You’re not sticking that in me!

A few years ago I was having a drink with a colleague, and the conversation turned to tattoos and piercings. He confessed that he’d used to have a PA, and I said I was considering one myself. His advice was to give it a miss, and although I have thought about it periodically ever since, for various reasons (not least the reaction I would have expected from my Wife – probably horror, and possibly even revulsion) I shelved the idea.

Then a while back someone asked on my blog:

I wonder if there are non-piercing P.A.’s.

Well it turns out there are and a few months ago, a sex toy arrived in the post, and I think it’s probably my kinkiest purchase to date. (I should warn you, this is not for the faint hearted and the mere thought may well bring tears to your eyes.)

It’s commonly calked a penis plug with glans ring.
You winced a little at the sight, didn’t you Dear Reader? And if you didn’t, you winced when you realised what it was. Yes? I thought so.
And I confess I did feel just a little intimidated when I first held this in my hand, but I am very glad to say it does not bring tears to my eyes. And anyway, it wasn’t as if I was completely oblivious to the concept something going up my cock. I’ve had an endoscopic examination of my prostate, and then there was the spoon experiment …

Quite a few years ago, I was sat on the sofa having a wank in the middle of the day. I had some porn in front of me, my cock in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. The mug of tea is significant, because I’d not taken the teaspoon out of it. It occurred to me that the bowl of the spoon had pretty much the same contour as my swollen helmet, and with it being hot from the tea, I wondered what it would feel like against my bell end. It felt quite good, and I ran it over and around my cock for a few moments, allowing my foreskin to fold forward over the hot metal. The handle of the spoon was smooth and rounded, and I found myself running it across my piss hole. The tip of the handle was also smooth and rounded, and I wondered whether it could go into my cock. Yes, that’s right – into my cock. And guess what?

With my stiff flesh rod pointing skyward, I gently pushed the tip of the stiff metal rod against the opening in my glans … which yielded. With almost no resistance, the spoon handle disappeared into my tool, until it’s whole length was inside me. Only the bowl of the spoon protruded from my manhood.

There was little sensation to speak of, other than the fact that I could definitely feel there was something in my urethra, but certainly no discomfort. This really made me giggle and it amused me greatly to find that if I let go of the spoon and tensed my PC muscle, I could propel the spoon out of my cock. I played with this action for a while, watching as this foreign object slid in and out of me; it was as if the spoon was a dick, and my dick was a pussy – my dick was getting fucked by the spoon. I grabbed my phone and filmed it. (Well you would, wouldn’t you?!)

Back to my new toy …

I’d first seen penis plugs on sex shop websites a couple of years ago, and whilst I’d not really considered sounding – that was just a bit too much like hard core S&M for me – I was just a little curious about plugs. And why not? Think about a Prince Albert: having a ring fitted through your glans is not that dissimilar, except it is far more drastic. You don’t hear of men with PAs constantly walking round in agony and if I were in a more sexual relationship, I would still consider getting a my cock pierced. But in the meantime being asked about non piercing PAs was the catalyst when it came to me finally ordering a plug.

I was most curious about the penis plugs with glans rings attached, partly from an aesthetic stand point, and partly because I liked the idea of a ring around my knob, but also because I felt it gave an increased degree of safety – without the ring, I could just about envisage an embarrassing trip to A&E, and possibly even a need for the toy to be surgically removed.

For those who still in the dark, (or just in denial) it is used thus: the thicker tapered bar gets inserted into the end of your urethra, the thinner U-shaped bar extends out of your cock, and holds the ring around the base of your bell end. Simple.

(For the record, as I type this, I am wearing my penis plug.)

The toy I bought was one of the smallest I could find, from a manufacturer called Titus – I did not want to be too ambitious after all. The thicker plug section is 42mm long, with diameter of 8mm; including the u-shaped bar there is insertable length of 55mm, and the ring has an internal diameter of 29mm. (For context, the handle of my teaspoon is 7mm in diameter and approximately 100mm long.)

To insert the toy, I apply a little alcohol to clean it, then some lube, pull back my foreskin and gently easy the tip of the plug into my dick. Getting the first 10-15mm in takes no effort at all, but as the plug broadens, I need to push just a little, and then, as the ridge passes into my meatus, the remainder slips in without effort. I need to fiddle with the ring a little to get it over my helmet through it (as the ring is narrower than my tip) but once in place, the toy is firmly located. I usually get at least a semi in the process, which makes everything a little tighter, and if I could avoid that, inserting the plug would probably be even easier.

It’s kind of difficult to explain what it feels like to have my cock plugged. There isn’t a great deal of sensation involved, but (to use the phrase Fiona, my number 8, once used to describe how she felt when I sodomised her) my dick feels beautifully filled. For me, the best part is psychological – I think most people would regard this as seriously kinky, and I do like that. It makes me feel very horny! VERY VERY HORNY!!!

Having said this tortuous looking device does not bring tears to my eyes, I do have a couple of issues with it.

Firstly, there’s the quality of the finish. Obviously, with such steel toys, perfectly polished surfaces are imperative, both for hygiene reasons, but more importantly so you don’t lacerate the delicate tissues in your penis. Whilst all the parts that are inserted into your urethra are smooth, where the ring attaches to the ball there are rough edges. This is not a huge concern, as these edges will only be exposed if the toy is disassembled (as instructed, for cleaning) and won’t directly come into contact with your dick and, but even so they are not quite what they really should be.


Secondly, I think the shape of the plug itself is not ideal as there is a relatively sudden step in diameter. This is a potential issue when you remove the plug: the ridge means that when you pull the toy forward, it also stretches your urethra along it’s length, which means it squeezes down on the plug. It’s a bit of a vicious circle – the more you pull the tighter it gets. (Difficult to explain I’m afraid, but take my word for it.) It is far from impossible to remove, but I believe a more gradual profile would make it significantly easier to remove.

One other thing I would personally change is the curve of the bar that attaches the plug to the ring, as it does not match that of my glans. But that’s not to say it won’t be perfect for anyone else’s cock.

If I were to buy another penis plug, I might also opt for a flexible model, but this was my first such purchase, so maybe I’ll get another one some time.

I’ve not scoured the web to find other people who use penis plugs, so I don’t know whether they are usually used just for masturbation by men on their own (like I do), or by kinky couples, or professional dominatrixes. But the one real down side I can see is that it’s probably not a good idea to fuck with one in place – again I can foresee a hospital trip to retrieve a lost toy. I would, however, love to know what it feels like, and thankfully I have figured out a way to experience this … courtesy of my trusty Fleshlight. My balls twitch at the very prospect, and rest assured I’ll let you know how I get on.

13 Responses to “You’re not sticking that in me!”

  1. I think that’s my new learning complete for Sunday morning then.
    The penis plug I understand but the spoon? All my teaspoons have flared ends, just the thought of…well, makes my eyes water on behalf of penis bearing individuals

  2. Perhaps because I have a vagina, I did nor wince at recognizing this thing gets inserted into your penis. I think you should have had a picture of this toy on an actual penis. just for fun ; )

  3. hi, first time commenter :). all i have to say is eek! do you have to stay hard while its in? never heard of anything like that before. and the spoon?? hmm well if i was male and i thought of it yep i pobably would have got the camera out….hehe

  4. I think that look absolutely Delicious my Friend.

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