Talk about talk

Several days on, having not Talked, She brough up the subject of Talking. Whether we need to talk about anything? To try self help before we signed up to see a sex therapist. (From the way She phrased it, it seemed apparent She was viewing it as relationship counselling, rather than specifically sex therapy. Which is OK, as long as We don’t lose sight of the elephant in the room.) Talking, at the least, as a way of figuring out our starting point. So we knew what we wanted to talk about. She didn’t want this to drag on in a way that meant we didn’t talk.

She mentioned the blog articles and links on the website of the sex therapy clinic She had suggested. We’d both read them all, or at least those that had pertinent titles. She had found things She thought were relevant, even if some (like making time for each other) seemed blatantly obvious. I’d read the same, though I hadn’t found much of help. I said I’d read them again.

She was conscious of the fact that I’m still sleeping in the spare bedroom and didn’t want me to feel I had to … if I didn’t want to. I said it’s not what I want, but I’m doing it for me.

The conversation was brief.

2 Responses to “Talk about talk”

  1. When a relationship is good, sex is only 10% of the issues. When the relationship is broken, sex becomes 90% of the issues. Try and keep that in mind as you work on fixing things. It’s not just your sex life that’s broken. The fact that she is even broaching the subject means she is ready for change too. Take advantage of that and work together to make things better for you both.

    • Ha ha! Yeah. An uncomfortable statistic.
      I know sex isn’t the only problem by a long way. In my unqualified opinion it is underpinned by trust issues and a constant non-verbalised hyerachical struggle within the relationship, which In itself may be influenced by conflicting approaches to a mutual desire to address out-dated social paradigms … but what the fuck do I know. 😉

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