The good, the bad, and the I-really-don’t-fucking-get-it

I hope you’ve been keeping up over the last few days, Dear Reader, because I’m struggling to do so.

Two hours before the alarm was due to spoil the morning we were both awake. (I apologise for the increasingly predictable starts to some of my recent posts.) She got up and went to the bathroom. It was early, really early, and as She had said She was too tired to fuck only yesterday there seemed no point in hoping for a shag.

When She came back to bed She snuggled up and it was only a minute or two before Her fingers started to head south.

The Good

Ok. Game on.

There was a faltering start where my hand was stopped because She was ticklish. I backed off, paused, and a few minutes later foreplay was restarted.

She climbed aboard, and despite not being particularly well lubricated, She sank down onto my cock.
We fucked.

Having brushed a boob earlier, resulting in a subtle shift of the shoulders, I instinctively stayed away from Her tits. I  didn’t really want to mess this up.

The Bad

Whilst thrusting my cock into Her and grasping at Her arse my fingers strayed too close to Her snatch, and my Hand was firmly discouraged.

My mood swung in the wrong direction.

I fucked Her.
Or more precisely I fucked me with Her cunt.
And I came.
Job done.
Such was my mood.

We disentangled, and finding a handful of tissues wasn’t sufficient to clean up, She went to the bathroom.

When She returned, She snuggled up, but I was cold. Not thermally, but emotionally. There’s something about being stopped from touching Her … erogenous zones? … except somehow they’re not Her erogenous zones … that completely derails my enthusiasm for sex with my Wife. But let’s not delve into that issue right now, Dear Reader, just bear with me a moment longer. The fact that I didn’t want to engage with Her wasn’t because I’d got what I needed and was done with Her, but rather, yet again, out of a sense of being told off for getting something wrong. Yes, I know I knew what I was doing, but it’s what I’ve done with a dozen other women and IT’S FUCKING NORMAL! [AM takes a deep, calming breath and carries on typing.]

Her: Are you OK?
Me: Yes.
… long pause …
Her: Was the sex good?
Me: Yes.
… long pause …

The I-really-don’t-fucking-get-it

Her: Normally when you cum you want to know whether I have.
… long pause …
I was pretty confident She hadn’t, and considering my dick was ostensibly spent, and I’m not allowed to masturbate Her, let alone go down on Her, and considering my head’s not in a space particularly conducive to intimacy, is there any point in asking? So She hasn’t cum. What am I supposed to do about it.
Her: … because I’d be happy to today
I hope I’m not the only one who’s a little confused at this point, Dear Reader.

So I put my arm back round Her and start to tentatively stroke Her arse. It’s one of the few things that seem to fall under the category of My Wife’s Erogenous Zones That I’m Allowed To Touch.
She responds by draping a leg across me and grinding Her mound against my thigh.
I ran my hand up the back of Her leg.
Her: I’ll turn over so I you can reach better.
I hope I’m not the only one who’s a little confused again at this point, Dear Reader.

We spoon, and She spread her legs.
I don’t know about you, Dear Reader, but at this point I really don’t know what the fuck is going on. Am I supposed to finger her pussy or not?

I put my hand on the front of Her thigh and my fingers grazed against Her bush.
Her crotch rose to meet my hand.
Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?

I moved my other hand to stroke a tit.
It wasn’t obstructed.

With Her legs wedged apart by mine, She hooked Her foot round behind and under me.
I lifted my leg, spreading Her’s apart further, and She didn’t seem to object.

While my tit hand squeezed and kneaded, my pussy hand ventured lower.
Slowly.
Nervously.
Constantly expecting to be met by a spasm of displeasure.
It never came.

I cupped my fingers around Her sex and massaged gently.
No objection.

My finger circled Her nipple.
She was still wearing Her night shirt, but pulled it up, removing the interruption between my hand and Her flesh.

I was taking no chances, so moved my hand from Her quim, giving Her a break, and stoked Her inner thigh.
Although there was no major protestation, this apparently didn’t garner approval.

I returned to stroking Her twat.
She arched so that my hand moved further between Her legs. Finger tips advanced along Her slit. I even sensed my touch against Her inner petals as they peeped out.

But I’m not stupid, Dear Reader. As much as I’d have like to slip my fingers into Her hole, no, I’m not that fucking stupid!
I backed off a little.

My fingers stayed bound together. Curved like a spoon. Fixed to the shape of Her body. Undulating against Her mons.
She writhed. But not in a way that suggested She wanted to break free.

I squeezed Her breast harder, applying just a little twist to it’s crowning nub.
More pressure between Her legs.
She pushed back.
Quicker.
Firmer.
More insistent.

And then She moaned, once, quietly. And wriggled.
Her hand clamped down on my wrist.
This time the wriggle and the hand clearly said STOP!
I froze. Hands still in place.
My tit hand was left alone, but my pussy hand was brought upwards by an a few inches. Just enough for my finger tips to almost clear Her pubes.

She sighed deeply and snuggled further in against me. And dozed off to sleep.

Considering how this sex started, can someone please tell me what the fuck just happened, because it really is beyond me. The closest I can come to an approximation is an unconventional fuck first, foreplay second.

24 Responses to “The good, the bad, and the I-really-don’t-fucking-get-it”

  1. Oh AM! I wish I had a good idea to share with you. I think I don’t get your Wife either. Sex is weird, brings out the weirdness in people. Letting go is hard, not letting go is hard (sucks)…

    As far as I am aware of, no one tries harder than you do. She is lucky to have such a patient man. If I ever meet Her, I’ll tell Her so. It’s quite unlikely that even we will meet in 3D, so I know I will not be able to tell her how fortunate She really is. Hélas. 😉

    Bisous from the other side,
    Dawn

  2. Oh my… well it sounds like she’s trying to open up but isn’t sure how to. That’s my best guess though.

  3. I was thinking that MAYBE she was wanting to first of all, “relieve” you and that’s why she wanted to cum afterwards, which I thought you were so giving considering how you thought/felt. I thought how nice it was for her to be able to ask you considering how things are but I only have your side…meaning, I don’t understand why she has her aversions. They have to be rooted in some fucked up belief because YOU aren’t doing anything but wanting to pleasure her. IMO. I also was thinking, IF she was open to it, you guys might be at a good point to see one of those sex therapists because I do not get her disapproval to you touching her. Thats what really bugs you – somethings up there. Can I just say something good? – You’re getting laid quite a bit. ; ) xo, J

    • Yeah, that’s 3 fucks and hand job in 8 days. I really shouldn’t be complaining!!! BUT … and it’s a big BUT… it counts for little if it only lasts a couple of weeks and we never sort things out properly.
      That might sound pessimistic, but I’d rather think of it as pragmatism: long term vs short term. My worry is that we ride this wave, get caught by a gnarly rip tide and wipe out on the reef before we reach the beach.
      Time will tell. Stay tuned y’all.

    • I would be thinking exactly like you state here. I admire your persistence AM and your pragmatism. I can’t really get an accurate take from this 2 dimensional spot but it just seems like your sweetheart needs another way to look at whatever might be bothering her about your touching her. It’s her inner issue that affects you in a deep way. Knowing your past stories, I would bet my left nut that it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with you. Like Dawn said, she’s lucky to have you. xo,J

    • “… bet my left nut …” Is there something about your profile I’ve missed? Jayne?

    • I was trying relate. I don’t have any…have you seen SnarkySnatch’s post about the girlfriend rubbing her guys balls after great sex? She does it for an hour. He asks why she does that and she answers “Because I miss mine” lol

    • Ha ha. Yeah. That would be … err … an interesting moment.

  4. I wonder, I wonder….I wonder if she had an orgasm when you said she moaned? I wonder if she has always been like this? (aversive seeming to your touch) Or is she extremely sensitive? I only ask because I have extremely sensitive nipples and clit. To the point that if I’m not completely turned on, then it not only hurts, it is also irritating? This is not a problem with my Master and I because he knows this about me. We talk a lot about sex. Just some thoughts.

    • Are you saying you think Her moan was or wasn’t an orgasm?
      I was assuming it was, but now you’ve got me wondering whether She was faking. I don’t think it was, but aparently we men have been getting fooled for years.
      You make a very interesting point about sensitivity, and my next scheduled post (actually written some months back) considers precisely that.

    • I was thinking that perhaps she did have an orgasm. If you don’t know, perhaps ask her. You can only trust that she did or why put forth the effort? Have you ever talked to her about why she pushes your hand away?

    • I was pretty sure She came. It was just your question that briefly raised some doubt in my mind.
      No, we’ve never talked about why She pushes my hand away. We’ve never talked about sex in any detail really.

  5. Am a newbie reader, please excuse the if it’s a silly question: Why can’t you just ask her? It’s just that, I sometimes wish my partner would ask me and listen to how I would like (or not) to be touched…

    • There’s not a short answer to that, unfortunately.
      Communication is not our strong point. Even when we went through months of marriage counseling, away from the sessions we didn’t discuss the issues.
      I think it’s fare to say that I’m afraid of asking and She’s afraid of answering. And I think the key is not so much how She does or doesn’t like to be touched, but why. Though obviously that’s all what I think, and if I asked I might stand a chance of knowing. (I am aware of the irony.)

    • Here is an idea to try. Perhaps finding or making up a questionnaire about sex might you give you all some insight since you are too afraid to have face to face discussions. Here is one that I just found by googling. You could print off 2 copies. One for you and one for her and ask her if she would be willing to fill them out and exchange them. Don’t give her yours until you have hers. Maybe this would be an easier, less scary way to communicate?

      http://www.oneextraordinarymarriage.com/19-questions-to-amazing-sex-with-your-spouse

    • (Sometimes when I respond to suggestions like this I fear I may be seen as contrary, dismissive or terminally pessimistic. I hope that is not the impression I give.)

      Whilst completing sex questionnaires might indeed be productive, that would require us to have a conversation about completing sex questionnaires first.

      I find this particular one a little puzzling:
      How can we romance each other during the day? What ways do you show me that you are initiating sex? Share with me the touch(es) that make you orgasm. These are questions for a couple having intimacy issues.
      Is anal sex something you would be willing to try? This is most definitely not.
      Even talking about frequency and sex toys is a significant step ahead of How would you like to be held before, during, and after sex?

    • Don’t worry about the impression you give, only worry about what you want to say. 🙂 Some of your reply I didn’t understand, so forgive me if I ask, I ask only with the intention of trying to help. Yes, you are correct about having to have a conversation about a questionnaire, but perhaps it only needs to be as short and simple as, “I found these questions on the internet, would you be willing to fill these out and exchange?” And what have you got to lose? Either she will say yes, or she will say no. And no is already what you get, true? The questionnaire that I found may not work for you. But why assume that the frequency and sex toys are a significant step ahead of How would you like to be held before, during, and after sex? I don’t think so at all. Maybe there is more you don’t know about her. Perhaps she is not getting something that she actually desires, but since she doesn’t get it, sex isn’t worth it to her? I think the more you know, the more you have to work with. My husband used to constantly ask me questions, “What do you think about _____?” It really helped us to have an awesome sex life. I actually suggest that you make your own and print two copies. it might help you and her.

    • I’ve types three separate answers and I’m afraid I don’t think any have successfully conveyed why suggesting a survey is not a trivial task.

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