Archive for the Kirsty Category


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Sex with my wife on March 10, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

This morning I read of Storm’s broken vagina. Thankfully it is not a story without hope, at least for Storm, but it robbed me of some of mine.
Storm writes … Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , , , , on August 17, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

The last few weeks have been tough at Chez AM. I’m not going into details, but both my Wife and I seem to have felt increasingly that We’re on the brink of divorce. Even our weekly counselling sessions have been turbulent.

Amidst that, somehow We agreed We would sit down this last weekend and talk. One thing that has become increasingly apparent recently is our ability to have the same conversation and yet walk away from it as if We had had two entirely different conversations. So even that conversation nearly didn’t happen. Nearly.

Kirsty, our counsellor, has recently asked Us to think about what would be Enough to save the marriage. What would We respectively need as a minimum for it to be worth saving?
There was some discussion of Enough, and other things – fractious discussion – and then, at my insistence, We talked a bit about sex.
Yes. Dear Reader, We actually talked about sex.
Again, I’m not going into detail for the most part, but …

Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , on July 17, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

It took more than 20 counselling sessions to get to the big stuff.
With two such sessions under our belt, there was perhaps some sense of progress, but my belief that what We respectively want from a marriage may yet prove incompatible, insufficient to sustain Our’s, and divorce may yet be the most logical way forward … this seemed to come as a surprise to my Wife.
We stumbled through the first half of the session, throughout which I knew there was an all too familiar elephant in the room.

Although I know it needs Continue reading

Equally conflicted

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on July 13, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

In Our last two relationship counselling sessions with Kirsty, We have finally got round to talking about the the big stuff. The things that you don’t talk about in polite conversation: Politics, Sex, Money and Religion – the Four Topics of The Apocalypse. Despite my having had 3 individual sessions with Kirsty just talking about Sex and, to the best of my knowledge, my Wife having one of Her own [Ed: It is difficult to know whether that 3:1 ratio has more to do with AM being proportionately more willing to talk about the sex, or that his Wife just has disproportionately little to discuss.] it is perhaps less surprising than disappointing that Continue reading

Hold the presses!!!

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , on May 28, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Would you Adam and believe it, Shocked Reader?!

Having repeatedly said in counselling that I wanted to talk about sex, and after Kirsty,our counsellor, finally picked up the baton, and My two subsequent quite explicit conversations on the subject in individual sessions, then Kirsty (privately) agreeing with Me that a) it was reasonable to say that if We aren’t going to talk about sex, I am going to phone a divorce lawyer, and b) that she shared my lack of confidence that my Wife would willingly subject Her sexuality to scrutiny …

First thing this morning I hear Continue reading

The rise and fall of eyebrows

Posted in Fetishwear, Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Parenting, Porn, Sex therapy, Sexual politics, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , , , on May 24, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

This post may signal one of the most important moments in both my marriage and this blog. It is therefore not going to be short, Dear Reader. Indeed, it feels almost like a transcription of an entire 70min counselling session AND a whole load of analysis and back story. As we’re all in lock-down, I’ll assume you have time to read it … but you might want to pour yourself a very large glass of wine first.
Right, here we go …

My latest individual counselling session with Kirsty started with Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Sexual politics, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , , , , , on May 21, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Dear Reader, I’m unconvinced this post merits publishing, and I’m aware it’s not remotely my best written, but my blog is rapidly becoming just a chronicle, and this fits within that. So …

Doubtless I shouldn’t be particularly surprised, but rather than talking about sex, as expected at yesterday’s relationship counselling session, We ended up talking about our wedding, communication, respect and curiosity. Don’t get me wrong, Dear Reader, most of these things absolutely need discussing, but it really does seem perennially easy to not talk about sex.

However, just as we’re drawing to the end of the session Continue reading

Happy / Unhappy

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , on May 20, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Me: Morning.
Her: How are you doing?
Me: Ok.
A 5yr old would have known that lacked a degree of sincerity.
Her: Happy anniversary.
When arranging our next session with Kirsty, Our counsellor, at the end of our last session, I had observed the portent of it marking Our 13th wedding anniversary.
Me: You know what my earworm is?
She sang the wrong opening line to the right song … Continue reading

Cards on the table

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

In some respects, I’m ready to pull the pin on the divorce grenade. It’s certainly overdue that I stand by my own red line. We at least talk about sex, or I apply for a divorce.
My Wife can say She wants everything else in place – trust, respect, emotional safety … whatever and however She wants to define a functional relationship, but if She wants to take sex off the table Continue reading

A wait lifted

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , on May 15, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Excuse me, Dear Reader. I’m not sure I quite have the strength to write this post in the detail it might perhaps merit right now. It’s been quite a 48hrs.

First there was the session with Kirsty, our relationship counsellor, when the thorny issue of sex was finally acknowledged as something that is a key to Us staying married. God knows I’ve had to wait long enough for this conversation, despite repeated attempts on my part.
Then there was yet another fight the following day. It was about something entirely different, and followed the usual pattern – a grievance met by a counter-grievance followed by silence and withdrawal from all dialog.
And finally, today there has been Continue reading

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