Guest Blog – Always read the small print

For some unknown reason, I’ve contemplating inviting a guest to write something for my blog. And then out of the escapistgirl telling me how … oh, why don’t I let her tell you.


Your iced-cocktails post was a light bulb idea. [AM: Dear Reader, if you haven’t read the post to which escapistgirl is referring, now would be a good moment to do so, else what follows may make little sense.]

I am probably the only person crazy enough to actually try it. I feel ridiculous and giddy at the same time. I decided to try it because I don’t have any toys and the only thing I’ve ever had up my pussy is the husband (unavailable of late) and my fingers (boring).

First, I made the mistake of using a 500 ml bottle instead of your 300ml recommended one. So this was kinda big.. about 7.5 inches in circumference. [AM: I winced at the sight of this, Dear Reader. Even in my capacity as a newly endowed man, the size looks terrifying. AND I had a good idea of the sensations about to be described, irrespective of the girth!]


Second – I ignored your warning. Geez! I shouldn’t have. Can you imagine the shock??? I’m pretty sure, for a few moments in time – you bit your tongue or tripped or some shit because all I could think of was “Fuck you AM, I will hunt you down!!” – (Not to worry, I doubt I ever could, even with my best detective hat on, and even if I could, I wouldn’t.)

My vagina was numb as soon as the ice hit it. I thought I lost it. No, really. I couldn’t feel anything. My pussy was gone! I thought it was the size at first, thinking it was ambitious not to melt it down some more. But it was so cold it felt numb and burning at the same time.

I let some hot water run over me and then tried it again thinking “I must be crazy!” I didn’t want it said that I gave up too soon. But no, I dropped the ice within seconds. It took a while of running hot water and cupping my hand over myself to warm it. As for recovery time – it wasn’t really long with the warm water running over me (I did this in the tub). Maybe just about 5 minutes? Although it felt like an eternity 😉

Needles to say after all the blood came back down there, I got horny all over again and just finished it off. No ice involved 🙂

The thing is, now I can’t help smiling when I think about it, regardless of the failure . I feel like I have this little secret and I am tickled at the thought. I still want something different, an alternative to my own fingers, but I don’t think the DIY ice bottle is for me. I will have to find a different toy. Its not as easy since I am afraid of sticking vegetables, handles, brushes and what not up there. It just doesn’t seem right… Maybe now, I will be braver in exploring the toys concept. A cheap rampant rabbit? Will have to do research.

Thanks AM (Yes, I am thanking you, now that I am over the frozen popsicle moment). It was an interesting and fun activity. Wouldn’t do it again, but am glad I tried it.



Well there you go, Not So Adventurous Readers.
And just in cas you didn’t bother to read the post that spawned this one, here’s the warning mentioned above.

But be warned: if you’ve not been fucked with ice before, it’s a very very different sensation to flesh or silicone, and you may want to get an accomplice to tie you down and gag you first.

Now off you go and get yourself a bottle of water, some bondage rope, a gag, and an accomplice. [Giggle]

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