Archive for the Fixing a broken marriage Category

Handing in homework

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on January 16, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

After Our first therapy session, we were given homework.

We had started out reasonably well with our mutual, daily expressions of affirmation, but they had largely petered out. With 3 weeks since Our first session, (our 2nd session was delayed by both Xmas and illness) for me at least, it had become hard work. Whilst my Wife had said some pleasing things, I’d run out of steam and whatever I came up with felt

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Yet more sleeping arrangements

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on January 10, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

After a week of seaaonal occupation, our familial house guests departed.
We were to have friends and their kids to stay the next night, and the logical decision was to let them all sleep in “Our” room.

For one night this would leave “Our” bed – more recently “Her” bed – unoccupied.
She could have Continue reading

Shared

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on December 28, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It had been a rough day at the coal face of family life. Actually, two coal faces. And neither traumas involved fighting with my Wife. On the contrary, for one we were almost on the same side, and the other we were both shared the same enemy. By the end of the day we shared the same metaphorical bruises but had inflicted very few on the other.
Once We were finally left alone …
Me: Lets just Continue reading

Homework

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on December 27, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At the end of our first therapy session We were sent away with 3 bits of homework.

  1. Say something positive and affirming to each other once each day.
  2. Try a 5 Languages of Love online quiz, because usually people give what they want to get back, and it’s useful to understand how we communicate affection.
  3. And to write three lists of threes:
    • 3 things we want to keep
    • 3 things we want to discard
    • 3 things we want to introduce

We conspicuously Continue reading

Return of the butler

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on December 26, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

When my Wife and I met, we were members of a minority sports club. Whilst shopping for underwear in a gay shop in the red light district of The Big Smoke, I stumbled upon a greetings card. It featured a very buff, naked man participating in our sport. Only his face and Continue reading

Sleeping arangements and other things

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on December 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

There was discussion about the logistics of Xmas. Transportation of elderly relatives. Menu choices. Shopping for food. Sleeping arrangements.  In their own way any if these are equally tortuous matters. Sleeping arrangements (we have been sleeping in separate rooms for over a month now) were probably mentioned early on. The discussion was postponed until the younger proportion of the family was tucked up in bed.

I had a moment alone in the kitchen. I reflected on sleeping arrangements. My thoughts were not of sex, just of being in bed with my Wife. I really wasn’t thinking about sex. Really. Just sharing the same 5ft by 6ft space. But Continue reading

Here We go again

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Six years. Would you believe it, Dear Reader? Last week represented six years since I started this blog. Having looked back at how it has told the story of much of Our Dysfunction, I’m surprised.
On the one hand, it was when I resolved to try to resucitate our flagging sex life, though I don’t really remember what had led up to that in any detail.
It was also when my Wife willingly accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie for Xmas.
And possibly most significantly, it was only a couple of months before we first visited a marriage counsellor.
I honestly can’t get my head around how these things fitted together in such a short period of time.

And here we are again. At our first session with a counsellor. Albeit one that comes from a sex therapy angle.

Sex is Continue reading

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