Small steps

As fucks go, it wasn’t a bad fuck. It certainly wasn’t the worst fuck for years, and having brewed up nearly a week’s worth of jizz, after we’d given up on me cumming in Her, I was pleased to let Her take matters into Her own hands, just as any good wife would.

A couple of times, as She tugged on my member, I stopped Her to talk.

I told Her I wanted to cum in Her, much as She likes me to do, and that whilst getting a hand job is very enjoyable, I had mixed feeling about it right then. If I am to unload my balls when we fuck, and if we are to be relying on condoms, then I need to not wank for a while, to build up a need to cum, if there is to be a realistic chance of me filling a condom whilst filling Her.

She moved to sit next to me, wrapped the duvet around Her, and started stroking again. I swung a leg round so She was kneeling between my legs – one of my favorite positions to get wanked. She ministered to my member.

I stopped Her, and pulled Her into a cuddle. I told Her about my need for other stimuli if She’s going to masturbate me. (It’s not remotely a need as such but I can’t think of a better word right now.) If She’s playing with my cock, I want to be involved too. I know She doesn’t like me to finger Her pussy (She interjected that sometime it works for Her, sometimes it doesn’t) but that it adds to my arousal, as does playing with Her tits. I said I like to see Her cunt, and Her tits, and Her smile. (As anyone who’s been on either side of a good hand job or blow job knows, knowing that the performer is enjoying what themself is a very big bonus.) She asked if I wanted the lights on. I said maybe. I told Her that watching Her was good in the absence of being permitted to touch Her, and that’s where things like wearing sexy underwear can play apart. She didn’t pick up on the lingerie reference but said that me groping Her (a word I found disappointing in the circumstance) was distracting when She was trying to focus on me. I said that I didn’t think it needed to be just about me, and that we could both enjoy it. I laughed as said Sit on my face. Thankfully She laughed too. I asked if She likes wanking me. She said it wasn’t something She actively liked. (Wrong answer!!! But we were dealing with honesty, so that’s kind of ok.) She likes what it does for me. It wasn’t quite the question, or the answer I had in mind so I asked if She enjoyed the feeling of my cock in Her hands. The answer was a little better, caveated with the information that the degree of concentration She has to muster to toss me off precludes Her own enjoyment and that She’s still not entirely confident She’s got the hang of it yet. I assured Her She was doing fine and I asked Her to make me cum.

She sat back up and took my dick in Her hands once more. I turned the bedside light on and pulled the duvey slightly to the side to watch Her manipulating my tool, and She smiled a somewhat unconvincing smile. I asked Her to suck me. I rarely ask for this, and wasn’t confident I’d get it. But I did. Without a word Her head dipped down and Her mouth enveloped my helmet. Just my helmet, mind. As She bobbed up and down, Her lips never passed the rim of my knob, despite the silent encouragement of my hips. Eventually She withdrew me, and pistoned Her fist around my cock. I told Her not to stop. She asked me to tell Her when She should. I heard a volley of cum landed on the pillow, just above my head, then another. She kept stroking. I’d like to think Her smile was more genuine as another 2 or 3 gobbets landed high on my chest and my stomach, but at some point I’d closed my eyes tightly. She kept massaging my organ. I ejaculated another couple of times and asked Her to stop. I opened my eyes as She reached for the box of tissues, and I don’t think I have ever seen so much jizz covering Her hand, and I was grateful that I had spent so many days not tending to my own needs.

The clean up was a little hurried for my liking. I have no objection to being covered in lust’s juices, whether mine or my partners. [One of the most intimate sensations I’ve ever enjoyed was when Fiona asked me to cum on Her tits, so I pulled out of her quim, knelt over her, finished myself off manually, anointed her with my spunk, and then wrapped myself around her, feeling an immense closeness as my cum lubricated our skins.] Truth be told, if She’s offered me Her hand, I would have happily licked it clean. I didn’t really have a chance to enjoy my post orgasmic come down as my Wife mopped up the still warm evidence of my satisfaction, but once the moment was sanitised, we cuddled up before our progeny came into our bedroom and dragged we hurriedly adjusted the duvet to keep the wet patch to ourselves.

Never mind. It felt good to have talked, to get to know a little about each other sexually, after so many years.

And having abandoned the idea of giving Her the expired vouchers yet again, maybe I should do a more serious risk analysis of buying Her sexy panties. Again.

15 Responses to “Small steps”

  1. I’m not crazy about that word ‘groping’ , either.

  2. Not perfect, but baby steps 🙂
    Talking about it is good 🙂

  3. This makes me smile. Talking is good. Happy New Year AM. xp, J

  4. This is great progress! The fact that she’ll give you a hand job at all shows a tremendous amount of effort. Can you imagine having nearly no desire to have sex and having to do it anyway and manually and be sent the message that you’d better smile about it too?! Men have no idea how much that takes out of us. I hope I don’t sound bitter, I am just trying to emphasize how important it is that she is willing to do this for you. I also wanted to note that my husband did buy me surprise lingerie and I thought it was the sweetest thing. I loved it, but I will admit that he still hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing me in it and i received it over 6 months ago (that’s not to say we haven’t had sex in that long, just that i never put the damn things on). So, while I’m not the best person to give advice, I do empathize with the situation.

    • The fact that She’ll give me a hand job is nothing new: just no more regular than a shag. And it’s in no way unappreciated. She has never shown objections to doing it, and I have only ever asked when She has already offered.
      I didn’t ask Her to smile – I merely said I like to see Her smile. As in “I like to see your smile” NOT “I like to see you smile.” It may bea subtle difference, but to me at least it is profound.
      If men have no idea how much effort it takes for women to give them a wank, that says very little about the relationshio from both sides. If one doesn’t want to fulfil the other’s desires (male or female, sexual or otherwise), or fails to perceive reluctance, are they in the right relationship?

    • So you see my dilemma and maybe use it to gain perspective. In other words, it could be worse!

    • I’m not sure I do see your dilema but seeing how others may see the situation is always useful.

  5. It looks like a bit of progress. Hopefully the word “groping” and the clear discomfort will abate over time.

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