Inconvenient

About 2 weeks ago I had an accident. Please don’t feel sorry for me, Dear Reader, it was my own fault, and despite a trip in an ambulance and subsequent surgery, in the grand scheme of things it was nothing too major, and there should be no long lasting effects. [Ed: Other than a need to be frisked every time AM goes through airport security … not that He’s likely to complain at that!] In the short term, however, I’m half-stoned on pain-killers [Ed: and not the good half], I’ve had my right arm in a sling ever since, and will continue to do so for anywhere between 1 and 5 weeks, which is not without significant inconvenience. Yes, there are ways around these things for the long term incapacitated, but when you entirely loose the use of your dominant arm for even a short time, you start to understand the challenges that presents.

Most immediately, there is surprisingly little of my normal life I can do. A inordinate amount of my daily activity is enabled by the use of two hands. I can’t drive, carry anything of any weight, do any housework or cooking. It’s difficult getting dressed – socks take far too much effort and underwear is more hassle than it’s worth – having a bath and brushing teeth are real challenges of co-ordination, balance and muscle memory, and I’m not even going to risk having a shave. Even getting my cock out to take a piss takes an astounding degree of concentration.

Despite Our marital difficulties [Ed: and whilst it has not been documented in this blog, those difficulties were as threatening as ever in the days leading up to AM’s injury.] [SuperEd: We feel obliged to reiterate that AM’s accident was entirely of His own making, and his Wife was not remotely involved, or even catalytic.] my Wife has picked up the slack with apparent willingness. There was even a fleeting offer to help with things like washing My hair and shaving. [Ed: As we are now over three months into COVID lockdown, AM’s pubes have grown to a decidedly unruly length, and quite frankly, his Wife’s assistance shaving would not go amiss!]Β  There has, inevitably, been one task that where a hand has conspicuously not been offered:
Wanking!

6-8 weeks without a wank would be without precedent since I was 15yrs old, and any pain I am currently in would be rivalled were I not to empty my balls for that long.

As much as a left-hand-wank is infamously akin to getting tossed off by someone else, I’m confident there are few of us who can use our non-dominant hand to rub one out nearly as efficiently as we would normally. Masturbation takes practice, and where my right hand has conservatively benefited from well in excess of 15,000 practice sessions, [Ed: Do the maths, Dear Reader, do the maths!] even though my left has regularly contributed to my orgasms, it has rarely been responsible for pulling the trigger for the money-shot. Additionally, as we all know, the left boner is connected to the right boner

… so it’s no surprise that having an unskilled, vigorous thrash with my left hand is resulting in pain on the right. So that’s not working.

Which is a pity, because having spent the last two weeks unable to wank effectively, my balls are rock solid and my erections are not only as regular as ever, they are also noticeably harder than usual. What a waist!

Conveniently, I have sex toys to which I could turn to.

The most practical option is, naturally, my Fleshlight. It’s big enough that it can be wedged between a couple of pillows and I can rely on hip thrusts rather than arm movements, but with the entire family at home full time, it’s going to be risky leaving the plastic pussy out to dry after washing out cum, lube and guilt. Hell … the sleeve is fiddly enough to wash with two hands, so maybe I should ask my Wife to take on that duty for me.

If only Our relationship were in a better place, being unable to painlessly deal with my own needs, I might be able to request more regular attentions from my Wife? Surely a diligent spouse would not see that as too inconvenient a imposition?

5 Responses to “Inconvenient”

  1. Get well soon AM. Sorry to hear that you hurt yourself. Maybe you could use this time to become ambidextrous (?) I have noticed that I use my dominant hand for writing and That, and barely anything else. Take care. Bisous 😘

  2. I’m SO glad you are recovering, but hate that you got hurt. πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹
    Actually laughed out loud when you made sure to make it VERY clear that your damage wasn’t because of your wife. Makes me wonder what you did? πŸ€”
    πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

  3. Oh no, AM! I’m so sorry to hear about your accident (woefully late, I know. Apologies!!) I hope that you are healing up well 🌷

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