What’s all this about?

I was drunk again. Happy drunk again. It had got me through an intense afternoon of school-holiday-child-care.  [Ed: Don’t worry, Concerned Reader. No children were at risk during the production of this blog post.] 

My Wife got home, I cooked supper and we sat down as a family to eat. Everyone was friends and all was going well, but at some point She decided to start waxing on about the down sides of alcohol and how it impairs judgement and lubricated tongues and how this is all undesirable. This was all pitched for the junior audience, but it was hard not to regard it to be at least referencing my state of jovial inebriation. Being apparently also hair-trigger drunk again, I withdrew from conversation, cleared my plate and walked out if the kitchen in silence.

I turned the TV on and went in search of our second ever episode of GoT.

Having dealt with our offspring and bed time, She joined me on the sofa.
Her: Sorry if I said. The wrong thing about alcohol?
Me: Did you?
Her: You went quiet and walked out.
I shrugged. Obviously She’d hit the nail on the head, and She knew it, but I was in no mood to discuss it so denial was the easier option.

We watched GoT. There was more sex. More sex of the kind She doubtless finds the depiction of which to be distasteful.

A handmade attempted to instruct Daenerys how to fuck Khal Drogo – to take control of the situation and to fuck him as much with her eyes as her body. (The latter being a tip my Wife could well take heed of. )

Despite the gratuitously ratings grabbing lesbian overtones, we made it through that scene.
Later, Khal Drogo walks into the tent, strips for the camera …

… and Daenerys tries to put her tuition into practice.

But being a thug, he’s having none of this, flips her over and fucks her from behind. The look in Her eyes is one of distress.

Inevitably, the data stream to our TV had been faltering throughout the show, and at this point it ground to a halt. Whereas I’d dealt with earlier buffering issues by rewinding and pausing, still actively wanting not to watch sex with my Wife, I FFWD’d through the scene and the stream kicked in again.

Ultimately, as with the Grimm striptease evening two days last, I bruskly took myself to bed alone.

Next morning I woke commonly early and went downstairs.
2 or 3 hours later She came down too.
Her: Morning.
Me: Morning.
10min passed with not a word between us as She made and ate Her breakfast.
Her: What’s this all about?
Me: What’s what all about?
Obviously This was THIS , but the question was so imprecise I didn’t know how to answer without clarification.
Her: The reason no one talking to each other? Well, I know what mine’s about. What’s yours about?
It took me a couple of minutes to distill an answer.
Me: I don’t know. I just wish this family wasn’t such a mess. What’s yours?
Her: The same sort of things I guess. Though I see it differently.
There was something in the way She said it that felt like superiority. Like saying I was being destructively negative about This. That She was looking at as being fixable. That Her perception was right and mine was wrong.
Me: That feels like finger wagging.
Her: It’s not meant to be. We just all create conflict and we don’t deal with it well when we do. How do we stop creating conflict?
Silence.
But at least She was using the plural pronoun. At least that might mean She acknowledged She might play a part in This.
Her: Well I’m going to the gym.
I knew She was going to. She’d expressed the intent the previous day and was dressed for it. She did with nothing else said.

By the time She returned some low level shit had hit the metaphorical fan and civil conversation was necessary. But for the rest of the day we were either separate or laconic.

3 Responses to “What’s all this about?”

  1. Alcohol will NEVER be enough to numb all the pain, so please don’t turn to it. I know how easy it is, but in the long run, it only makes things worse. No other advice about how to deal with your wife. Sorry. 😦

    • Yeah, I know. I don’t tend to lean on booze because of our marriage – sometimes I just softens the rest of the world. (Which I have to admit, relatively speaking, really isn’t that hard!) And I know I drink too much (not that that’s as much as some people) and I keep telling myself to think about the long term effects – I’m just not very good at stopping once I’ve started. And that goes for drinking, food, exercise, talking,writing, and … well … y’know … other things too 😉

      • I KNOW that kind of excess VERY WELL!! I have little will power when there is something I REALLY want. Life is sometimes short enough that we must indulge. Just make sure that it is a delicious indulgence and not a problem. xoxo

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