One size fits all

Having put my least expansive smalls on this morning, I sat on the edge of the bed to put my socks on, bent forward and was surprised to notice a little slack in the cloth below my balls. A ruffling suggesting that, as small as they are, their capacity was not tested by their contents. A fragile ego might have found this disheartening, and I confess it was one of those moments when I thought I’m glad I just found out my dick is bigger than average. (I’m sorry if I seem to be obsessing aboubt this of late, Tolerant Reader, gloating even, but it’s not every day a man in his mid 40s gets an ego boost, let alone a sexual one.)


My second thought was about climatic influences. (I said climatic, not climactic! Jeez, do you think of nothing but sex, Dear Pervert?) I’ve been lead to believe that body conscious women often like cold, wintry weather as the astringent effect of low temperatures makes tits and arses look pert. A bonus for lascivious men too, especially those with a penchant for nipples you could hang coats on. However, body conscious men may not be so keen, as it also makes flaccid cocks even more diminutive. For those of us classifiable as growers, not show-ers, the effect can sometimes be almost disturbingly profound.

This morning the house was cold – I could tell this by looking at my crotch in the mirror before I got dressed. Even after a hot shower. (I’m assuming the gentleman pictured above was photographed in mid summer, having just towelled down after a session in the sauna, or his boyfriend has just slathered half a pint of lube over his sphincter.)

When I’d recovered from my visual disappointment, my thoughts became more practical.

I’ve discussed the pros and cons of exaggerating underwear before, and my Joe Snyder Bulge Full Bikini Briefs are definitely cut to make the most of your manhood. (They also make me giggle, and a sense of humour is sexy! Right?) One of the down sides I’ve found with genital aesthetic enhancing pantsuk is that, if Kinsey is correct, and my dick is average when limp, the pouches are generally engineered for more well endowed gentlemen, or at the very least those who show not grow.

Why not cater for average sized members?
Every conceivable size of tit is catered for in the world of bras. From 30AA to 50N.


Meanwhile, men are limited to S/M/L/XL/XXL. And the options are ostensibly linked to how fat your gut is. When women have the choice of over 250 different sizes of bra, why do underwear manufacturers not address variation in size of penis? If condom manufacturers such as
My Size and
can accommodate members both large and small, surely it’s time briefs went the same way.

Admittedly, there would be just a hint of irony if, having discovered my need for XL jonnies, I needed to resort to S smalls.

7 Responses to “One size fits all”

  1. I suppose one of the reason is that women don’t look at your crotch to size you up. At least most women don’t. They’ll look at your butt, at your stomach, but not necessarily at your crotch. And there may be less need for support in the every day life, so if you have a large gut but a smaller dick, it doesn’t make much difference. However, if you’re wearing underwear to impress someone, then yes, it would be interesting I suppose. So I guess what I’m saying is that specialised underwear would have sizes according to penis size…
    Ah, but then there is the problem for showers that, if they get an erection while wearing a size S, they will be either very uncomfortable, or rip through their underwear πŸ˜‰
    As you can tell, I have no clue πŸ™‚

    • I’m not sure whether women’s choice of viaual stimuli is a big consideration. My current favorite underwear is from Ergowear, and is designed to give support whilst letting your dick hang down naturally. This is more comfortable than traditional briefs which just squash your cock up or over to the side. It’s like the difference between wearing a sports bra all the time or a bra with cups that match your tits. Why shouldn’t briefs have pouches that match their intended contents.
      The paradox of having a large size of briefs to accomodate a fat gut is that extra body fat has the effect of shortening a penis.
      The Ergowear shorts are also pretty stretchy and do nothing at all to hide it constrict my erection. I don’t think a smaller pouch would be detrimental on that front either.

    • I agree with you, underwear should be comfortable. We come back to my suggestion that you should become an underwear designer for men πŸ˜‰
      I think the extra body fat doesn’t actually shorten a penis, it just makes it look smaller…

    • That’s true, a fat man doesn’t strictly have a smaller penis, but his penis stays the same length while the outer layer of his body expands. Since the penis is anchored behind the layer of subcutaneous fat, as the fat layer thickens, more of the penis is within his body, shortening what is available outside his body.
      Aditionally, fat men are likely to have a weaker cardio vascular system, and since an erection is dependent on blood flow, especially when it comes to inflated girth, a fat man can reasonably expect to have thinner erection.
      To my mind, less available length and reduced girth are equitable with smaller. QED.
      I do have ideas for men’s underwear designs, though to date I have envisaged them as being made of rubber … ooooh … now there’s an idea! Men’s underwear made in combinations of fabrics: cotton and rubber, conventional briefs with satin or lace pouches, see through mesh boxers with latex wasteband and trim … you’ve got me thinking now!

    • Ok, Ok, you win πŸ˜‰
      And I’m happy that you have ideas… I’m looking forward to you modelling them πŸ˜‰

    • An interesting thought. πŸ˜‰

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