Or is it?


In the early hours of this morning, police raided Gruntfuttock Tower, the exclusive, monolithic, London offices, and occasional residence of Sir Wilberforce Gruntfuttock III, renowned golfing mogul, philanthropist, and former lead singer of the 70s prog rock band Witch’s Muff. He was arrested and charged under obscenity laws. Sir Gruntfuttock, also known as

The High Priest Of Ejaculatium throughout his music career, The Mighty O during his brief years with male burlesque troop MFI, and simply as Alan when he goes round to his mum’s for tea and biscuits, had taken his faulty computer to electronics retailer Geek Warehouse, where a 22yr old technician (who claimed he has never even kissed a girl) was shocked and traumatised after stumbling upon 30,000 pornographic images of vintage tractors. In a statement read by his lawyer, Sir Gruntfuttock said he’d been researching abuse and trafficking of retired farm machinery for a book he planned to write one day, that recent claims of his links to an international Satanic ring of tractophiles were completely unfounded, and he was just looking after the computer for a stranger he met in a public toilet last Tuesday evening. Sir Gruntfuttock will appear before a judge next week when bail is expected to be refused.

We’ve all heard the stories. And one of the standout features of such news articles is often the tens of thousands of pornographic images uncovered. You can’t help thinking that’s a lot of porn.

Or is it?

Having had my Tumblr account for about 18 months, I have populated it almost exclusively with colourful latex fetish images and a scattering of hard-core porn. All of this has merely been reblogs of what other people have posted on Tumblr. I’d found myself thinking it would be a shame if, in a fit of puritanism, The Man decided to wipe all those wonderfully wank-worthy pictures. Was there a way to download them all?

It turns out, with the help of WordPress, there is. I merely neeefd to create a new WP blog, and import my Tumblr blog. WP would then copy all the necessary image files, and from there I could export them to my own laptop. (Much, I suspect, as Sir Gruntfuttock did.)
Or rather, I could download about 60% of them.
Because whilst my Tumblr account has accumulated nearly 13,500 fetishistic images, WP will only host 3Gb of files for free, which amounts to a mere 8500 rubbery orgasm inspirations.

Slightly disappointing, but what I think this does show is that, whilst I am a mere amateur rubberista, if you are a dedicated, tractor loving pervert, swapping images with an international cabal of like minded Satanists, it surely isn’t that hard to amas tens of thousands of illicit images.

One Response to “Or is it?”

  1. Clever and interesting, thanks.

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