Archive for the Dirty Little Secrets Category

DLS 20: Bad dad

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear, Parenting with tags , on October 23, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

There are some risks one shouldn’t take.
The sort of risks where one potentially puts others in jeopardy without their consent.
Not least in terms of their future.
So I probably shouldn’t have done it.
It’s not that I was actually putting anyone else directly at risk.
But …

My Wife is away on business again. Unusually for the second time in just a couple of weeks.
The date happens to coincide with Continue reading

DLS 19: Defiance

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Sex therapy with tags , , , on February 22, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

There are some things I do, if not entirely, at least partially out of defiance. Fuck the world!!! This is not indicative of maturity, I know, but as a man I’m only expected to have the maturity of a 14yr old … at best.

When I reach for the gin and top up my glass for the third time in an evening, whilst I genuinely like the taste and am far from averse to intoxication, as my Wife does not consume much alcohol, there is a touch of defiance in my imbibing.

When I wank, although I Continue reading

DLS 18: Black (lace) ops

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Underwear with tags , on December 31, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Think of black ops and what do you picture? Highly trained combatants sneaking around after dark, destabilising established orders and taking out the bad guys? That’s not so far from what I’ve just been involved with.

Highly trained? Highly sexed is more relevant here.
Sneaking around after dark? In the Continue reading

DLS 17 : Swing!

Posted in Ball stretching, Dirty Little Secrets with tags on July 16, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

There must be something in the air at the moment, or in the water, because I seem to be constantly horny. Even more than usual. 24/7. Not only that, I’m very much going through a kink phase. Sometimes my porn digest is just cocks and cunts. Right now it’s heavily doused in fetishism. There’s a degree to which this is a nuisance as I have a load of work to do and time frames are narrow. I could just rub one out at the start of the working day, unplug the computer from the internet and crack on with productive day after productive day. But I’m Continue reading

DLS 16 : Maybe I’m getting old. 

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on May 18, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Unusually I was away from home sans wife and offspring last night. Family business took me several hundred miles away from home overnight. I was staying with relatives but also taking the opportunity to visit an old school friend. Which presented another opportunity: the other day I spent an hour or so perusing locally available services on but time was short, budget was limited, and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure how motivated I really am. Maybe next time.

However, being away from home life somehow always brings out the pervert in me.

So yesterday, as I drove Continue reading

DLS #14 : Top and tail

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear with tags , , , , , on October 11, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

My Wife is away on business over night and the significance of this has changed a little in the last week or so. Usually when work has kept Her out of our bed, for me it has been a chance to have more sex than usual … albeit with myself. As we kissed and hugged our goodbyes this morning (in itself a significant change for our habits) She said …
Her: I’ll miss you tonight. I gratuitously fondled Her arse and although She didn’t reciprocate, She didn’t complain either!

I contemplated suggesting phone sex. I still might. Continue reading

DLS #13 : Tied up at the office

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets with tags , , , on February 12, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

Part of the appeal of kink for me is it’s non-conformist nature. The fact that doing something kinky would not meet with approval from the moral masses. All of which fits very nicely with my Dirty Little Secrets. There’s something very satisfying knowing that you are being secretly kinky whilst in an entirely a-sexual situation, and being the only one who knows.

Sometimes I work from home, sometimes I work at clients’ offices, and when I do I love being kinky. That can take the form of wearing rubber under my work clothes, or a ball stretcher, and although I’ve never not done so, I have even contemplated wearing my butt plug to work. But one of my favourite work place DLSs is Continue reading

DLS #12 : Out with the chaps

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear with tags , , , on February 2, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

It is quite likely that my sexual resurgence of the last couple of days was catalyzed by my Wife’s having to go away from home on business for a few days. It invariably brings out the pervert in me. Usually I’ll end up wearing my cock cage or ball stretchers and tossing myself off two or three times a day, until She comes home. Continue reading

DLS #11 : Time to get plugged

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Sex toys with tags , , , , , , , on November 22, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

It’s been a while since I shared a Dirty Little Secret with you, Dear Reader. And it’s been a while since I played with a butt plug. So I thought it was about time I rectified both of these. [Hmmm … thinks to self : Rectified – sounds like Rectum : what an interesting choice of word.] I’m not feeling unusually frisky today, so I don’t know what inspired me to reach for the toy box this morning, and especially not so early in the day. This is turning out tho be afirst for me. Or rather a whole host of first. Continue reading

DLS #9 : School reunion

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets with tags , , , , , , , on September 18, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Tonight I a meeting up with a couple of folk I know from school; Liam and Paul. (Noel and Tony are respectively out of the country and otherwise occupied.) Liam was a good friend for a long time, though our lives have gone in very different directions, and we have juxtaposed views on a lot of things. Paul was a complete shit to me at school, and I’ve only met him since when in the company of mutual friends, and on the false friendship pages of FaceBook. To the best of my knowledge, he and I have have also lived very differently for the past 2 decades, and frankly I don’t really care if I never see him again. But because we have a modicum of shared history, and a mutual friend in Liam, we will sit down this evening and try to be sociable towards each other.

So what’s this got to do with my sex blog?

Continue reading

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