The casualties of war 

The night of our initial big fight we had been out for supper with an old friend. Amongst other topics of conversation were gender rolls and feminism. We were all singing off the same page, and agreed that whilst women have enjoyed the benefits of the sexual revolution

, men have not been afforded the same considerations. It is men who now need to be liberated. Men are still obliged to be tough and masculine, are expected to bring home the bacon, are not allowed to talk about their emotions and are regarded with mistrust at the school gate. (No, Incandescent Reader, these are not universal truths, but truths they remain.) Again my actively feminist Wife labeled me a feminist, and again I vehemently rejected the allegation.

Weeks past and a few days ago, in response to a new reader’s comments, I found myself musing that the way we regard low sex drive is profoundly different when it comes to the different sexes.

This in itself came, by coincidence, only a few days after my musings on western societies attitudes towards beachwear.

It all got me thinking:
In the battle of the sexes, equality has been a significant casualty, and profoundly so in terms of attitudes towards sex.

A woman with a high libido is a nymphomaniac.
A man with a high libido is over sexed and a potential sex-pest.

A woman who looks at porn is exploring her fantasies.
A man who looks at porn is objectifying women.

A woman who masturbates is acknowledging her sexuality and empowering herself through self exploration.
A man who masturbates can’t leave it alone for 5 minutes.

A woman who doesn’t want sex is rejecting out-dated marital concepts of ownership in a patriarchal society.
A man who isn’t interested in sex is dysfunctional.

An older woman dating a younger man is a cougar.
An older man dating a younger woman is vilified as a cradle snatcher (or a sugar daddy if he’s lucky enough to have cash to splash).

A woman uses escorts.
Escorts are used by men.

A good friend of mine, who somehow manages to successfully be a liberal-militant feminist, recently boarded her soapbox to proclaim that “Guys” is not a gender neutral term. You wouldn’t ask a man if he fuck’s guys. She may have a point, and I do not pretend that sexual politics is any simpler than unravelling string theory, but if the battle of the sexes is ever to stop taking casualites, both sides need to be objective, throw away our historical prejudices and stop using language as a double edged weapon.

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