Should I tell?

Me : Should I tell Her?
Dear Reader : Of course you should! By the way, just what are we talking about here?
Me : About my My little wooden chest of naughty secrets and my thong collection.
Dear Reader : Of course you should tell Her, you idiot. These are the things that you enjoy and define you sexually and to deprive yourself of your own pleasure is crazy. She needs to know who you are sexually and you are being disloyal to yourself if you do not. Tell Her. Tell Her! Tell Her!!!
Me : I think we may have had this conversation before.

And you know what, Dear Reader, today, there’s a big part of me

that’s motivated to tell her about MLWCONS. If our discussions about rediscovering our sex life, or rather creating a satisfactory sex life for ourselves ever come to anything, for the first time I can see myself setting the chest on the bed and giving Her the key. Or if I were to start with smaller ambitions, I can almost see myself showing Her the contents of the back row of my underwear drawer, and even putting putting the pink lace manties and purple rubber thong in amongst the conventional fabric thongs, pouches and g-strings.

For the first time I actually want to do both.
I actually want my Wife to know that underwear most men would feel feminised by makes me feel sexy, as does having my balls waxed, that I like porn, I own male masturbators, I like sex toys up my arse, and weights bolted round my balls, and being teased with handcuffs and chastity cages.
I actually want Her to know who I am sexually.
I actually want to tell Her.

Maybe it was because She seemed perfectly happy fingering my arsehole that all of a sudden I feel the winds of liberation starting to blow.
And maybe I won’t tell Her. But I think I actually really want to.

13 Responses to “Should I tell?”

  1. Well, you know where I stand 😉
    It’s a bit eerie actually to read the conversation we could have had in this post!
    Good luck when you tell her. But not telling her only means that you will remain frustrated…

    • I assume you’re referring to the opening salvo of my post, as opposed to the conversation you could have had with your partner?
      If I don’t tell Her, I’m frustrated, and my desires are largely unsated.
      If I do tell Her, I could end up being rejected, permanently frustrated and completely unsated.
      Life is full of gambles. I hope we go to a sex therapists, not only so I can get in my Wife’s knickers more often, but also so that We can both figure out what’s going on in Her head and We can make sex for Her better and more fun, as well as having an opportunity facilitated to out my kinks. We shall see.

    • Yes, you are right, I was referring to the opening salvo of your post.
      I did try to tell my ex about some things I wanted to try, like spanking. He tried it once, decided it was too much of a strain on him and gave up.
      He knew about anal sex, or at least I’d asked him a couple of times in the course of our marriage, but he deemed this dirty, never even wanting to try it.
      I think that the spanking bit, and mostly his reaction to it, just giving up rather than trying to talk about it, find out what I liked in it, why I wanted to try it, or ways to make it work for him as well as me… that was the day I realised this is never going to change, it’s always all going to be about him. :-/

      Of course, you are right. If you tell, she may reject you completely. But I guess you will never know whether there is a chance of her accepting you as you are if you don’t try.
      The misery associated with not trying, you know it already.
      Telling at least holds the possibility that you won’t end up miserable but rather that it initiates a discussion at least, and possible acceptance of at least some of them…

      I do hope for you that you go to a sex therapist. It would indeed make it easier to out your kinks, having a third party there who will not judge you, that is really helpful.

    • When it’s hard to find internet porn that doesn’t include anal, it amazes me that there are still men who shouldn’t want to try buggering their wives. But I guess we’re all freaks one way of another.

      I think the biggest way my kinks could cause problems is if my Wife decided to out an end to the marriage because of them. That would be disastrous in so many ways, and not worth the cost. Even though I think it is only an outside chance.

    • You cannot know whether this confession would lead to your marriage ending. You can never know until you try.
      Obviously, we know way too little to even comment on whether a divorce would be the worst or the best thing for you, if your wife rejects your kinks.
      I just hope for you that you find peace and acceptance.

    • I don’t think the revaluation would destroy the marriage, but it’s a possibility that can’t be completely ignored.

    • No, it can’t be completely ignored.
      Which is why having it in a place where you feel safe with someone else around may make it easier…

    • My thinking also. Sometimes.

    • Hang in there.

  2. It’s just my outsider opinion but you might want to be gentle – introduce a little at a time with her. She seems to have made a big step but be careful not to overwhelm her with so much “new” sexuality all at once. It seems that feeling alone, of wanting to tell her anything is liberating. It makes me happy!! xo, Jayne

    • Fair point. Though my enthusiasm has waned dramatically in the last few hours. Let’s see if we talk to a sex therapist and take it from there.

    • Even though it will shake things up, a sex therapist would be a big step forward. It can only help you and her see things differently. After so many married years, it must be difficult to even take a step. (It was for me anyway) Whatever it is, I hope it’s good for you. xo, J

  3. […] I know the question you’re asking, Regular Reader: I though AM said he wanted to out himself with his  MLWCONS and the contents of his underwear drawer. Why wouldn’t he want this […]

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