Wedding day blues

We’re off to a wedding.
Time for celebration.
Not only that but two days away from the stresses of home, in a swanky hotel, and thanks to the Granny & Grandpa, with no child-sized distractions.
Any normal couple would be thinking of long lie-ins, soaking in the bath together with glasses of wine, and keeping the poor folk in the next room awake as the headboard thumps against the wall all night.
And that’s certainly what’s going through my mind.
Except …

Except it’s going through my mind because I know that’s not what we’re going to do.
I will not be packing my favourite underwear.
I do not expect my wife to be packing my favourite underwear.
And in the unlikely event there’s any suggestion of sex, I expect to turn it down.
Really.
In the unlikely event that there is any conversation about this, I expect it to fall somewhere between heated and heartbreaking.
And it will be, at least in part, my fault.

It minds me of a song lyric which works it’s way into my consciousness far to often. “My own worst enemy” by Lit

It’s no surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy
Cos every now and then
I kick the living shit outta me

But hey, I beat myself up about shit. Don’t we all. That’s why we’re sex bloggers, isn’t it Dear Reader.
The fact that I have given up hope of ever having sex again should be cathartic.
The fact that I keep going back to the thought that I want to have a sexual relationship with my Wife …
The fact that if sex is suggested I’ll probably do the rejecting …
It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy, cos every now and then I kick the living shit outta me.

And then one of Lit’s other songs came to mind.

You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable.


Ok,completely miserable is over stating things quite a lot – my life is pretty damned comfortable compared to many, largely thanks to us being married – but as we head off to wish the happy couple many blissful years together, I can’t help reflect on how those three lines represent the historical arc of so many relationships.
You cum.
You’re complete.
You’re completely miserable.

On the up side, there’s a sexy woman in a bikini in the video. Whoop whoop yaaaay!
And on the philosophic up side, sex is done. Over. And if I can just come to terms with that, relax into it, the world will be a better place. (And, in moments of clarity, I truly believe that.)

14 Responses to “Wedding day blues”

  1. Oh, AM! I’m sorry. 😦
    Well, enjoy the wedding :-/

  2. What would happen if you just rolled her over and forcibly started to have sex with her? What would she do?

  3. MySideOfTheStreet Says:

    Hugs, darlin.

  4. AM, this is heartbreaking! There has to be some hope for us miserable folk…

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