Archive for the Sex therapy Category

Yet more sleeping arrangements

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on January 10, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

After a week of seaaonal occupation, our familial house guests departed.
We were to have friends and their kids to stay the next night, and the logical decision was to let them all sleep in “Our” room.

For one night this would leave “Our” bed – more recently “Her” bed – unoccupied.
She could have Continue reading

Homework

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on December 27, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At the end of our first therapy session We were sent away with 3 bits of homework.

  1. Say something positive and affirming to each other once each day.
  2. Try a 5 Languages of Love online quiz, because usually people give what they want to get back, and it’s useful to understand how we communicate affection.
  3. And to write three lists of threes:
    • 3 things we want to keep
    • 3 things we want to discard
    • 3 things we want to introduce

We conspicuously Continue reading

Sleeping arangements and other things

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on December 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

There was discussion about the logistics of Xmas. Transportation of elderly relatives. Menu choices. Shopping for food. Sleeping arrangements.  In their own way any if these are equally tortuous matters. Sleeping arrangements (we have been sleeping in separate rooms for over a month now) were probably mentioned early on. The discussion was postponed until the younger proportion of the family was tucked up in bed.

I had a moment alone in the kitchen. I reflected on sleeping arrangements. My thoughts were not of sex, just of being in bed with my Wife. I really wasn’t thinking about sex. Really. Just sharing the same 5ft by 6ft space. But Continue reading

Here We go again

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Six years. Would you believe it, Dear Reader? Last week represented six years since I started this blog. Having looked back at how it has told the story of much of Our Dysfunction, I’m surprised.
On the one hand, it was when I resolved to try to resucitate our flagging sex life, though I don’t really remember what had led up to that in any detail.
It was also when my Wife willingly accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie for Xmas.
And possibly most significantly, it was only a couple of months before we first visited a marriage counsellor.
I honestly can’t get my head around how these things fitted together in such a short period of time.

And here we are again. At our first session with a counsellor. Albeit one that comes from a sex therapy angle.

Sex is Continue reading

A perfect storm

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , on December 19, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

To Her credit, I think She’s been trying in the last couple of weeks. She has overtly said appreciative things. She has said thank you. A couple of times She has seemed to rein Herself in to a small degree.
When She gets home from work, She generally passes the kitchen window, and I’m generally cooking for the rest of the family. Tonight She Continue reading

What’s in a word

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on December 18, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It never ceases to impress me how much significance is invested in some words.

  • A vocal feminist I know recently took to their soapbox to expound on how “Guys” is not gender neutral: you wouldn’t ask a man if he fucks “guys”.
  • The night I complained about Our pedestrian progress towards sex therapy, I also mentioned Continue reading

All change

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on December 17, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It took 3 days, 20 emails, 7 text messages and 2 phonecalls between me, the sex therapy clinic and my Wife to get an appointment before Xmas. And that didn’t include whatever it took to arrange childcare.

For most of that I was just piggy-in-the-middle. If my Wife had made the phone call Herself, it would have been so much simpler. But having recently thrown back at Her Her own historical assertion that She’s a control freak, I wondered if She was making a point of abdicating responsibility.

Along the way it transpired we had been loosely booked to see Carol some time in the New Year. I didn’t remember that being mentioned. Anyway, we were now seeing Sue a few days before Xmas.

Out of curiosity I later looked at Continue reading

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