The aftermath

When my Wife got home from work nothing was said about the text conversation. No surprise there.
My balls still ached, badly enough that the vast majority of my horniness was displaced hours ago.
I went off into the Big Smoke and networked successfully (I think).
About 10pm I got a text from my Wife saying “It’s no good. Cant stay awake. Going to bed.” As I was at best 90min from home, and there were folk I still needed to talk to, there was no way She was going to be up for a fuck by the time I got home.
When I eventually did, She stirred, we spoke briefly, but nothing significant was mentioned and we both went to sleep with our backs to each other. My balls still ached.

Saturday morning comes and at 6:00am I’m awake. It’s too dark to tell whether it’s time to get up. My balls still ache, and my head’s not in the right place for sex anyway. Or more precisely, not in the right place for us to have sex. I consider sneaking out of bed. She stirs, realizes I’m awake, goes to the bathroom, and on Her return snuggles up to me.

We cuddle, but I make sure my hands tell Her hands they should stay away from my cock and balls … which still ache.

We talk. Not at length, and not easily. We talk about (roughly in this order) …

She was pleased to know I’d wanted Her.
She didn’t know how to respond to my text other that it’s fine.
It’s nice to cuddle. To be intimate. We haven’t for too long.
It’s been easier for me to not have sex than to keep getting it wrong.
The massive gap between us sexually.
We are putting a lot of pressure on ourselves.
We are taking small steps but there’s a huge chasm to cross.
We’re getting on a lot better than we were a year ago (on a non sexual level) –  before we saw a relationship councilor. That had probably helped to some degree.
She raises the issue of getting someone to help now. (She means a sex therapist.) I suggest that I don’t think She’ll be comfortable talking to someone about sex. (She’s said as much on more than one occasion.) She agrees, but says She might be able to get comfortable with it, and if that’s what it takes …
She want’s us to have sex regularly, even if it’s not as regularly as I’d like. I say I don’t think we’ll ever have sex as often as I’d like. (I’m not being snide – I just need to tell Her how much I do want sex.)
It’s good that we’re talking, and we should keep this momentum.

The radio alarm switches on, and it’s time to get up. My balls still ache.

She gets down to breakfast first, and when I walk into the kitchen I make a point of letting Her see me popping pills. She asks if they’re painkillers and I confirm. She doesn’t ask what for. I want to find a way to tell Her it’s because my balls still ache (not to blackmail Her into sex, but so She’s armed with the facts). I will doubtless need to take more painkillers today, and I shall make sure She sees this, and hopefully She’ll ask why. Considering it probably won’t just be we adults in the room, I have my response prepared – I ache for you.

And I do.

7 Responses to “The aftermath”

  1. At least you had a successful evening before you wandered home. And you are communicating about sex.
    Whereas, unusually for me, I declined the opportunity to be taken roughly on the kitchen table, takes more than that to fix this…

  2. I would love for someone to say to me, “I ache for you.” Your Wife is a lucky woman, to be longed for and especially to be longed for by Her husband. It doesn’t usually work that way. Not for me anyway.

    Hope you are in less pain by now.

    Bisous,
    Dawn

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