The other M-word

There are few words a red blooded male dreads to hear more. Especially a red blooded male in a marriage that is almost sexless … but not quite. At least, if there are many such words, I can’t imagine what they would be.

I was not in my happy place, and my disposition was clearly displayed on my sleeve.
She sat down next to me and

asked if there was anything She could do.
I said I couldn’t imagine so.
Out of the blue, She announced that She had made an appointment to see the doctor.
Not unprecedented, but in the circumstance I wasn’t remotely surprised. I’d had thought something was amiss.
To cut a long story short, it was just that She suspected the early stages of menopause.

Did She sense the hope escape from me?
Did She hear a silent scream?

She elaborated a little.
I asked if there was anything I could do. Obviously, there wasn’t. But If I didn’t at least ask, I’d be a lamentable husband.

Now I know, Dear Reader, that that’s not the end of the world, and at the very least, it is not unheard of for women’s libidos survive menopause, but let’s be honest, hands up if you think that’s likely to happen for a woman who’s never had much of a libido in the first place?

Nope? Didn’t think so.

And before anyone chirps up with the suggestion that the possible onset of my Wife’s menopause might explain why She hasn’t been up for sex very much recently, I would just like to put that speculation to bed: for this to be an explanation for Her general alibidinous state, would probably have required Her to be working Her way towards menopause for a decade, if not Her entire adult life.

Sure, it might go some way to explaining the last few months, but the long term past? No.
As for the long term future … or even the medium term future, let alone the next few months? Well, there’s the prospect of hot flushes, night sweats, sleep difficulties and tiredness, pain during intercourse, vaginal dryness, loss of libido, mood swings … if the list of likely symptoms is anything it is the antithesis of an aphrodisiac.

Of course, this isn’t about me, and it must be considered what the prospect of menopause might do to a red blooded woman? With symptoms lasting from 4-12 years, what red blooded woman would not shed a tear at natures way of telling a her she is sexually redundant?

Of course, my Wife isn’t a red blooded woman, nor has She ever been. And what woman with a history of sexual indifference, aware (at least to some degree) of the effect that has on her over-sexed husband, when faced with menopause, would not be concerned not only for her own health, but also about the wider implications.

Time will tell. Though I dread what story it may choose to recount.
Please don’t think I bear my Wife grudges for this announcement. Far from it, but fate can be a real bastard sometimes.

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