Keeping count

One of my readers recently informed me that Lovehoney will send you sex toys to review, and then allow you to keep them for free. (Terms and conditions apply.) So I’ve been perusing their wares over the last couple of days.

They have some very tempting product ranges and it’s good to see that, not only are sex toy designers deliciously innovative, they also have a sense of humor. Which is why this caught my eye.


It’s a cock ring with counter.
Just like a pedometer, it has a motion sensor in it, and each time it’s jolted, the displayed count is incremented. Wear it round the base of your cock, and it will count the thrust as you slam into your partner’s welcoming cunt. Beautifully simple.

The marketing spiel says it counts BPM or Bonks Per Minute, and I guess you could use it as part of an exercise regime, to keep track of the calories you burn from fucking. But I’m sorely tempted to get one just to find out the average number of strokes it takes me to jerk off.

10 Responses to “Keeping count”

  1. And your estimate would be?
    Love Lovehoney, their customer service is amazing. I would want to work for them if I lived anywhere near Bath – just imagine wandering through their warehouse…

    • Did you see the documentary on them a couple of months back?

    • Yes, the women working there were brilliant, nothing surprised them. Wonder if Coco de Mer’s fortunes have improved since LH bought them? Did you sign up for any toy testing?

    • Yes. I submitted several reviews too, and they’ll need to be vetted before getting published and I have a chance of toy testing.

    • Just had emails to say I’ve had 4 reviews published on LoveHoney. Hopefully they’ll soon want to send me something to test for them!

    • I posted about 10 reviews before they sent me anything. It’s worth checking their toy testers category regularly, they change the toys/clothing they want tested every week (?). Also helps if you are willing to test something few other people do (right up your street? Or not?) Locking cock ring on test this week…I’m more of a glass dildo addict
      Was sent a game to test recently, would be something that would interest Her?

    • I’ve not seen a “we want these tested” list. I guessed unreviewed toys would be a better bet.
      I doubt the game would be any interest at all. Even after negotiating the questions “Where on earth did you get that? And why?” I doubt there’s anything on Lovehoney’a website that would be of any more interest than AA batteries! Seriously!

    • On main page click on community and advice, on the drop down menu click on sex toy testers and follow the guidelines. So what have you reviewed then?

  2. Quite a unique piece of cock ring! But still,it’s not advisable to wear it for too long !

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