Hopes dashed

For reasons I won’t go into just now (though be assured they’re much as you’d imagine they should be from me) I found myself looking at the online clearance sale for Simply Pleasure this morning. And what should I spy, but this …


A toy I’ve not seen from Lelo before. The Ora Oral Sex Simulator. And it’s got a hole in it. Even if the hole looks a little metalic, I wonder if it’s designed so that I could get off if I stick my knob in it? You gals have been singing the waxing lyrical about the joys of having a Lelo robo-phalus slipping in and out of your cunts for ages, and it seems about time Lelo did something decent for the boys too.

I clicked on the link and delightedly start to read the description.

If the thought of fantastic fellatio gets you all hot and bothered, the Lelo Ora will send you into an orgasmic oral orbit. Boasting the title of The World’s Most Sophisticated Oral Sex Simulator this gorgeous gadget is perfect for a steamy solo sesh or couples encounter.

The Lelo Ora is a cool combination of sensual massage and oral ecstasy. It promises sultry swirls and pulsations that target the clitoris for an intense climax.

Hang on! If the thought of fantastic fellatio gets you all hot and bothered … Yep, got that bit, and I could definitely do with some of that.
Then … sultry swirls and pulsations that target the clitoris … But I haven’t got fucking a clitoris!!!

Oh you bunch of marketing muppets at Simply Pleasure! How could you do that to me? Your business is selling sex toys, so I’m pretty sure you ought to know the difference between fellatio and cunnilingus. Just in case …

fellatio (n) /fɛˈlɑːtɪəʊ/ : Oral stimulation of a man’s penis.
Origin: Late 19th century: modern Latin, from Latin fellare ‘to suck’.

cunnilingus (n)/ˌkʌnɪˈlɪŋɡəs/ : Stimulation of the female genitals using the tongue or lips.
Origin: Late 19th century: from Latin, from cunnus ‘vulva’ + lingere ‘to lick’.

Suck / man / penis.
Lick / female / vulva.
There’s a distinct difference there. Right, Dear Reader?

Well that’s raised and dashed my hopes in just a few seconds. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

11 Responses to “Hopes dashed”

  1. Agh! I had the same reaction as you, in about the same time frame 🙂
    I was happily reading along, thinking of fellatio, wondering why, if my mouth is available, I should want to use this on my partner (couples encounter)… then read clitoris and wondered WTF?

    Sorry AM, for your dasehd hopes :-/

  2. Dude! My mind went to the clitoris affect being there if there’s a woman with you and your wearing it while you fuck …maybe…??? Maybe it’s a hermaphrodite toy ?

  3. revealedwoman Says:

    Look at the Lelo TOR 2 ‘worn by men’

    • Surely that’s just a really expensive vibrating cock ring. And having worn one a few times (albeit when the technology wasn’t nearly as refined) I have to sayI regard those a little more than erection maintainers and clit stims. A couples’ toy, but not really a men’s toy.

  4. Sorry for your disappointment. BTW I want this toy.

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