Of geese and ganders

NB Ad with Iits Been A While, this post has been scudding around at the bottom of the to be published pile for a couple of months. Again, it is largely here as a foundation for posts yet to come.

She stirred from sleep and I looked at the clock. Not actually time to get up, but close enough. My wife got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and you know as well as I did, Dear Reader, what’s coming next.

After Emptying Half A Glass, and the realisation that not having sex is nominally less stressful than having sex these days, I just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to have had sex today. I didn’t want to have had bad sex, usual sex, or almost as likely, to have unfulfilling sex today.

She reached for my groin and I ignored Her hand. She rolled away.

She reached for my groin again and again I ignored Her hand. We both lay still.

She reached for my groin a third time and I put my hand on Her’s to stop it. She rolled away and purposefully disentangled my arm from around my shoulders.

As hard as I stared at the darkened ceiling, there was no chink of light to be found, so I got out if bed, without comment, and went for a shower. Returning, we said nothing, and through the gloom of the curtained room, my Wife seemed to hide under the duvet.

No conversation as I dressed. The huddled shadow in our bed remained unmoved.

As I drank my tea at the breakfast table I wondered what She was thinking. I wondered how She felt. Not that I should have to wonder. She has rejected my advances more times than I care to remember. But I wondered if She analysed and rationalised, and contemplated cause, effect and remedy. As I would do.

9 Responses to “Of geese and ganders”

  1. I have been there… Its a sobering place. I hope she thinks of you amd the situation.hugs to you AM. Jayne

  2. Although I have just started to read your writings, I’m going to have to navigate to the beginning to Understand your current situation. I can share with you as a married woman. If I were in that position, I can tell you I would Most Definitely would have Internalized, Personalized and been really Saddened by your Actions. As I mentioned I’m only basis this comment by your post, and my Feelings.

    • It’s easy to see that it might have been upsetting. But the clue is in the title. Over the years we have been together, on more occasions than I could count (probably hundreds) my Wife has rejected my attempts to initiate sex. And that’s not to say I was trying to fuck her every day – I was restrained – I’d try maybe only once or twice a week in our early days. But I’d estimate that 80-90% of the time my hand would be moved away, or my erection ignored. So I gave up.
      Once in a blue moon I’m not in the mood for sex. I suspect only 4 or 5 times in about 15yrs has this coincided with Her trying to initiate sex.
      The clue is in the title: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
      Does that give a different perspective?

    • Ooh Absolutely Indeed it does. Ironically I have just the opposite. I WANT SEX EVERY NIGHT! If I don’t initiate it, it DOESNT HAPPEN. I naturally go to bed in the nude. Last night I wore night clothes to see what his response would be. Would he physically remove them, (as I so desperately wanted him too) or ask why I was wearing them to bed? (This is something I don’t do) It was a test of sorts. I know this may appear to be a game. I hate mental drama, although I wanted to see what his response was. I will tell you I was Sadly Disappointed!
      When I don’t receive what I want I become frustrated and that my Friend converts to anger. It would be Very Easy to get an adult toy…It’s just not the same laying in bed with your partner while your going at it with a toy. I’ve done it already. The countless times I have verbalised my wants, desires, fantasy and although I’m dominate, and can be a bit bossy, I need and want for him to be Dominate with me and have told him this countless times verbally or in a letter. After 23 years of marriage I know he cant read my mind (as much as I wish he could) he doesn’t even read my body language unless I’m noticeably upset. Then I go from being bubbly and laughing to sitting quietly. I Do Understand My Friend, and it Sucks!

    • Still No Sex. I’m just going to lay low. I’ll just do my usual daily tasks including getting myself off. How sad is that a Woman in her late 40’s Wanting & Desiring Sex. The Majority of Women my age want Nothing to do with any sexual activity. We Will See What Happens Tonight.

    • My fingers are crossed for your tonight.
      Have you told him there’s a problem or are you expecting him to realise.

    • Thank you so much. I’ll keep you posted.

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