Mixed messages

Amidst my current peak in sexual frustration I’ve been doing some half hearted research on how to rein in my sex drive. Shooting my load in an obliging pussy would be one perfunctory treatment, but what about dealing with the cause? The obvious way to lower male libido is to lower testosterone. Right? Well …

I’ve now read repeatedly that poor testosterone levels do indeed reduce libido, and also make it harder to sleep. I’ve not had a proper nights sleep for about a month, so could it be that my testosterone levels are already low? When I wake up early I always feel horny. Hmmm. Something doesn’t add up there.

Eating less protein and animal fat, whilst increasing soy intake seems a popular suggestion when it comes to over-sexed men like myself. As my Wife is vegetarian I don’t eat much meat. I don’t cook a lot of tofu, (because it’s tasteless and boring!) but I eat more than most red blooded men. I’m still horny.

Quinine reduces testosterone. Great. I can buy into that. I like GnT, and between the alcohol and the Tonic Water I should barely be able to get it up … except that I drink more GnT than any other alcoholic beverage, possibly too much, and I’m still horny.

Everyone knows lots of processed carbohydrates make you fat. Being fat impacts negatively on self esteem, lowers blood flow to the genitals and is generally bad for sex. Great I can eat loads of crap food to kill my libido, but … Getting lots of exercise can reduce testosterone levels. Apparently this is typified in marathon runners. I thought I was supposed to eat junk food and get fat: now I’ve got to get exercise?

Cold and flu remedies such as pseudoephedrine are known to suppress sec drive. Unfortunately I’ve had a stinking cold for the last fortnight so have been taking pseudoephedrine and in that time I’ve been as horny as hell.

Apparently coriander (or cilantro) is believed by Asian monks to be a sex inhibitor. I use it more than any other spice/herb. Which might add credence to the claim that it was used in the Middle Ages in love potions.

You know what, Dear Reader, it’s quite confusing when you start looking into pseudo-sexual-science. So sod it!
Next remedy?
I might need to find that obliging pussy after all.