My balls in Her hands

When we talked yesterday, there were two thing said that were particularly noteworthy. (Well, there were quite a few actually, but most of them have been said before.)

1. Mornings
When I wake up earlier than my Wife, which is pretty regularly, I often get up and leave Her to sleep. (What She doesn’t know is that often, I’ll go down to the kitchen, make myself a cup of tea, and browse some porn on my smartphone while I toss myself off. And She probably won’t ever know that either.)

Yesterday She suggested that, on such occasions, I should find out if She’s awake, as it would be a good time to fuck if She is. My reservation here is the number of times I’ve done something similar … and my hand has been pushed away and She’s pulled the duvet up over Her head to hide from the morning and my advances. But it’s Her idea, so maybe we’ll try it.

2. Contraception
For what I think is the last 3yrs or so, my Wife has had a sub-dermal contraceptive implant in Her arm. I’ve read that loss of libido is rare as a result of such hormone based medication, but She mentioned the possibility and, if nothing else, there is strong clinical evidence for the power of the placebo – if She thinks it might mute Her libido, then it may well do so because She thinks it might. Anyway, apparently She’s due to see Her GP about the implant soon and said She’d ask about the implications of both renewing it or changing to an IUD.


That conversation was yesterday.
This morning I woke up horny and early.
I thought about getting out of bed.
I thought about turning towards Her and putting a suggesting hand on Her thigh.
It was early. Too early. So I rolled over onto my front and squashed my erection against the mattress.
Half an hour or so later, I was still awake and my restlessness obviously disturbed my Wife. She rolled towards me and, noticing my wood, curled Her fingers under my balls. And all the stress that goes with our sex life filled my head. The flesh was willing but the spirit was angst ridden?

So we talked again. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing worthy of great note. Other than …

She’d mentioned an IUD. And I’d been thinking about this.
When it comes to young men going out on the pull there is much talk about encouraging them to take responsibility for contraception and not leaving it up to women.
Why should my Wife be responsible for our contraception? Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I … have a vasectomy, I suggested?

I can think of at least two reasons why this may not be the best solution.
1. I’ve told you before about my occasional affliction with Blue Balls. I’ve not done any reading on male sterilisation, but as I understand it, Blue Balls is a result of pressure building up in the testicles, and if you start tieing knots in your vas deferens, what are the implications for that pressure building up?
2. What if, by coming off contraceptive hormones, my Wife regains Her libido, and by having a vasectomy I lose mine? I don’t think that is likely, but without more research I do wonder if it’s possible. And quite frankly I like being horny all the time … or I would if I had a half decent sex life again. Neither of us though me getting the snip would be necessary or desirable, considering other options, but the offer is there. The future of my balls may be in Her hands.

22 Responses to “My balls in Her hands”

  1. The biggest reason I can think of is that what you are considering isn’t contraception per se but sterilisation. So you have to be certain that you will never regret it.
    My gyn used to ask me every year if I wanted to have my tubes tied rather than pursue othe contraceptive means. My response to him was always “No. What if for one reason or another I want to be pregnant again? What if something happens to my marriage, I meet someone else and they don’t have children of their own and want one?”
    So only do it if you’re certain you don’t, won’t ever, want another child.

    This said, I commend you for the thought!

    • I’ve thought about the permanent nature of a vasectomy before. And I confess there is a degree of doubt in my mind. Life is a gamble, and if it were guaranteed to result in a proper sexual relationship … On the other hand …

    • You are very right. Life is a gamble. But there are other options that are less definitive.
      This said, as Marian was saying… increased libido and you? I pity your wife 😉

      But a proper sexual relationship is always something to look forward to. It’s a tough decision, one only you can make for yourself, with a little help from your spouse… But eventually, it has to be your decision.

    • You pity my Wife at the thought of me wanting to fuck Her more often? Gee thanks 😉

    • No, I think your libido is high enough as is… I’m not sure she needs to go from none to 10 times a week in no time 😉

    • How I dream of 10 times a week. I’d be happy with 10 times a month rather than less than 10 times a year. I’ve never quite managed 10 times in a day, but I’d happily give it a go again. But you’re right – I think She’d need need a bit of practice first … and a whole lot of KY!

    • Yes, don’t forget KY 😉

  2. Based on my experience with men who’ve had vasectomies… there is no blue ball effect. You’ll see why when you do the research. The “stuff” that causes that feeling is still pumped out when you come. It’s just pumped without the swimmies. And two… libido was higher afterwards. I think just knowing that there is no danger of having unwanted pregnancies make it so much more about the act itself. So my two cents… : )

  3. MySideOfTheStreet Says:

    I’m glad you two seem to be making progress 🙂

  4. does she have any medical issues?
    for me, i have been sick with an autoimmune disorder for 23 yrs and if i take any kind of hormone inducing or changing products..

    i get ill! i lose all libido due to being in worse pain than normal and sometimes i will have the body be horny but the mind not or the reverse… almost like my subconscious is more in control than i am

    for me, i cant be on the pill (in any form and some made me seriously mental as well as moody), i have to use a copper iud but i am worried about it after being on a year

    cramps are worse but over all i am ok on it but i worry about it moving during rough sex an getting lodged somewhere and causing damage

    like i said about having an autoimunne disorder, i cant take anything that changes the hormones… no herbs (fennel or echinacea …etc), i have to be careful with all kinds of medications and doctors trying to be helpful

    part of her low libido could be depression, some of the pills or implants or injections will cause that, make you seem not like yourself

    one thing i found was donating blood reallllly cleared my body and made me feel me again… so maybe she doesnt need to do that but maybe changing diet would help

    if you need any help you can message me on facebook and i will give you my email ( shalla radiolady )

    • Thanks very much for yiur thoughts. Some onteresting points.
      Although I’ve blogged about our marriage, especially it’s sexual dysfunction, on many occasions, much of what you ask falls into the post I’ve yet to finish – the final chapter of Wonen I’ve slept with. Assuming I dont get it publishable any time soon, i guess its easiest to say i think there are probably various issues for Her, and indeed us: none are insumountable, but together they form a critical mass.
      (FYI WP has already supplied me with a gmail address for you as part of the comment system.)

    • yeah, wordpress is ninja for me, i have no idea how to get the email address :p

  5. sassygirl40 Says:

    Honestly, if contraception if impacting your wife’s libido I vote vasectomy. I have not heard of the V having any effect with “blue balls” and it’s a simple procedure for most men with a short recovery time. Of course, if you are hoping to procreate then don’t do the V.

    Can I ask why you don’t tell your wife about your morning activity when she is unavailable to assist with your morning needs?? I know other men who hide from their spouses the fact that they get off to porn when sex is not readily available and I’m not sure why it’s something to hide. I hope my husband is getting off to porn, or even just his imagination, as I don’t give him sex. With my lover, he uses porn daily to satisfy myself and I couldn’t imagine him hiding this fact from me.

    • From what I’ve read, i think I’m safe in assuming you have a not insignificant libido, have masturbated on a not infrequent basis and are not opposed to poenography. None of these things I can confidently say abiut my Wife. She knows we are juxtaposed in terms of libido, and that I masturbate. I doubt She has really thought about how often I toss myself off, but I can’t believe She is unaware of how often I wake up with a boner. If She has contemplated my use of porn, I do not know, but consisering She is unlikely to be comfirtable with that knowledge, and potentially feel preasured by more detailed knowledge of my wanking schedule, I see little merit in heaping coals on the fire.
      But yes, we should indeed talk more about sex.

  6. Gotta throw my .02 in… M had a vasectomy when I was pregnant with our third child, who just turned four. They gave him a few Ativan, took him into surgery, and we left the hospital less than an hour later. Absolutely no issues, and like Marian said, if anything his libido increased a bit due to no fear of pregnancy. As far as performance goes, I can’t tell a difference. Look, feel, consistency, all the same. I’d even go as far as saying it tastes better, but we’ve increased pineapple intake, so the taste may have nothing to do with being snipped.

    A quick word of caution about IUDs. Depending on the style, many still have the same hormones as regular birth control pills and implants, so that may not fix anything. Also, my bff got pregnant with her IUD in, and it’s not nearly as rare as they’d like you to believe.

    She should talk to her OB/GYN (not sure what you call them on your side of the pond) and discuss the options. Birth control hormones have a huge impact on libido, and sometimes they even give Depo to sex offenders in prison to help null their sex drive (weird right, a double whammy birth control).

    That being said, I’m working a natural ways to increase libido type post. I’ll spam her email with it if you want me to. 🙂

    xoxo dear friend. And keep that dick in hand.

    • Thanks Caitlyn. Your input is much apreciated.
      Re Spam. Youre offer is very tempting, but id be nervous of the paper trail that might bring Her round here!
      Rest assured, n’er a day passes when my dick is not in hand. 😉

  7. Ok, I’m a dork, but as soon as I posted that comment, I thought of this song, and didn’t know if you’d ever heard it. Made me think of you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: