Sinful Sunday 451 – Sucks like a …?

Admit it, Dear Female Reader, you’ve sat on the washing machine, your pussy bearing down on the corner of the unit as it juddered through a 1400rpm spin cycle with a deliberately unbalanced load. And if you haven’t, you’ve almost certainly thought about it.

And I’ll bet my left testicle that you, Dear Male Reader, have looked at the vacuum cleaner on more than one occasion and thought, I wish my partner sucked like a Hoover.

Maybe you’re underestimating your partner’s fellatio talents. Maybe they suck a whole lot better than a Hoover. If you’re lucky, they may even suck like a Dyson, with it’s brushless digital motors and Cyclone™ Technology. But how will you know, if you never get sucked by a Dyson?

[Ed: Obviously AM wasn’t intentionally fucking the Dyson. The weather has been particularly warm for the time of year, the housework had been neglected, and with the family all out amidst an unprecedented relaxation of lock-down, it just made sense for AM to do some chores stark bollock naked. That He didn’t think to turn the vacuum cleaner off as He searched for His contact lens on the floor and the nozzle of the hose just happened to fall off as his bell-end swung towards the sucking orifice were mere coincidences. And He has no explanation at all for why the on/off switch kept cycling as he valiantly tried to turn the damned thing off … no matter how many times he tried.]

WARNING:
No cocks were harmed in the making of this porno-selfie. However, not all vacuum cleaners are designed the same way and sicking your dick in one could result in serious injury. So if you’re considering sexual acts with domestic appliances,, don’t be fucking stupid: and remember you do so at your own risk!