Big and ugly

[Excuse me if this post isn’t that polished …]

There’s big stuff to be dealt with (outside my marriage). Big ugly stuff. Albeit just the big ugly stuff that could have to be dealt with by any grown-up, but that doesn’t make it any less big and ugly.

Amidst the tempest that is resulting from the big ugly stuff, my Wife and I ended up

on the same side. We ended up sat in a pub having a drink, talking about big ugly stuff, and agreeing, not arguing.

We had probably got onto talking about the fact that We were talking about big ugly stuff without arguing and out of the blue She dropped the bombshell and brought up SEX .

Now?
Really?
Fuck off!!
Seriously. Fuck right off!!!!
Why, when there is this big ugly stuff to deal with would She bring up SEX ?
How the hell is that a good time?

Through my incredulity, I challenged Her on why .
Apparently She felt safe. Because We were talking about big ugly stuff without arguing, She felt safe enough to talk about SEX

No.
I’m not having that.
That’s not fair.
She can put that back in the things we don’t talk about it box.
I’m not prepared to talk about SEX now.
Actually, yes. We are you t to talk about it now.
Well, no, not exactly talk about SEX , but We are going to talk about this word safe. That word goes hand in hand with trust. When We were dealing badly with other big ugly stuff a month or two back, She used the word trust. I reminded Her of that the other night when we were dealing badly with big ugly us stuff: how there isn’t much trust in our relationship. She had no recollection of using the word and didn’t recognise it as something lacking between us.

Yet if She trusts me, how could it be that now felt She feels safe to talk about SEX?

I was angry about the big ugly stuff. (And rightly so. I would challenge anyone to dispute the righteousness of my anger. Even the one at whom it was primarily aimed. Even they understood why I was angry.) I was now more than a bottle of wine down, so not at my most moderated. I vented my anger at my Wife. Not physically, and not even viciously, but that She now saw fit to bring up SEX … that She couldn’t acknowledge how inexorably entwined trust and safe are … that made me even more angry.

One Response to “Big and ugly”

  1. […] innuendo, She doesn’t these days. So what’s going on? The day before, out of the blue She wants to talk about SEX, and now She’s dropping double entendres more often than a hooker drops her knickers […]

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