… said the pot to the kettle

It started with what I thought was an innocuous suggestion that I would continue the search for a particular Xmas present my Wife had been looking for, while She did the parenting shift. It seemed a logical distribution if labour to me.
Apparently I was trying to snatch the task away from Her. Her tone of voice was abrasive and irritable.

It descended into a fight.
And I descended into a bottle of whisky.

This is not a productive way to deal with situations, arguments, because my judgement and particularly memory fail as much as my voice is liberated.

I threw some more home truths at Her (or at least what I see as home truths) including that I thought She should

see a therapist. I could write a list, I told Her, of things I think She needs to deal with, but that it is not my place to diagnose Her issues. I offered that I would be perfectly happy for Us both to write lists of what We respectively thought the Other needed to deal with, and have those lists delivered in confidence to Our respective therapists. She didn’t think that was a good idea.

She applauded me for seeing a therapist to work out My shit, but there was absolutely no recognition that I might not be the only one who might benefit from a third party’s objectivity.

But eventually, after Her dismissing the suggestion, and probably excessive pursuit of the subject, She did finally ask if I really thought She should see a therapist.
I do.
And She conceded She’d think about it.

I should add that I was far from faultless in the conversation, though the whisky has impaired my memory. I wish it hadn’t, so I could at least reflect on Her point of view. But even if She does consider it, there is a chance that we can move forward on equal terms.

In case you were wondering what the list would be, Dear Reader, it would include control, trust, intimacy, HSDD, identity, possibly menopause and mood swings, defensiveness and blame.

2 Responses to “… said the pot to the kettle”

  1. I hope that by this time next year things are very different for you all

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