Making space

The bulk of my sex toys, porn and kinky clothing is kept in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets. It is a lockable wooden chest, about 14″ x 10″ x 8″ that was actually my tuck box when I was at boarding school. I’ve never hidden the box itself – it has always just lived openly in my bedroom (when I lived alone), or beside my desk (in our spare bedroom) – but it always remains locked. It currently contains the following:

  • 4 books
  • 6 porn mags
  • 6 porno movies (2 x VHS / 4 x DVD)
  • 4 CDRs of porn
  • 9 CBT toys
  • 1 pair of hand cuffs
  • 2 items of underwear
  • 1 pack of condoms
  • 1 butt plug
  • 2 epliators
  • 5 items of rubber fetishwear
  • 1 bottle of talc
  • 1 bottle of rubber polish
  • and a handful of other sexy things, like a fetish map of The Big Smoke and some vintage porn post cards


The box is full!

And as previously mentioned, I have items (masturbators, CB6000s, porn, etc) in various other hiding places around the house. It’s about time I got the situation under control and knew where everything was without having to think about it. But there is no more room in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets. Having a second box is one option, but that’s going to start to raise suspicions (And yes I know, Dear Reader, that some of you think that would be a good idea) but the more realistic option is to have a bit of a cull.

Today it starts.

3 of the porn mags are going in the recyling. They are the more recent ones, and having had a quick flick through them, whilst the voluptuous tits and splayed pussies did indeed give me a boner, when I looked at the faces of the girls to which they were attached, I lost it as I really wasn’t that interested in jerking off over 20yr olds. (No offence to the 20-somethings in my audience!) The remaining 3 mags I’m keeping: one is a copy of the first porn mag I ever bought (though sadly not my original copy) and the other two were respectively published in the month I was 13 and the month I was born, and these were a 30th Birthday present from Geri, my ex-girlfriend, . (Yes, she was even my ex-girlfriend at the time.)

Next on the list, the larger of the two epilators, which will go on eBay. Now that I have found a good place locally to get my cock’n’balls waxed, I have little need for an epilator, other than to do a little pubic detailing, for which the smaller tool will suffice. And the mains powered one takes up almost as much space as my Fleshlight.

Finally, for the moment, are the 2 VHS tapes. Along with several others that are either buried at the back of a desk drawer or in a box in the loft. But don’t worry, I’ll not be getting rid of these completely: I’ll be digging out an old VHS player, hooking it up to a PC and transfering the films to a password protected folder on a hard drive. Then I’ll dispose of the cassettes.

I still don’t know if that will give me enough space in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets for all my naughty little secrets, but t least it’s a start!

16 Responses to “Making space”

  1. Hmmm… out of interest, has your wife never questioned the contents of the box?

    • No. I’ve often pondered why. I guess it’s possible She suspects, and chooses to ignore the possibility. But my guess is it’s just never occurred to her.

    • I wonder if you’ve got a response ready if she ever asks? 😉

    • Yes. “My sexual past.”

    • Ha! I like that. A brave one 😉

    • Brave and probably a little bitter.

      10yrs ago, even 5yrs ago, I’d probably have brushed off the question with “oh just more stuff I really ought to go through and/or get rid of some time.” These days we need a catalyst at the very least – a more open stance is required.

      If She ever did ask, and did get that answer, I sincerely doubt curiosity would get the better of Her.

    • Well, you never know. She did a few times ask you about stuff, didn’t she… but when the atmosphere is so charged it’s easy to lose one’s cool.

    • I’ve spent a couple of hours reflecting on this, and whilst I’m probably being pessimistic here, I genuinely can’t think of much that’s She’s asked about. I certainly can’t think when we’ve ever had a real conversation about sex toys, sex games, erotic art or literature, or anything fetishistic.

    • My apologies for not being specific enough; I meant the few times when she followed up on something like the lingerie you bought her some time ago, etc. You know, those moments that caught you unguarded last year.

      Such a tricky situation. Sorry for asking so many questions 😉

    • Feel free to ask anything you want!
      I think I need to re-read some of my old posts – give myself a little hindsighted perspective. I can’t remember what She’s asked.

  2. always remember not to buy too much stuff, because chances are you won’t use most of them quite often and few years later, you realize you have to let them go

    • Anything I’ve felt was no longer likely to get used has been sold on eBay (a few CBT straps, cock rings, a couple of ball stretchers, some kinky underwear). That was mostly because I’d bought something better, though was surprised anyone would by second hand sex toys.

      Not many of the things in The Chest get used as often as I’d like, but it’s like going down on an old fuck buddy whenever they’re pressed back into action.

  3. filledandfooled Says:

    Yes surprising there is a market for second hand sex toys and epilators. Reminds me I have one, unopened that was a gift from my husband…heh.

    • Unused sex toy or epilator? And why unopened?

    • filledandfooled Says:

      Epilator, because I shave in the shower and fear pain…or fearED pain, I think it could be fun to try now and the razor leaves stubble. I just realized a few months ago how great it feels and looks to be totally smooth. Oh maybe I should just get waxed instead and sell the epilator (since apparently there is a market)?

    • I can’t recommend getting waxed highly enough. (As you might guess from the number of times I’ve mentioned it.)

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