Archive for the Dr Ruth Category

To write, or not to write …

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , on March 5, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Months ago I passively decided I wasn’t going to write about my dysfunctional marriage any more. It wasn’t a firm decision, I just didn’t feel it was helping. And yet there has been, from time to time, a nagging sense of obligation for completeness. Having spend a few days in intensive counselling with Dr Ruth, a couple of other Skype  appointments took place – one with me individually, and two with both my Wife and me. And somehow I felt I should document them. But to what end? Venting? Post-processing? Narcacism? Certainly nothing that felt significantly meritorious.

That feeling is back.
Should I write?

The reason? We’re back at Continue reading

Difficult

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags on August 31, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Anyone who blogs about personal stuff will know that writing about difficult situations can be … well … difficult.
This has been a difficult post to write, to the extent that this is my fourth, fifth, maybe sixth attempt. All previous versions have been trashed.
The last 6 weeks have been difficult.
But to cut a long story short …

Since spending three days with Dr Ruth, there have been Continue reading

A harmless assumption

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Sex on my own on August 5, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

All men masturbate and most men watch porn.

They were bold assertions, and I’m sure Dr Ruth could quote data to back them up (possibly Kinsey or Janus or NATSAL). And whilst I’m a great believer that broad, loosely statistical statements are pretty meaningless without context, these two are not without benefit to me.

My Wife and I have Continue reading

No one said it would be easy

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , on August 2, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

One post-Dr-Ruth conversation that was positive. The next two, far from it. We have a long way to go.

Trust
Accept
Assert

It turns out none of these are easy.

I’m going to Continue reading

Imago – definition

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , on July 31, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I have mentioned Imago a couple of times and it will crop up again. From the little I have read about it, I suspect We have just been introduced to a subset of the technique, but it is the label We have been given, and so is a convenient shorthand.
In terms of the tool Dr Ruth suggested, Imago works roughly as follows: Continue reading

Again and again

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage on July 30, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I couldn’t remember what we’d been talking about when She got irritated and confrontational. She had had a crap journey home from work and it was just symptomatic of Her bad day. Or so I assumed.
But it wasn’t OK to take it out on me.
I am not Her punch bag.

Thankfully I was Continue reading

Reprogramming

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex with my wife with tags , , on July 29, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Dr Ruth suggested it takes daily repetition for just 28 days to create new neural pathways in the brain. She was referring to behaviour changes but, as evidence, cited brushing your teeth – do it left handed twice a day for 28 days and you will be brushing ambidextrously.

Obviously, being a thorough dissolute, and despite my diligence when it comes to dental care, the twice-daily left-handed activity that came to mind first was …

… of course it was, Dear Reader!

We’re all familiar with the concept of The Left Handed Wank: assuming we’re right handed, the majority of us masturbate right handed. Swapping hands feels different – almost like someone else is playing with out bits – and who doesn’t enjoy that, right?!
Furthermore, I was reminded yesterday about another factor when I stumbled across this advice column.

… No more gripping your dick […]. From now on, whenever you masturbate, you’re going to jerk it with a light touch and few drops of lube. […] You gotta stop serving [your dick with] the kind of stimulation your dick has come to expect — the death grip — because the only way your dick will ever come to appreciate the subtler and damper sensations that vaginas provide is if you give your dick no choice. Give your dick what it’s used to, and your dick will be forever dependent on it. 

Sage advice!
Probably 5 or 6 years ago, when my Wife and I at least fucked occasionally, condoms were guaranteed contraception, as I really struggled to orgasm in Her quim whilst wearing one. [Ed: Subsequently, AM found better, thinner, more sensitive jonnies in the form of Okomoto 004, even if they were of insufficient diameter to be ideally suited to His girth.] Aware that perpetual masturbation also had a part to play, I told Her that I wanted my dick to be more used to Her pussy than my hand. Looking back, an equally valid solution might have been getting used to The Left Hand Wank …

… but I would certainly rather have been grinding deep into Her lovely, tight cunt than even in my less-than-familiar left fist.

This weeks Sunday Sin also plaid into my current thinking:
To feature my wedding ring needed a left hand wank. And if my Wife and I do ever fuck again, ejaculating literally hundreds of times in my hand since I last came in Her cunt, my dick is going to need reprogramming.

So, for the next 28 days, cum or no cum, twice a day I will be attempting to create new neural pathways.

Sinful Sunday 433 – A ring of truth

Posted in Ball stretching, Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sinful Sunday with tags , , , , on July 27, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Being acknowledged is sexy. Knowing that Someone is taking notice of You, especially in a sexual sense, is a huge aphrodisiac. And in the wake of several days with Dr Ruth, my Wife simultaneously being obliged to consider my perspective and actually expressing both empathy and regret for Her behaviour towards me, and then being OK when I said I felt horny … well … it’s a virtuous circle and the last couple of days have seen Continue reading

Going backwards

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on July 26, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

It was an innocent enough request on Her part. Obviously She felt justified in making it.
To me it seemed irrational. I complied, though it irritated me to do so.
Nothing more was said, but it sat in the back of my mind.

Was this going to be The New Us?

We had supper as a family.
It was all sociable.
And when the plates were cleared an my Wife and I were left alone in the kitchen, I asked for a Dr Ruth moment.
We sat.
And I asked why She had made what I felt was an unjustified request.

Now you might think, Dear Reader, that Continue reading

Epiphany

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on July 25, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Having ended Day 2 with Dr Ruth in a decidedly crap place, it was difficult to at least not be unsettled going into Day 3.
It was plain all three of us were aware of that.

So Day 3, our last day, needed to be about Continue reading

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