Trouble finishing

Sleep seemed illusive last night.

A year or two ago, I was struck by a particularly virulent bout of insomnia. Having had her suggestions of turning the light on and reading, or listening to the radio, (I saw no need to risk spoiling Her night too) my Wife asked What would you do if I wasn’t here? The obvious, honest, and potentially more productive answer would have been have a wank, but I mumbled something non committal and the conversation died.

In the last few weeks, when struggling to sleep, I’ve resorted to an old fashioned technique. Counting.
Not counting sheep, but as good as. If I’m struggling to sleep it’s frequently because my mind is full of clutter, and focussing on numbers – just sequentially, from 1 to 100 and back, stops me thinking about other crap and I have yet to need three repetitions.

Or until last night.
It wasn’t working.
And I wasn’t sleeping.

I reflected on my Wife’s question, and reached for my cock. I stroked my shaft, polished my helmet with slippery pre-cum, tugged at my balls, and I could feel an orgasm creeping up on me.
She stirred.
Not much, but enough to induce the mindless atrophy of my busy hands.
A few seconds passed, Her breathing returned to the steady rhythm of dreams, and my hand returned to the steady rhythm of masturbation.
But as again I thought I was about to wantonly spill my juices over the bed linen, She stirred again.

I gave up.

I considered other tactics. And sexually unsatisfied as I was, rather than numbers, I started contemplating letters.

Anal sex
Blowjob
Clitoris
Dildo
Ejaculate
Frigid
Gimp suit
Humping
Intercourse
Jism
Kinky
Labia
Masturbation
Nookie (Non UK residents may not be familiar with this one, but it’s a general term for sexual shenanigans that has largely fallen out of use.)
Oral sex
Penis
Quickie
Rubber
Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex
Tits
Undinism
Vagina
Wank
XXX rated
Y… Damn! I wasstuck. I couldn’t think of any sexy words beginning with Y.
Z… and Z was just impossible.

Not only could I not finish myself off, I couldn’t even finish the alphabet off.

12 Responses to “Trouble finishing”

  1. Alright, two very different reactions here. The first one when I saw your name pop into my inbox. I was all “yeah!! AM is back!”
    And then I read your post and felt sorry for you. I wish there was something I could help with, but I had to look up a few of the words you used (thank you for expanding my vocabulary 😉 ), I don’t think I can offer any words to help you end the alphabet. At least not in English. 😉

    As for insomnia, one thing that worked for me was to do some stretches. I mean: get up, and perform a few yoga postures. Add a few vigorous arm and leg movements (as in squats) to take the blood into the limbs and away from the brain. If I followed this by some gentle meditation, focusing on my breathing, I found it helped go back to sleep.
    Though I must say it seems that you need to address the thoughts that are bothering you. What brings on the insomnia? I found that I was having trouble going to sleep at night but not for naps… If I looked into the possible reasons why, I realised at one point there was someone in my bed, and at the other one there was just me…
    I haven’t suffered from insomnia since I am in my new house. Not to say that I haven’t stayed up unduly late doing nothing in particular! But when I turn off the lights, I can go to sleep in no time. And I don’t tend to wake up at night, or if I do, I can go back to sleep in a snap.

    Good luck with your insomnia and the rest… XO

    • Fret not. It’s not insomnia – just too much work. Too many hours working and the brain keeps working when my head hits the pillow.
      I’ve tried meditation and it doesn’t work for me, but I think counting works in a very similar way.

    • Well, it doesn’t matter what induces it, “Insomnia, or sleeplessness, is a sleep disorder in which there is an inability to fall asleep or to stay asleep as long as desired.” (Wikipedia)…
      I had tried just meditation, and it didn’t work for me either, because when I couldn’t go to sleep because of an overactive brain, I just couldn’t shut those thoughts out, or HAD to follow them rather than be able to simply observe them. But I noticed that with some mild physical exercise before hand, then I could indeed just relax and follow my breathing.
      Yes, counting makes you focus on something else than the thoughts in your head (I know, it helps me, though not with sleep 😉 ). But I’m sure that trying to find words to match every letter would get my mind working again, instead of numbing it. Not about work, but working still… 🙂

  2. Yes.
    Zipper.

    Bises,
    Dawn

  3. revealedwoman Says:

    Why, oh why, couldn’t you have finished the alphabet?
    I have just spent ‘hours’ trying to find x and y words.
    I tried urban dictionary but too many non-sex related words.
    Tried google and came up with sex-lexis.com
    So, when you can’t sleep tonight, do your research and provide us with the missing words and finish the job!
    ps X wasn’t a very impressive attempt, you can do better than that…
    Sleep well AM 😉

    • Do my research? Pah! If I was in a position to do my research at the time, I would have been in front of a laptop and not in bed next to my Wife. And then I wouldn’t have needed to count or play with words because I could have comfortably tossed myself off in peace!

      Sorry to have disappointed you with X. These were, however, the first words that came to my mind. I can come up with other words for most of the alphabet (even Q) but that wasn’t the point.

  4. i like how resourceful your mind was in finding another activity other than numbers!
    Yum, Yelp
    zoftig zoftig: adjective (of a female body) healthily plump and vigorous ; “a generation ago…buxom actresses were popular”- Robt.A.Hamilton; [syn: buxom]

  5. for future reference….xenophilia and zerophilia. Not the sexiest of sexual terms, but nice for us with OCD who can’t quit the alphabet game without a proper word to use.

    • If my very limited knowledge of Greek and etymology serves me well, Xenophilia is an excellent word: sexual desire for strangers. I’m a little stuck with zerophilia: sexual desire nothing or WWII Japanese fighter planes?

      • very good with Xenophilia, gold star for the day 🙂 Zerophilia is a rare genetic condition affecting those who possess an extra “z” chromosome, in addition to the standard gender determining X and Y chromosomes. Following the first experience of sexual intercourse, Zerophiliacs may change gender whenever they are sexually aroused.

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