Sinful Sunday 451 – Sucks like a …?
Admit it, Dear Female Reader, you’ve sat on the washing machine, your pussy bearing down on the corner of the unit as it juddered through a 1400rpm spin cycle with a deliberately unbalanced load. And if you haven’t, you’ve almost certainly thought about it.
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And I’ll bet my left testicle that you, Dear Male Reader, have looked at the vacuum cleaner on more than one occasion and thought, I wish my partner sucked like a Hoover.
Maybe you’re underestimating your partner’s fellatio talents. Maybe they suck a whole lot better than a Hoover. If you’re lucky, they may even suck like a Dyson, with it’s brushless digital motors and Cyclone™ Technology. But how will you know, if you never get sucked by a Dyson?
[Ed: Obviously AM wasn’t intentionally fucking the Dyson. The weather has been particularly warm for the time of year, the housework had been neglected, and with the family all out amidst an unprecedented relaxation of lock-down, it just made sense for AM to do some chores stark bollock naked. That He didn’t think to turn the vacuum cleaner off as He searched for His contact lens on the floor and the nozzle of the hose just happened to fall off as his bell-end swung towards the sucking orifice were mere coincidences. And He has no explanation at all for why the on/off switch kept cycling as he valiantly tried to turn the damned thing off … no matter how many times he tried.]
WARNING:
No cocks were harmed in the making of this porno-selfie. However, not all vacuum cleaners are designed the same way and sicking your dick in one could result in serious injury. So if you’re considering sexual acts with domestic appliances,, don’t be fucking stupid: and remember you do so at your own risk!
May 30, 2020 at 10:45 pm
I have to admit I have never done the washing machine thing nor has it really ever crossed my mind. Also NEVER do this with a Miele cleaner unless you want to risk having your dick sucked right off!
Molly
May 31, 2020 at 4:46 am
The (apocryphal?) A&E stories don’t tend to be brand specific. Perhaps they should be.
May 31, 2020 at 3:56 am
Never done the washer thing, but wondering how the suction would feel on my button too? 😈
May 31, 2020 at 4:47 am
Only one way to find out. 😈
May 31, 2020 at 5:10 am
Might have to try and let you know.
May 31, 2020 at 12:36 pm
Photos … or it never happened. 😉
May 31, 2020 at 2:35 pm
😁😁😁
May 31, 2020 at 11:13 pm
Haha, how did you think of this? This is great!
May 31, 2020 at 11:23 pm
How? What would any muddle aged man with fuck all to show from a non-consensual celibate marriage except 2½yrs worth of empty tissue boxes do when left alone in the house with nothing but a tub of premium icecream and a high powered, hand-held vacuum cleaner? How? I’ll tell you exactly how: ice-cream can only satiate so many needs.
May 31, 2020 at 11:26 pm
LOL
You’re making my day
May 31, 2020 at 11:31 pm
Thank fuck for icecream! Can you imagine what a twisted, bitter, narcissistic pervert I’d sound if it weren’t for the transcendentally restorative powers of ice-cream. Praise be to the gods Hagg & Das.
May 31, 2020 at 11:32 pm
Thank god for icecream indeed 😂
June 1, 2020 at 9:41 am
Fun … and very clever images … love it !!!
Xxx – K
June 1, 2020 at 9:47 am
If you use the idea in your dungeon, I might have to demand 10%. 😈
June 1, 2020 at 12:43 pm
The joys of lockdown eh lol x
June 1, 2020 at 2:48 pm
TPresumably that’s the long awaited sequel to The Joy Of Sex?
June 1, 2020 at 5:41 pm
I had never considered the washing machine thing!
June 2, 2020 at 9:58 am
Ha, this is clever!
June 2, 2020 at 9:59 am
The nurses in A&E might not think so.🤣
June 5, 2020 at 9:57 pm
Never done the washing machine thing but this made me chuckle!
June 6, 2020 at 11:21 am
😁