making a pile for eBay, a pile for the charity shop, and a pile for the recycling centre.

My initial target is the chest of drawers with most of my clothes in and the number of casualties will be high. Which leaves me with a slight problem. The bottom drawer is, unsurprisingly, the one most full of random junk, and it’s become really quite full and a comlete mess. Which has made it a convenient place to hide some of my sex toys; notably my Fleshlight, Monkey Spanker, CB6000s and Fun Factory Booty. Clearing out the unwanted items from this drawer makes it a lot harder to hide toys and there is an increased risk of them being found. (There’s a chance that might be a beneficial catalyst, but that’s not a risk I’m prepared to take at the moment.)

I could move all my toys to my little wooden chest of naughty secrets, if only that wasn’t straining at the hinges at the moment as well. Though I can do some life laundry here too, as amongst other perversities, I also have some old porn mags I’ve not jerked off over for a fery long time (to be recycled), and several dirty movies on old VHS cassettes (now there’s a tautology if ever I heard one!) and these either need binning, or transferring to a hard drive. (I regret to say there are no home made skin flicks of me and my exes getting down and dirty – they may still exist, but sadly I do not have them.) My pornos include Emmanuelle, Fritz the Cat, Flesh Gordon, The Erotic Adventures of the Three Musketeers, and Cleopatra. There’s also a handful of DVDs, including The Good Old Naughty Days, Streetheat, and a couple of hentai films – The Room Mate Vol.1, and La Blue Girl Returns – all of which can easily be transferred to free up space.

In contrast, there’s one item the clear out will help me make more obvious: my old PVC jeans. My Wife has seen me in these once (I’ll tell you about that one day soon) so I have no reason to keep them from Her sight, and I have deliberately put them near the top of the pile, where they can clearly be seen. (Not that I expect they’ll show up as the tinniest blip on her radar.)

And when all the crap has been removed from my house, perhaps I should consider some sex life laundry.

5 Responses to “DLS #10 : Life laundry”

  1. workspousestory Says:

    I am still in shock your wife has never found anything yet… good luck with finding new places šŸ˜‰

    • Hiding stuff isn’t that hard really.

    • workspousestory Says:

      I don’t know, I think I’m not disciplined enough. I’ve been known to leave used condoms on the table just before my parents’ visit, or – recently – a birthday present for Sasha in plain view of my husband.

      Yeah.. I’m really not very good at that.

    • Accidental Masturbator Says:

      Used condoms? That’s just unhygienic! LOL

    • workspousestory Says:

      Right? šŸ˜‰ not only a slut, also dirty.
      No, of course I’m not. Far from it.

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