I shouldn’t be surprised

She said I should see if She’s awake when I’m awake and horny significantly before the alarm clock breaks the peace.
This morning I did.
It’s been a week since we fucked, and considering it’s only about 10 days since, out of the blue, she presented Herself to me in “The Red”, it must be nearly two weeks since I’ve tossed myself off. The last couple of days my (blue) balls have let me know in no uncertain terms that the situation needed to be rectified. But I’ve resisted.

I was pretty sure from Her movements and breathing that She was awake, and after our conversation a day or two ago, when we agreed a quick fumble didn’t need to go any further, an unfinished hand job would have kept me happy. Even just a static hand wrapped around my erection, to show She knew and appreciated that I was making the effort She had suggested. Hell, I would even have been perfectly happy with just a cuddle for 45min or so.

What I didn’t expect wasfor Her to remain utterly motionless.

Normally, when I reach over, even if She’s not in the mood, She will at lease rest a hand on mine, or push it away. Even if She is asleep, there is some movement.
But today?
It was almost as if She was holding Her breath.

Perhaps She was asleep.

And although I don’t want to, I feel myself retreating just a little.
It’s just once, and I shouldn’t be surprised if She doesn’t want sex nearly as often as I do. That’s only to be expected, and more importantly, that’s OK.
It’s only been a week, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But it’s been a week. And twice my advances have been unrequited.
It’s only been a week and already I’m doubting Her commitment to … to? … to us? … to sex?
And my balls hurt, I want sex … want Her … want sex with Her … so much …
I shouldn’t be surprised.
And nor should you, Dear Reader, that I took myself downstairs, made myself a cup of tea, and drained my anguish over porn.

23 Responses to “I shouldn’t be surprised”

  1. I wish there were an easy answer to your plight… 😦

  2. I feel for you. It’s hard to deal with for sure. Have you ever tried writing her – speaking is over rated sometimes but it depends on the person. I had no response and it felt like I swallowed a bowling ball but it’s worth a try. Sometimes seeing the words is better than hearing them. You probably have, xoxoxo

    • A good suggestion, but knowing Her i don’t think She’d like it. Without kniwing Her reaction to anything, I could eadily say too much to quickly. There’s a lot to say. πŸ˜‰

    • I understand – I too have many many words. Think of it as a haiku- Brief and to the point – no reasoning. Hey- an idea. How about a storybook – a sequence of pictures – no words. I’m being really stupid because at some point, all of the worrying and figuring “them” out crinkles and bunches up in my head. If she only knew the pain of trying to figure her out was causing you. Really understood it I mean. Therapy- someone else can tell her for you. xo, J

  3. I don’t want to like this because it makes me sad for you. Sigh*

  4. hmmmm, would it be so bad to just ask her what’s up? Let her know this is twice now that your advances have not been received and the feeling of being turned away isn’t doing you any favors in the “I thought we were going to try” department.

    Be blunt, be honest, let her know how you feel! No one should have to keep this shit bottled up like this.

    If nothing else, how about a hug? yes, okay!? Here you go. Hugs!


  5. Maybe you can just hold her, take her in your arms when she is like that? My heart breaks with you.

  6. MySideOfTheStreet Says:

    Hugs, love.

  7. Awww damn. I did like the written word idea though but as u said already that might just piss of her off so no good but honestly being on yr blog for quite a while I cant really tell u to be patient because that’s one thing that u definitely have been for a long time. Honestly I have no clue or idea for you.

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