Wasted opportunities

Nearly four weeks after my new underwear arrived in the post, I was starting to think my Wife was either colourblind or choosing to ignore it. Nothing had been said despite Her having enough opportunities to notice me wearing it and at least with respect to reviving our sex life, it was turning out to have been a waste of effort. Or maybe She genuinely just hadn’t noticed.

I usually do the laundry in our house, but I’ve been quite busy this week and hatched a plan to make the most of this and force the issue.

The laundry basket was nearing full and most of my new smalls were buried in it. I was going out to do an evening’s work and set the washing machine to finish whilst I was out. My Wife would have to empty it and hang everything out to dry. She couldn’t fail to notice my new pants(UK). Surely.

The laundry had been hung up for 36hrs, as autumnal temperatures slowed the drying process, and nothing had been said. My Wife had had to hang out 3 of my most colourful pairs of shreddies and still made no comment about the dramatic change to my underwear habits.

When our clothes were eventually dry, I even busied myself enough with work so that She’d end up putting them away and be confronted by the most revealing pair (the see through green trunks) which were still in my drawer. And She still said nothing.

Jeez! What’s a guy got to do to get his undies noticed?!

Another 12 hrs later, and as my Wife was about to put sheets and towels on to wash, out of the blue, there’s a brief conversation:
Her: Your new underwear is quite colourful.
Me: I just felt like a change.
Her: After always wearing stayed black?
Me: I just felt like a change.

And that was it.
What a waste of opportunity. I’d been waiting weeks for this exchange and the words I’d intended to say somehow never passed my lips:
Her: Your new underwear is quite colourful.
Me: Yeah, I was hoping some colour might get me noticed a bit more.
Her: After always wearing stayed black?
Me: I used to wear more interesting pants all the time. Before we got together. What do you think?
But I failed to have the presence of mind to utter my rehearsed speach.

A couple of days latter again, and She’s gone to bed a little before I get home. But I’m wearing the green trunks, and when I get to the bedroom, She’s still awake and the lights are on. I ditch my jeans at the first opportunity and, with my cock clearly visible through the iridescent mesh, I stand displayed before Her as we catch up on each other’s evening news.

And She says …
Yes, you guessed it, Dear Reader, She says nothing about my pants.

Some times I really don’t know why I bother.

25 Responses to “Wasted opportunities”

  1. workspousestory Says:

    Oh 😦 shame about the conversation that went this way.

    But since – clearly – you are the bolder one, why don’t you pick up on it? She *did* mention it ultimately. Sounds like she wanted to pick up on it but was unfortunately unsuccessful (oh, how much I know about those damn conversations that didn’t go the way I planned…) Could you not drop in the conversation something like… ‘So, did you like my new underwear?’. Get an opinion out of her. Could you perhaps make it ‘light and breezy’ so to speak? Like a joke?

    • I have planned a couple of subsequent conversations already. They are partly dependant on engineering some circumstances though – being in the same room at the same time, in a sufficient state of undress and wearing the right underwear, or arranging for some more underwear in the post and opening it when she’s around.
      I know, I know, I should be more up front. Something like asking “any chance I can go down on you when you get home from work tonight Darling?” but I’m not sure I can do that.

  2. Do we get to see the said green mesh pants

  3. why didn’t you ask, “Honey, How do you like my new underwear?”…as you are in a Superman stance? omg – ask her to go down on her…sounds hot to me. For whatever reason though, it didn’t produce the results you wanted. Have you done the note thing. What approach does SHE LIKE? Maybe you do need to be bold…in your own way. Have you tried the note thing. Leave her a note telling her to Go get in the bath (that you’ve made for her) or go lay on the bed without her underwear, where you have wine or her favorite drink and you join her and talk for a minute as you slowly move in on her with touching… or a trail of notes telling her to disrobe aand she ends up in your room where you’re there in your see through pants? Maybe that last one would be too much.

    • workspousestory Says:

      I would second where you’re going here, perhaps a bit less bold πŸ˜‰ but the initiative lies with you.
      And, simply, she might not be a fan of see-through male underwear… no matter how difficult that might be to accept :/

    • WHAT does SHE LIKE? You don’t say what she likes – what is she into besides work? Does she have friends you could ask?

    • If I knew what She liked I’d be getting laid regularly. Ha ha!
      Ok, joking aside, maybe not. But I don’t think it’s about what She likes. I’m not sure I can tell you what She does like, and in respect of physicality, I’d be impressed of she could tell herself. (And no, I’m not just trying to give Her bad press on that.)

    • try the note thing anyway – not as orders per say but “I thought you’d like a bubble bath and a glass of wine” some suggestion that is a nice and easy start so you can move in on her slowly?? I don’t know. You just seem sweet enough AND READY , there has to be. I know – IGNORE HER , then her Control Freak will come out and go after you… ?

    • Have I told you about our Toast Incident?

    • No you haven’t – I’ afraid hahaha

    • A fair point. But I genuinely don’t think it would matter if my underpants were green, or see through, any more if than if they were made of chocolate, decorated with Renaissance art and played free jazz every time I farted.
      I think I’ve not been trying to find something She likes, but rather to provoke a reaction. And yes, I kind of got one, but I was the one to have missed the opportunity to deal with it in a productive way.

    • I’m pretty confident The Note Thing wouldn’t work as She actively doesn’t like surprises and She’s a self confessed control freak.

  4. I ache for you, AM; so much unsaid. I don’t want to get in her head, since she isn’t writing here, so I can’t begin to guess what she’s thinking. I only know what you share about your own thoughts. I urge you to say something simple like, “I really like my new underpants. They make me think of you,” or whatever is a true statement. It’s not “about” her, she isn’t required to respond. You’re simply sharing how you feel about them. It’s a baby step that might make you feel heard.

    • Hmmm. Food for thought.
      It was my intention to say more at the time, and I’d like to think my internalised rehearsals might have paid off, had I had the presence of mind. But I missed that opportunity.
      I’ve not given Plan B too much thought yet (no, not that>/em> Plan B – you know who you are) but I think it’s most likely to be opening post with underwear in front of Her and asking what She thinks.
      My approach to these things is quite possibly that of a coward, but I prefer to think of it as that of a cautious pragmatist who likes to have an escape route.

    • Nothing gained if nothing risked πŸ™‚

    • Although the corollary is he who turns and runs away, lives to run another day, I am not averse to a little risk and the potential dividend is indeed higher. Bear with me – I may yet climb the mountain.

    • I’ll always bear with you, friend πŸ™‚ xx Hy

    • Mwah, mwah.
      I kiss you on both cheeks.

  5. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress Says:

    Oh I’m so sorry. Being rejete – on purpose or otherwise – is so disheartening. Are you still in couples counseling?

    • No, we stopped counselling about 3 months ago. One thing we never dealt with in our sessions was sex / intimacy / displays of affection / etc but as discussed in Expect The Unexpected She has suggested She might consider talking to a sex therapist on her own. I don’t think it will actually happen without a some sort of catalyst, and I don’t think it will happen imminently, but I really do think She / we need it.

  6. deviantdiaries Says:

    AM I agree with Hy….maybe telling her WHY you bought them or how they make you feel will prompt more dialogue. Somehow I think if parading around in them and having them literally hanging around for hours for her to make a comment isn’t catching her attention, you just need to be more assertive.

    You two definitely have volumes unspoken between you and it’s almost painful to bear witness to the missed opportunities you both have. I guess getting dialogue going about ANYTHING (even something as trivial as undies) is a good thing. Plus, you could then bridge that conversation into one asking her what lingerie makes her feel more sexy (and then use that to do your holiday shopping)???

    Either way…good luck!

    • As discussed, telling Her WHY was the intention. I just missed the opportunity to pilot us into those conversational waters.
      You’re right of course, and to quote Joan Rivers, “We need to talk”, and there are constantly thoughts bouncing round my head on what to try next. Bluntly brining it up at the dinner table probably wouldn’t be the worst idea, but diving into icy fjord is going to need one of us to take a very deep breath first.

  7. workspousestory Says:

    I just wanted to make one more point that, if this is difficult for her, just imagine how terrifying it is to her.
    To be fair, *I* would be shocked if my husband bought underwear like that. Fair enough, we once bought silver thongs for him that did give us a bit of fun, but to her it might seem that something changed in you if you *casually* wear them. It doesn’t *seem* to her you wear them for her, but for you, since the subject was never breached. Not sure if that’s making it clear….
    …not to stress you out at all, but maybe she is even worrying if something in your life changed. Or someone. Try to get in her head and feel the potential anguish at misunderstanding the situation.

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