One step back, one step forward.

An hour before the alarm was due and we were both awake. (There are so many repetitive patterns in our lives.)
My dick twitched.

I put my hand on Her back, and She lay there for a moment before getting out of bed and going to the bathroom.
A good sign.
My dick twitched.

On Her return, She cuddled up straight away, though Her hands stayed well above my waist.
My dick twitched.

I put my hand on Her arse, but didn’t stroke.
Stillness from both of us. Perhaps this morning was just a time for intimacy, not sex.
My dick twitched.
The duvet twitched with it, moving against Her arm.


Her: Do you need any attention?
Me: That depends on what you mean by need. And attention.
Her: I know you prefer it when it’s both of us but I’m not sure I have the energy.
Me: I’d rather wait till you have the energy.

We paused in silence for a minute.

She rolled over, away from me.
My dick still twitched.
I gathered my thoughts and got up.

As I made everyone’s breakfasts and packed lunches I assessed the conversation: I need to start being more proactive about fixing us. I should have let Her give me a hand job. She was obviously prepared to do so.

She was in the shower when I went back upstairs and sat outside the bathroom door waiting for Her. (Usually Her first port of call is the kids bedroom and I wanted to have a conversation about wanking and fucking before younger ears would get in the way.)
She emerged from the bathroom …
Me: I should have said yes and should have said thank you, so sorry.
Her: No need to apologise. It’s not a problem.
Me: You turned away.
Her: No I didn’t. I just needed to move my shoulder.
There was a pause.
Her: You’re going to need something twice as often as I am …

And then I tried to explain why it’s important to me to cum in Her cunt, not just when She tossed me off. Somehow, amidst my efforts to avoid explicitly sexual language (like cum, cunt and tossing me off) which might make Her uncomfortable, I wasn’t making myself clear. She didn’t understand so I tried again. In the sort of words that fall naturally from my lips.
Me: I can easily cum from a wank, but a lot of times I don’t cum when we fuck. It’s important to me that we both cum when we fuck. When you wank me it’s still a hand. I don’t know whether me cumming from wanking is getting in the way of me cumming when we fuck, but it might.
She seemed to understand and not be unhappy about that.

8 Responses to “One step back, one step forward.”

  1. That picture is killing me … in a nice way.

  2. I agree with Jayne, quite a nice photo. It seems like communication between you has gotten so much better! I’m happy for you. I know it is hard but I see progress.

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