Archive for the Dirty Little Secrets Category

DLS #12 : Out with the chaps

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear with tags , , , on February 2, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

It is quite likely that my sexual resurgence of the last couple of days was catalyzed by my Wife’s having to go away from home on business for a few days. It invariably brings out the pervert in me. Usually I’ll end up wearing my cock cage or ball stretchers and tossing myself off two or three times a day, until She comes home. Continue reading

DLS #11 : Time to get plugged

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Sex toys with tags , , , , , , , on November 22, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

It’s been a while since I shared a Dirty Little Secret with you, Dear Reader. And it’s been a while since I played with a butt plug. So I thought it was about time I rectified both of these. [Hmmm … thinks to self : Rectified – sounds like Rectum : what an interesting choice of word.] I’m not feeling unusually frisky today, so I don’t know what inspired me to reach for the toy box this morning, and especially not so early in the day. This is turning out tho be afirst for me. Or rather a whole host of first. Continue reading

DLS #9 : School reunion

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets with tags , , , , , , , on September 18, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Tonight I a meeting up with a couple of folk I know from school; Liam and Paul. (Noel and Tony are respectively out of the country and otherwise occupied.) Liam was a good friend for a long time, though our lives have gone in very different directions, and we have juxtaposed views on a lot of things. Paul was a complete shit to me at school, and I’ve only met him since when in the company of mutual friends, and on the false friendship pages of FaceBook. To the best of my knowledge, he and I have have also lived very differently for the past 2 decades, and frankly I don’t really care if I never see him again. But because we have a modicum of shared history, and a mutual friend in Liam, we will sit down this evening and try to be sociable towards each other.

So what’s this got to do with my sex blog?

Continue reading

DLS #8: When the cat’s away

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Sex on my own with tags , , , , on July 11, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Believe it or not, I don’t masturbate as often as I’d like. When I was single I’d tug one off before I got out of bed pretty much every morning and wank myself to sleep pretty much every night. And if I felt the urge any other time of day, no one was going to object if I sat down on my sofa, popped open my fly, and spanked the monkey whilst watching a porn movie. Now I’m a happily married man (who hasn’t got laid for 6 months now) such luxuries are a little irregular.  Continue reading

DLS #7: Oops!

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Male pubic waxing with tags , , , , , , , on June 21, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

It was a bad morning. If you’re reading today’s two posts in the right order you’ll know why. And after the world had sucked, major league, I headed off to my appointment to get my pubes waxed. On arriving, the usual greeting …
Zoe:  “How’s things?”
Me: “Don’t ask.”
Zoe: “You having a bad day too? Have a seat and I’ll be with you in a minute … Right, come on through and tell me all about it. What’s up?” Continue reading

DLS #6 : Wank, rest and play

Posted in Ball stretching, Dirty Little Secrets, Sex on my own with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 16, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m working from home today. Actually I’ve been tied to my desk all weekend (no, not literally, you naughty, naughty people) and I will be increasingly so, over the next month or two. And with school holidays over, I’m home alone all day. I’ve got a lot of work to do in the next 6hrs, at which time I have to do the school run, but in the meantime that doesn’t stop me playing … with myself.

Continue reading

DLS #5 : Case notes

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets with tags , , , , , on March 12, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Today I have been berated by a couple of your number, Dear Readers, and I feel this is a little unjustified. I have been accused of being a tease because, having been asked questions in response to Up all night, I have said you’ll just have to wait a little while for an explanation. You know all to well that I don’t do things by halves, especially when it comes to brevity and blog posts. It takes me a while to pen such a response. Especially when the answer is long and multifaceted. But I have been working on it. I really have. And I probably shouldn’t.

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