Hello girls

Pretty much everyone in the western hemisphere (and I’m guessing much of the eastern) who has even a passing interest in tits will be acquainted with the supportive work of the Wonderbra. And those over the age of 25 or so, will fondly remember Eva Herzigova and the advertising slogan “Hello boys!”
No? You don’t?
Let me remind you …

WPwb

Thankfully we live in times that are not only ingenious, but also slowly moving towards sexual equality. So just as the Wonderbra helped women make the most of their cleavages, men too can now get in on the act of supportive underwear. The first time I came across so marketed undies, the focus was just on lifting butt cheeks, but these days men’s enhancing underwear is just as likely to help make the most what’s packed into the front.

So, what are these pants(UK) actually like? How do they work? Are they comfortable? And do the actually deliver on their promises?

The MO seems to be pretty similar for all the brands I’ve investigated so far: put a seam snugly behind your balls and have a relatively loose pouch for your family jewels. Some designs also put a seam up the back that pulls the fabric into your butt crack, making your shape more obvious from the rear as well.

There is of course one way that the Wonderbra is far more effective at asset promotion: it only takes a low cut top to make the most of the Woderbra. Unfortunately even with trousers of the lightest fabric, the only way anyone will know you’re wearing them … is if you drop your trousers. But sometimes we men have to just put up with our lot.

As you know, Loyal Reader, a while back I decided to buy some interesting undies – something that might get me noticed a bit more often by my Wife. Just to up my changes of getting laid from Negligible to If I’m Really Really Lucky. Sadly, whilst they did get noticed, they didn’t really meet with approval. That said, I’ve ended up buying a dozen pairs in the last year or so, most of which provide a little assistance. And this is what I think of them.

————

Clever Moda Lucerna Boxer (blue)WPuwBs
A flattering cut in a thin, almost airtex fabric.
Pros: Very comfortable pouch and crotch seam nestles lightly between my arse cheeks.
Cons: The fine material seems robust to date, but I’d advise washing them in a mesh laundry bag so they aren’t hammered too badly by the rigours of a normal laundry cycle.
Enhancement: Shows off your package without being too overt. Also emphasises your butt crack.

Clever Moda Pop Boxer (green see through mesh)WPuwGs
Effectively the same as the Lucerna trunks above, except in see through mesh.
Pros: Leave almost nothing to the imagination.
Cons: It’s possible to catch a jagged finger nail in the mesh and I suspect could be a little fragile in the long term. If you get a bit sweaty they can also feel a little scratchy, though I suspect having a completely waxed arse would get round this very well.
Enhancement: See above.

Bruno Banani Anti Stress Tanga (orange)WPuwOs
I have no idea what is anti stress about these. Pleasantly small at the front, without being indiscreetly so, whilst having a full rear. Soft, ridged material looks fantastic, especially in bright orange.
Pros: Very comfortable.
Cons: Being so vibrant, it’s probably not surprising that the colour could fade but this does seem to have started disappointingly quickly.
Enhancement: These aren’t sold as bulge enhancing, and they are cut more traditionally in that respect.

Bum Chums Brief (“Plum” purple)WPuwPs
Quite a modest cut, covering as much as traditional y-fronts, but your junk is given extra room at the front. Thicker silky fabric.
Pros: Comfortable, day to day briefs.
Cons: I’ve had to repair failed stitching on one elasticated seam and the branding patch, which is disappointing.
Enhancement: Whilst these are definitely cut to help show off your manhood, the front panel is a double thickness of material which seems to smooth over any sillouette improvements the cut provides.

Airtex low rise brief (grey)WPuwMGs
Very, very, very, very low cut, barely covering my average sized cock, and even as waxed as I usually am, they don’t cover my pubes at all.
Pros: Tiny.
Cons: Being as low cut as they are, they don’t cover much of your ass and I’m not convinced showing off that much cleavage is ever good. These also have turned from light grey to light purple in the wash.
Enhancement: Almost the opposite of enhancing and could nearly give you the mangina look.

————

Having failed to induce the desired effect with my first bulk purchase (above) and having failed to capitalise on the comments my Wife did make, my second order was decidedly more selfish. The next 3 pairs weren’t expected to be seen by my Her, although I did initially wonder whether the Pride Frame Bikini might get public outings.

Joe Snyder G-string (wine)WPuwGSts
Very classy colour and silky fabric, in a decidedly slutty style. (Can men be sluts? I think so.)
Pros: There’s almost nothing to them.
Cons: For me, the small triangle of satin could do with being a little wider, so it follows the line where my thighs meet my body. The string easily gets twisted when you take it off, but it’s a small problem for undies so gloriously small.
Enhancement: I’m not sure you could have a bulge enhancing G-string, but this doesn’t pretend to be that.

Joe Snyder Pride Frame Bikini (mango)WPuwPBs
Pride by name, and pride by nature. Black piping round your package is very striking, pushing everything out into view. High cut seams round the legs means only the upper half of your ass cheeks are covered. They’re quite … err … cheeky.
Pros: Definitely going to get you noticed.
Cons: Definitely going to get you noticed, to the extent I may only wear them on the same basis as my thongs.
Enhancement: Definitely. Not in the most relaxed way, but they’ll certainly get you noticed.

MANstore Lasso string (sheer black)WPuwLTIs
A truly unconventional item of underwear. Imagine you start with just the waistband of a pair of briefs. Then attach to the back of the waistband the part of a thong that goes between your buttocks, except rather than it joining up with a pouch at the front, you just have a loop. This goes round your cock and balls, much like a cock ring. There is then a pouch at the front (only attached to the waistband at the top) which pulls down over your wedding tackle. (Surprisingly difficult to explain, but hopefully that makes sense.)
Pros: If your partner sees you in these, curiosity is all but guaranteed.
Cons: I’d definitely class these as strictly fund-derwear. I found the loop around my cock and balls got a little uncomfortable after a couple of hours wear, and if you’re moving around lots, or don’t have low hanging balls for the pouch to tuck under, it’s quite likely to slip off. Also, if you want to go for a piss, standing at the urinal trying to get the pouch back into place is going to get you some funny looks. Unfortunately the version of these that had the hot-pink piping is no longer available.
Enhancement: The cock ring effect is always going to make your cock and balls more noticable. and the pouch is loose enough to not push everything flat again.

————

Which brings us to my most recent acquisitions, which arrived last week. These are fully expected to get worn on most occasions and be proudly hung on the washing line.

Ergowear Max Light Midcut Boxer Brief (lime green)WPuwELs
Medium length trunk in soft fine fabric.
Pros: Awesome cut.
Cons: Being larger, these are quite warm and not ideal in summer temperatures.
Enhancement: The pouch is probably designed more for men with more to put in it than I do, but on me somehow the effect is to emphasiee my balls and cock almost separately. Get even the mildest semi and the way the pouch clings to your jewels is awesome. Additionally the seams are such that the one behind your nuts does a superb job of lifting them whilst the mid seam down the back tucks nicely between your butt cheeks, giving them definition usually hidden by briefs.

Ergowear Max Light Bikini Brief (mink)WPuwBBs
A full backed tanga brief with a broad waste-band and a good pouch (much like the Midcut Boxer Brief’s above). A similar design to the Sloggi tangas I’ve worn for years.
Pros: Good, small every day underwear. Very soft material
Cons: No downsides that I can think of.
Enhancement: Though a little less pronounced, like the Midcut Boxer, the pouch is excellent, providing lift whilst allowing you to swing freely. (Sadly there isn’t a rear seam on these so they don’t highlight your buns.)

Clever Moda Sporty Romano Brief (red)WPuwCRs
A near identical design to the Ergowear Max Light Bikini, but with a less pronounced pouch.
Pros: I’ve always like the no side look.
Cons: Where I usually wear Medium (EU) sized shreddies, I needed a Large in these.
Enhancement: Because of the size difference, the pouch was then a little more generous than I needed, but I suspect after wearing a few times, the material will conform to my shape a little better. The enhancement is a little more subtle than the Ergowear Bikini.

MANstore Bungee Up Pant (see through sheer black / day-glo green trim)WPuwTR3s
A fine, see through mesh trunk with highlighting seams around the pouch. The rear, vertical seam is the same bright colour.
Pros: Bordering on outrageous. The colour contrast between the black mesh and the day-glo piping makes it impossible not to look and your cock. It’s also a softer mesh than the Clever Moda Pop Boxer.
Cons: As with most mesh, this probably needs to be washed carefully.
Enhancement: Other than the visual lure of the seams, the cut of the pouch certainly gives good lift. And the rear seam sits snugly between your cheeks, though whilst the mesh is see through, the dark colour does disguise some of your butt curves.

————

All of these briefs, trunks and strings are good pieces of underwear. The Ergowear undoubtedly provide the most enhancement, with the MANstore coming a close second. Other than that it’s just down to personal taste and how eye catching you want to be when saying Hello girls.

[Note to self: Now all I need to do is get down the gym and work towards having buns of steel, so I look better in all of these!]

4 Responses to “Hello girls”

  1. Like the way the 1st pair looks but yes need to get this butt to a van damme status 🙂

    • Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my memory is an hazy image of JCvD’s naked arse. (I can’t remember the film … though with his acting talent’s that’s not remotely surprising!) I think I’d be quite happy having an arse that looked half that toned.

  2. interesting collection…
    but disappointed no butt views

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: