Sleeping arangements and other things

There was discussion about the logistics of Xmas. Transportation of elderly relatives. Menu choices. Shopping for food. Sleeping arrangements.  In their own way any if these are equally tortuous matters. Sleeping arrangements (we have been sleeping in separate rooms for over a month now) were probably mentioned early on. The discussion was postponed until the younger proportion of the family was tucked up in bed.

I had a moment alone in the kitchen. I reflected on sleeping arrangements. My thoughts were not of sex, just of being in bed with my Wife. I really wasn’t thinking about sex. Really. Just sharing the same 5ft by 6ft space. But some subconscious sprite awakened in my loins and I got a semi. That was intensely irritating.

She came back into the kitchen and discussion of menus followed. And for no good reason, She snapped at me. I had asked a question about something I needed to know that was dependant on a decision She had unilaterally made and of which I had no way of knowing. My question irritate Her. She snapped at me.

I bit my tongue. But I had to bite down hard.

Somehow, bearing in mind for reasons of dietary preference I was simultaneously cooking three different meals for the family, I managed to knock one of them onto the floor.
There was a clatter as the frying pan hit the floor.
In my fatigued state, a loud FUCK!!! echoed through the house.
She came into the kitchen.
Her: Are you ok?
Me: Fucking perfect!!!!
Thankfully She took the hint and left the room.

I served everyone else’s meal, cleaned up the mess I had made, reheated my own supper in the microwave, and finally sat at the table to eat. She alone had remained seated. She apologised for snapping. I apologised for my own personal crap in the previous 15min. And I was going to postpone discussion yet again but … prefixing my soliloquy as a brain dump, I explained my frustration: significant physical fatigue, sleeping arrangements, my subconscious driven erection, Her entirely unjustified snipe, my culinary fuck-up. FUCK!!!

She apologised for snapping at me again. She didn’t know why She did it.

I finished supper, cleared up and sat alone. She returned to the kitchen and queried my self-imposed solitude. It was a fair point.
With no haste or discussion I followed Her to the living room.
She emphasised that I hadn’t needed to.

Again we discussed sleeping arrangements.
Over Xmas, some degree of pretence is necessary. Visitors do not need to know about our domestic turmoil.
I thought I should be the one to sleep on the sofa.
She thought She should be the one to sleep on the sofa.
It was plain that neither of us really thought sleeping in the same room, let alone the same bed, was likely to be easy.

It is me who will be sleeping on the sofa for a week.

When the dust had settled, I went to the toilet. When I returned to the living room, She was buried in Her tablet. Over Her shoulder I noticed She was looking at a 5 Languages of Love webpage. Our homework from our first therapy session. I think it was the same web-quiz I had done the night before. (More of that to follow.)


4 Responses to “Sleeping arangements and other things”

  1. Well, it looks like I’m going to spend Xmas by myself. At least I don’t have to worry about sleeping arrangements and not being able to rest as I wish and keeping up pretenses.

    Good luck!

  2. Hang in there. Things seem to be changing. It could get even rougher for a while, but change is good. ❤️

    • Get even rougher? I’d better set up an account with the Ikea crockery dept. 😉
      Seeing as Our next session with the therapist isn’t for nearly 2wks, it’s probably good we’ve got people staying with us for most of that time – more work to do, so more tiring and more potential for patience to wear thin, but less opportunity to fight. ‘Tis an I’ll wind.

    • You are both willing to try, and that’s the best start! 😊

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