Archive for the Fixing a broken marriage Category

Hey look! There’s a bloody great elephant in the room.

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Sex therapy with tags , , , , on May 14, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Finally! 18yrs after We first got together, 16yrs after I moved in with my Wife-to-be, 14yrs after We bought a house together, 13yrs after We got married, 8½yrs since I decided to try to reinvigorate our flagging sex life, over 900 blog posts since my Wife happily accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie, 6½yrs since She rejected The Classy Blue Lingerie, getting on for 3 years since We last fucked, 2½yrs after I moved out of Her bedroom, something like 45hrs and 4 different counsellors between us, and finally Continue reading

Tasks and surprises

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , on April 27, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

With days of the week now largely an irrelevance for many of us, I think between us, my Wife and I have had 3 sessions with Kirsty, the counsellor, since It’s not all bad.

In brief …
We have continued to have tasks as homework:

Try to Continue reading

Destroy me, if you can.

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , on April 11, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Well this is going to be an interesting 24hrs.
I guess. Maybe.

Today I had an email to the account I use for a lot of my perving. It opened with … Continue reading

Is this a dagger?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , on April 9, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m tired.

Tired of all this.
Tired of being angry.
Tired of trying for nought.
Tired of what at best is tortuously pedestrian progress, or at worst less than none at all.

Maybe Continue reading

Blame, blame, and more blame

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , , , on April 7, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

When I had a few sessions of counselling on my own almost exactly a year ago, I had said to Sandra, the counsellor, that I wanted to stop caring. She took that negatively, not how I had meant it. Maybe there was an element of fuck you, I don’t care any more in it, but fundamentally, I wanted to be able to let the things that stress me, just wash over me, not get caught in the net of angst. Now, I find myself thinking what, if anything, will enable me to let go of the blame that I pile at my Wife’s feet?

After the previous nights Skype call with Kirsty, Our current counsellor, I had wanted to explore this, and She had a free appointment a couple of days later. I wanted to talk about blame. I wanted to talk about moving past it. I wanted to talk about my need to hear apologies from my Wife without them being suffixed by But. To examine whether, when We fight, my Wife’s complaints that I don’t listen are related. (It’s not intentional on my part, but I am aware that I have a tenancy to get lost in my own thoughts at times like that.)

Kirsty and I didn’t talk so much about Continue reading

Turning tides

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , on April 1, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

I was folding laundry as She came downstairs.
Her: Morning.
She sounded uncommonly subdued.
Me: Morning.
I was unusually cheery. Unusually so for a morning after another fight. (Another fight We’d had about parenting styles which had come about after another fight She had been part of an I hadn’t.) On mornings like this it is usually my Wife who has slept it off an I who is still shrouded by thunder clouds.
Her: I’m glad to hear you sounding positive.
Me: The world’s different now.
Her: Sorry if I said things the wrong way last night.
Nothing from me. I’m tired of apologising. Not that I’m suggesting I didn’t get things wrong.
Her: I’ll have some breakfast and then we can talk.

It was one of those moments when Continue reading

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

After talking to Kirsty, our counsellor, alone, I went for another walk.
The world felt heavy as I left the house. I had questions I need to answer.
By the time I returned a couple of hours later, the world felt Continue reading

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