The neighbours

Last night on TV there was a documentary called Sex On Wheels. I didn’t get to see it, but thankfully the lovely people at Channel 4 have a VOD service which means many of their programs can be watched at a later date. I will be watching the doco at the first possible opportunity – obviously in the absence of my Wife, and probably with my trousers round my ankles – and rest assured, when I do, I shall report back on the program … and my accompanying wank.


In the meantime, I found myself hypothesize about the sex lives of our neighbours.

This is not the first time I have contemplated the complexities of James and Mandy’s sex life as Mandy is wheel-chair bound and quite frail: I have no sense of whether she can even have sex. If she can, James must do pretty much all the work, as from what I’ve seen Mandy does not have the strength in her hands to give a satisfying wank, and cannot sit up without assistance. I dare say she can give a blow job, but how effectively, I have no idea. And as she is paralysed from the waist down, what condition is her cunt in? Does she have any muscular tone, or even sensation? (I hope the TV show will enlighten me, to some extent.) If she cannot fuck, I wonder if James has his needs serviced professionally? He is well paid, so could easily afford to, and I know if I was in that position it would certainly cross my mind. And if I were physically incapable of fucking, I’d like to think I would encourage my partner to hire escorts. (Hell, I’d probably even want to watch!)
Then there’s Mary – Mandy’s full time carer. She’s a very sexy woman, and I’d happily bet she’s dirty. Very dirty. She’s got long shapely legs, an arse you’d never want to stop fondling, a cracking pair of tits, and she always dresses to make the most of them all. She has a playful twinkle in her eye and she almost certainly loves going down on her man. I’ll bet she always wears sexy lingerie, has a modest stash of imodest porn movies, and is quite partial to having a cock in her arse while her cunt is filled with one of her vibrators.

Next in the street are Kate and Henry, the oldest of our neighbours, and who have both been married before. Both successful professionals, Henry is about 60, Kate is probably about 50, and whilst neither of them are what you might think of as particularly glamorous people, they are smart, stylish, and young for their ages. I can easily imagine that they find each other sexy, probably in a James Bond / Miss Moneypenny way: there’ll be lots of flirting in their house. When Henry gets home from a long day of international business, it wouldn’t surprise me to know that one of the first things he attends to is his wife. After embracing in the kitchen, Henry will fondle Kate’s arse and then playfully chase her up to the bedroom. When they fuck it isn’t spectacular, or athletic, but they both enjoy it and it it is sex that cements their relationship.

Deborah and Joe are in their early 40s and, of all our neighbours, they are the couple that I can most imagine veering towards a dom and slave. Joe is a quiet, unassuming man, whilst from the dealings we have had with Deborah, I would describe her as aggressive, and even a bully. I can certainly imagine her knelt astride Joe’s face, pulling his head up by his hair and relentlessly grinding her cunt down on his mouth. His role would be to service Deborah’s needs, and failure to do so is met with contempt and derision. The only time Joe doesn’t get fucked is when he is ordered to fuck Deborah, and woe betide him if he cums first. That’s when she reaches for her riding crop, and vigorously spanks his spent genitals.

Danni and Paul span a significant age gap; Danni is in her mid 40s, a full decade younger than her partner, and is the greatest glamour puss of our neighbours. Before meeting Danni, Paul has long been the archetypal bachelor, but whilst he has given up the luxuries and freedom of the single life, his reward has been regular, enthusiastic sex. Danni likes to fuck. A lot. She likes Paul to give her snatch a really good, hard pounding, and responds loudly with a torrent of filthy encouragement. Her favourite positions are on her back with her ankles by her ears, and doggy, with the occasional slap on her rump. Danni needs cock at least three times a week, and whilst Paul does do a pretty good job of keeping up with his younger nympho, she is happy to reach for  her stylish Lelo Soraya when Paul can’t quite keep up.


Adam and Jenny are the quiet couple. Always smart and stylish, regular attendees at both church and the gym.  They are outwardly the perfect respectable couple and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they’re actually swingers. I can just imagine them fucking 5 or 6 other couples at one party. When they get home, Adam will lick 5 or 6 loads of cum from Amanda’s dripping snatch while she tugs on his 10″ cock. If they’re not gang-banging, Adam often films Jenny masturbating and they sell the movies to fellow pervs, each DVD being packaged with a pair of her unwashed panties. They are far to prim and proper to not have some really smutty secrets.

And in the middle of all this, there’s us. With little sex life to speak of. And instead of fucking my Wife, I play with kinky toys, dress in rubber underwear, and jerk off whilst imagining how great our neighbours’ bedroom antics are.

6 Responses to “The neighbours”

  1. well, you know what neighbours are like…

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