Archive for the Meet the Masturbator Category

Neither the time nor the place

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , on September 5, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It wasn’t my bed.
It wasn’t the time of night to be awake.
It wasn’t an ordinary erection.

It was the sort of boner that Continue reading

Maybe it’s me?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Meet the Masturbator with tags , , on April 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Maybe it’s me?
Maybe I’m the problem?
Maybe our failure to have a normal sex life is my fault?
Maybe I’m just insatiable?
For about two decades it was a Continue reading

Not even one

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags on February 24, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

… and then there are days which start with an erection that feels like it’s been reinforced with steel, and Continue reading

Guilt free

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , on January 7, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

I turned out of our road and headed for town. She was 30yds ahead of me, but even at that distance she caught my attention. I picked up my pace to catch up with her. I had no intention of speaking to her, or engaging with her in any way whatsoever, nor did I have anything remotely nefarious in mind. She was just … what was it about her?

At about 5’4″ with dark hair pulled up into a pony tail, she was Continue reading


Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , on November 5, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m horny all the time.
I’ve not had a fuck in 10 months.
There’s little sign of either changing.
C’est la vie!
So I’ve been reflecting on sex – what I like, why I like it, how important it is to me. And it got me thinking about where it all started. When did I become interested in sex? What were the triggers? What effect did it have? What were the formative steps on my road to being the enthusiast I am today?

What follows really just started out as a bit of an intellectual exercise, and having written it down, read it, re-read it, and mused on it for a few days, I’m not even sure what it reveals, if anything, other than I’ve bought a lot of porn, and spent a lot of time jerking off. But you knwew that, Dear Reader, didn’t you.
Anyway, here it is Continue reading

Do bears fuck in the woods?

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , , on February 7, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Remember that song from when you were a kid? You know the one:

If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the Teddy Bears disapear off into the woods,
all dressed up in kinky stuff, and indulge in hedonsitic, depraved acts with eachother, or anything else they can lay their dirty little paws upon.

That’s how it went.
Wasn’t it?
Maybe not … or Continue reading


Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on December 29, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

I feel horny.
Ok, there’s a degree to which that goes without saying, but what does that actually mean?
I looked the word up in the dictionary …

horny (adj) /ˈhɔː.ni/ – informal, sexually excited

Nothing ground breaking there, so maybe the question should be what does horny feel like?

I started writing this post, in Continue reading

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